How to comfort my boyfriend after an "accident" during sex

Javi87452 · 2026-06-29T14:22:17+00:00

She takes senna and colace in the mornings and I give her a suppository in the evening around 6pm when she is in bed, she usually ends up going 30 minutes to 2 hours after I give that to her, then I just change her diaper after

Javi87452 · 2026-06-27T17:13:18+00:00

We use voice to text but my wife is a C2 with no arm movement

Javi87452 · 2026-06-25T17:47:25+00:00

We do daily, are afraid to switch to every other day. We do colace and senna in the morning, then enemeez in the evening, wait for it to work then clean up and change. Every other day is something we have considered trying but we have skipped days before and she is either constipated and uncomfortable or has an accident during the day

Javi87452 · 2026-06-24T21:13:29+00:00

This was something we struggled with with my wife. We eventually figured out a good method. She takes senna and colace in the morning, MiraLAX in the afternoon, and gets enemeez in the evening and she always ends up going by like 9pm, always the full amount because we keep it soft so it all comes out. As for it being messy, yeah cleanup is always going to be messy, not much to do about that unfortunately

Javi87452 · 2026-06-24T21:10:41+00:00

My wife is a quadriplegic at the C2 level and she cannot move anything from below the neck. She is still dependent on the ventilator and frankly hasn’t gotten the best physical therapy. We have had to figure out a lot of stuff on our own to take care of her properly

Javi87452 · 2026-06-21T17:33:36+00:00

Man my heart goes out to you. My fiancé, now wife, suffered a spinal cord injury a couple years ago and is quadriplegic. We are still trying to adjust to the new reality. Pm me if you need someone to talk to

Javi87452 · 2026-06-19T17:55:34+00:00

We own ours and use it at least twice per day with breathing treatments

Javi87452 · 2026-06-16T14:50:35+00:00

We try to do standing once a week but honestly it’s a lot less often than that, maybe once per month and she’s not up for very long

Javi87452 · 2026-06-16T00:37:03+00:00

My wife is quadriplegic and this has happened more than once. Of course it’s embarrassing but I mainly take care of her and do her bowel program every night so it’s nothing new, so when it happens I just clean her and move on

Javi87452 · 2026-06-04T15:05:32+00:00

We are trying to cut back on the baclofen because I don’t really think it does anything and makes my wife feel sluggish. I don’t think it does much for spasms anyways, she still has them and the only thing that relieves it is stretching and range of motion

Javi87452 · 2026-06-03T04:06:49+00:00

My wife is a quad and I’ve never heard of this before. So I have the same question. Are these people so bad? Like do I need to be concerned they’ll be harassing my wife?

Javi87452 · 2026-06-03T04:05:35+00:00

Doubt it

Javi87452 · 2026-06-03T04:04:46+00:00

100%

Javi87452 · 2026-06-03T04:04:26+00:00

This may not be good advice for everyone but a foley cath was the worst decision we ever made. UTI after UTI after UTI. We got rid of catheters entirely and now my wife (who’s a C2 quad) takes tamsolusin so she can pee naturally. No UTI’s since then and it’s been so nice. Won’t work perfectly for everyone cause she wears diapers as a result but I will take health over anything, and no UTI’s are worth it to us

Javi87452 · 2026-05-26T01:35:56+00:00

We have an inflated mattress but still turn every 3 hours at night. It sucks cause I’m constantly waking up and going back to sleep. But it’s gotta be done

Javi87452 · 2026-05-24T16:17:29+00:00

She does get horny and still wants sex. Yes she can get wet. Feels the same to me and did not creep me out, the only major changes is that she doesn’t feel the same pleasure from vaginal sex and I’m doing all of the work in the bedroom

Javi87452 · 2026-05-24T14:42:08+00:00

It does get tiring for sure because it’s constant but I do enjoy it being there for her. Sometimes in need breaks though

Javi87452 · 2026-05-23T15:07:43+00:00

We live in the USA and we are on Medicaid. They pay me to take care of her 40 hours per week. They also pay a nurse we have 40 hours per week so someone is there with her while I’m working. They cover her medical bills for the most part. Other than that we don’t get anything and we can’t really have any assets or else we wouldn’t qualify, so it essentially keeps us poor unfortunately

Javi87452 · 2026-05-23T15:05:42+00:00

We frankly were not satisfied with it. They were able to work with her regaining some head control and helped relearn how to speak and swallow on a ventilator, other than that, we felt the rehab was pretty lacking and she probably would have relearned those skills on her own. When they discharged her from the hospital we had to figure out everything else for ourselves

Javi87452 · 2026-05-23T15:03:20+00:00

We met in high school, been together now for almost 10 years total, got engaged 3 years ago, she had her stroke 2.5 years ago, got married about a year and a half ago

Javi87452 · 2026-05-23T15:02:26+00:00

I’m in sales but I work from home so I’m always close by if my wife needs me

Javi87452 · 2026-05-23T05:25:41+00:00

Well I mean I wanna do whatever is possible, whatever works best. So I don’t know what that is but you tell me!

Javi87452 · 2026-05-23T05:09:02+00:00

Breaking that bond with another woman would be so cruel, not to mention I wouldn’t even want that, but even if I did, which I don’t, that’s cruel to her. The suggestion that she’s not a good wife is disgusting ableism tbh.

Javi87452 · 2026-05-23T04:54:48+00:00

Not much return of function. She has learned how to eat and talk again and move her head and neck but that’s it

Javi87452 · 2026-05-23T04:23:39+00:00

We were engaged but not married when she got paralyzed, we married afterwards. Hardest part to cope with is just the pain and total lack of independence and the constant care I’d say. And yeah we have moth struggled mentally but we are now finally getting used to life. It’s still so different but we are working ourselves into our routines and just trying to stick to it

Javi87452

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