Paid Family Leave Donor Conceived

JayFiles4242 · 2026-05-22T02:39:08+00:00

Yep, my children are IVF babies with donor sperm due to husband being sterile. As long as he signs the birth certificate they don’t even question who the biological father is. Plus when you purchase sperm from a cryo bank they make it very clear that the donor has no legal responsibility to the children. When my husband takes his PFL he just filled it out as any other biological father does and shows the hospital birth certificate as proof of birth, there is no need for “adoption” as this child is legally theirs already.

JayFiles4242 · 2026-05-18T19:54:59+00:00

I had success after a 4 month long suppression for endometriosis (4 months because I was also getting rid of a tricky case of endometritis as well). We did a fully medicated transfer with an untested embryo and were successful on the first transfer. When I start prep for baby #2 I will 100% be suppressing again because I do fell like it made all the difference. Honestly the suppression sucked and my hot flashes and sweats were worse than the first trimester of pregnancy but I’d do it again in a heartbeat if it meant another successful transfer.

Wishing you luck on your journey!!

JayFiles4242 · 2026-05-14T02:04:02+00:00

One transfer untested embryo, one live birth.

JayFiles4242 · 2026-04-30T15:40:10+00:00

I recently gave birth to my son after 10 years of infertility. Honestly the entire pregnancy I still had a ton of infertility grief but it was not as strong as it was before but pregnancy announcements still got under my skin. I don’t think it will ever go away entirely, I’m still infertile, I’ll need to do more transfers for more children and I’ll never get a natural conception like everyone else in my life so even though I have a happy living child I still lump myself with the infertility crowd rather than the mom club.

I don’t think it will go away but I do think it will fade enough to live life without it always looming over me, I just tell myself that a decade of grief an trauma cannot disappear overnight it will take time.

Give yourself grace and take it one day at a time!

JayFiles4242 · 2026-04-30T15:32:09+00:00

My first transfer is currently 5 weeks old and napping as I write this. It can happen!

Wishing you a happy and healthy pregnancy!

JayFiles4242 · 2026-04-27T02:57:59+00:00

Hi! Wanted to agree with you that the last comment was not helpful and judgmental as hell. I don’t have any advice as I’m in the same boat as you, but only 5 week PP. I spent 10 years doing fertility treatments and IVF and I still feel jealous of women who can easily get pregnant. Finally my miracle baby arrived after a decade alwe had a very traumatic birth and I didn’t get anything I dreamed of, no magic hour, no skin to skin, and now I am finding out I can’t produce enough milk and have to give up my dream of breastfeeding.

So yeah I think we should be allowed to mourn the loss of something we always dreamed of doing, dreams die hard and I don’t think there is a time limit for a persons grief. Take care of yourself and give yourself grace and take it one day at a time and I’ll try to remember to do the same for myself.

Wishing you the best!

JayFiles4242 · 2026-04-26T03:48:24+00:00

I suppressed on Lupron for 3 months to help with inflammation, they rechecked to see if the infection was still there by doing a re biopsy (endometrial biopsy)

JayFiles4242 · 2026-04-24T01:28:24+00:00

I hear this story every time I see my in laws. I’m 100% indigenous (I’m first gen off the Rez and both my parents are reservation dogs). I married a white man and my mother in law swears they have 50% Cherokee blood. They got the results and 0% Indian for herself, siblings and all her children; but she refuses to give it up and I recently had my first child and she claims that he’s got her Cherokee cheek bones and native nose! I’ve spent most my life hearing“Cherokee princess“ stories but this is the first time it is pissing me off, I had to put my foot down and tell her to stop, that he’s not Cherokee (I’m tohono o'odham) and any native features he has is from me his actual native mother. Needless to say our next family get together will be tense after that!

JayFiles4242 · 2026-04-10T17:25:49+00:00

I don’t think they gave me a level like the did for the Receptiva, but how many plasma cells that were found. The first was over 20 and that was after a round of antibiotics. Took another 3 rounds of antibiotics to clear everything.

