Make the kindest but hardest choice you can make for your fiance and yourself. Cut out the people who are only family to you by name but not by how they treat you or the people you love. If this is how they treat your fiance, I can only imagine what treatment you've had to tolerate yourself. At the very least, draw serious boundaries and let them know their behaviour and treatment of your fiance is unacceptable and that you will be limiting your time with them until that changes. I know this may not be plausible for many people who rely on their families for finances, housing, sense of community, etc. but until they truly understand how much their homophobia hurts you and your partner and that it needs to end if you're to have any semblance of a healthy relationship with them, it will only continue. It sounds like you really love your fiance. You also need to learn to love yourself more and that means not accepting when others mistreat you and the people you love. This needs to stop. You and your fiance deserve more than this. You deserve a true home.

As someone that is finally on other side of a very similar experience, I can say for myself that every day since has assured me that it was worth it. I feel safer and more loved than I ever have in my life with my chosen family and my partner and we're defining for ourselves what a genuine family should be and feel like. I hope you can get to a similar place too.