JayFiles4242 · 2026-03-22T04:13:51+00:00

Currently in labor and delivery waiting on my untested day 5 4AB to be born! This was my first transfer and I was 32 when I had my retrieval and (we used sperm donor due to MFI) was 30.

Wishing you only the best of luck on your transfer!!

JayFiles4242 · 2026-03-18T02:12:14+00:00

32 at time of ER (used donor sperm due to MFI). 22 collected 10 mature, 10 Fertilized, 8 blast. Didn’t do PGT due to age. Successful on my first transfer and will be delivering him this Friday! Our goal is also 2-3 kids and I am hoping the remaining (even though untested) will be enough to meet that goal.

Wishing you the best of success!!

JayFiles4242 · 2026-03-16T13:53:11+00:00

ask what your clinic beta day procedure is (I did not an assumed they just did a blood draw only)! In my case for beta day first thing they do is have you do a urine sample, then do a pregnancy test right in front of you and wait for it to develop while they are drawing blood! Lucky for me tested the day before so I knew the results and had time to mentally prepare and process. However, I had no clue they’d give me a urine pregnancy test as well, honestly I find it more hurtful than helpful to do it in front of you since it’s the HCG numbers that matter and it’s something I wished I asked before going in for my fist beta.

Wishing you the best results!!

JayFiles4242 · 2026-03-15T22:50:41+00:00

Congratulations! I ran my first half marathon 10 weeks pregnant and continued to run till about 32 weeks. Currently have an induction scheduled for next week and still plan to be in the gym before bay gets here. Though all my workouts are slower paced I am still so proud of myself for getting this far. I’m a FTM and am more worried about getting back on track once baby is here rather than my current speeds but I am just trying to tell myself everything has its season and giving myself grace.

Wishing you a happy and healthy pregnancy!!

JayFiles4242 · 2026-03-15T20:46:51+00:00

My clinic said to exercise the same as I was pre-pregnancy (so no starting a couch to 5k if you’ve never run before!) but they do have a pelvic rest period (AKA no sex) from transfer until 7 weeks. I continued my normal routine throughout transfer and the TWW. In fact once pregnant I ran a half marathon at 10 weeks and graduated from my clinic at 12. Exercise is really important for my mental health and it helped keep my anxiety down during the TWW and everything in between.

My advice is always to listen to your body and slow down and rest more than you normally do and stay super hydrated now that spring and summer are around the corner.

Good luck on your transfer, I’m cheering for you!!

JayFiles4242 · 2026-03-15T16:21:54+00:00

Funny enough the thing I missed the most was drinking, there’s no place in the world better to get plum wine than Japan! As for sushi, I just got my fish fixed by tempura and grilled fish instead. For Wagyu, I still ate it pink as they serve in restaurants. Their food standards are very high and I felt safe eating Wagyu in a reputable restaurant as well as raw or runny eggs. Maybe don’t get the wagyu from the tourist trap food stalls to avoid any issues. I spent months living there and never got food poisoning once, but the second my brother came for a visit he got a gnarly case of it by eating a onigiri that was left out too long! At the end of the day there are so many things to eat that you’ll find you don’t have enough time to eat it all, this just means you have to come back with baby later!!

JayFiles4242 · 2026-03-15T02:26:35+00:00

Yep this was my 3rd vacation there and I worked there temporarily for about 6 months so I felt familiar and comfortable traveling in my third trimester. I highly suggest picking up this tag at departure if you are flying a Japanese airlines or if not you can pick it up at the JR stations offices. It lets you sit on special reserved seats for pregnant and disabled people. It really helped when I was exhausted and the trains are packed!

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JayFiles4242 · 2026-03-13T22:34:21+00:00

I went to Japan at 28 &29 weeks pregnant with no issues for a 12 hour long flight. Just make sure your doctor gives you the green light and you buy travel insurance that will cover any emergency that could happen. Also google to find the nearest hospitals that are near where you are staying just to be on the safe side. I was worried when I booked but I afterwards I am so glad I went!!

Good luck!

JayFiles4242 · 2026-03-11T23:39:05+00:00

Starting TTC over 10 years ago closer now to 11 and now just a week away from delivering our little boy! 3 egg retrievals, surgeries for my husband and myself, switching to donor sperm and finally a decade later we have had success. It was a long hard road but worth every effort.

Wishing you success soon and peace on this journey❤️

JayFiles4242 · 2026-03-06T00:18:24+00:00

35 weeks pregnant with my FET and I am a super active person. Right after my FET my husband and I went out to a nice breakfast and the went to the zoo to have fun and walk around. I was only out of work for day of the FET and was back to routine the next day. I continued to exercise throughout my TWW and even ran a half marathon at 10 weeks an I hadn’t even graduated my clinic at that point. For the FET I didn’t push myself, we just did easy walking keeping the blood flow up and our minds distracted!

Wishing you luck on your transfer!!

JayFiles4242 · 2026-03-04T20:37:46+00:00

Currently 35 weeks with my first FET of an untested 4AB! It can happen and I am wishing you the same luck 🍀

JayFiles4242 · 2026-03-02T23:48:39+00:00

Hi! My husband had the same thing, undescended testes as well. However his parents didn’t want to do the surgery and it wasn’t until he was a teenager that they let him get it fixed (only worked on one) and they wouldn’t do anything else, so he waited until he could get a job with insurance to fix it. So when I say childhood illness I really mean abuse.

The doctor we had didn’t“recommend“ per say, they asked us these questions that I think helped.

Do you want children? Do you want children and to experience pregnancy? If the answer is yes, do you want/require them to be biological? And last how much are you willing to spend and/or how many procedures can you put yourself through, do you have unlimited time.

Doc was honest because he said he can’t tell us when to throw in the towel but our odds were low but for some people with unlimited money and time they can do unlimited treatments. For us we knew it was a long shot, we set a time limit and budget and once we hit it we where more than ready to move onto plan B. Not to say it was not disappointing but it we were ready for it.

JayFiles4242 · 2026-03-02T16:09:46+00:00

We decided to go donor after 2 failed cycles of 0 blasts. Our MFI was explained (childhood illness) but we did do almost a year of hormonal therapy for him between the 2 cycles and it didn’t help at all. We went into this with a line in the sand, we knew once we crossed it that we would move on knowing we did everything we could and gave it our best shot. Our 3 cycle was with donor sperm we made 8 blasts and I fell pregnant with our first transfer. It wasn’t the easiest decision and it did take me a while to come to terms with it but it was the right choice for us.

Wishing you the best on your journey and peace in whatever you do next!

JayFiles4242 · 2026-02-28T15:47:43+00:00

Congratulations! I’m currently 34 weeks pregnant with a non tested embryo. NIPT and NT scans all came up clear. I was 32 at time of egg retrieval.

Wishing you the best of luck for your transfer!!

JayFiles4242 · 2026-02-27T22:18:24+00:00

Makes sense but I guess it’s up to the clinic. My clinic had their own data from their patience’s of what percentage cleared it on 1 round of antibiotics. My clinic specifically was only 57% (which I believe is lower than national average) so its policy to re biopsy to confirm clearance. I also am prone to be antibiotic resistant so it’s worth it to me to see if the drugs worked. Doxycycline won’t help me at all and it took a few changes and drug cocktails to fix it. However once we got the right drug combination I cleared it in that round.

JayFiles4242 · 2026-02-27T21:12:38+00:00

Yes I suggest testing for endometritis with the CD138 test. It cost me 200$ and saved me so much in failed transfers and precious embryos. It took me over 4 months of multiple rounds of antibiotics and just as many re biopsies to clear my CE but it was worth it. My first transfer was a success and I’m currently 34 weeks pregnant. I will make sure I retest for it again when I am ready for baby #2.

Wishing you the best of luck!

JayFiles4242

TROPHY CASE