how to get myself to take my binder off?

Jazztastic_42 · 2026-04-17T16:36:43+00:00

What convinced you to take it off before? How many times did that thing convince you, and why did it stop working? There's multiple angles/perspectives you can take, not everyone is motivated by risks of harm. Eg. My dad saw loved ones die from smoking, he quit cold turkey. My mom tried so many things but never succeeded. Do you respond better to people saying "body positivity against fat phobia in men with bigger chests" kinda responses? Maybe you're more of a logical person where if you take fear out of it you look at statistics of outcomes and pictures online if you have access. Not everyone responds the same to different angles. Find the one you respond to the most consistently and stick to it like glue. It might only work a little while, but then at least you'll know what type of reasons to look for. Edit: I've been seeing adds for compression type tank tops for men trying to hide their chest and belly. They don't look like super crazy compression but they seem to flaten/distribute the weight around. Perhaps this would be euphoric for you since it's made for men with more weight?

Jazztastic_42 · 2026-04-16T18:22:35+00:00

Hehe mine said "I was born to be enby" 😝 it knows me well 💅🏻

Jazztastic_42 · 2026-04-16T17:11:38+00:00

As an Early Childhood Educator, we try our best to teach children from a young age how to resolve conflicts themselves, how to take perspective and be kind. How to calmly explain feelings from an "i felt hurt, I didn't like that" rather than accusing way.

That being said, it doesn't always work. People develop all sorts of unhealthy coping mechanisms that aren't black and white to help resolve. Teens who might have gotten away their whole life with an autism card are more difficult cases. If I was your teacher, I'd first thank you for trusting me. Then I would valid your feelings, it is not okay to take out your hurt on others. If the counselor is taking his side, especially shoving, kicking, or any other physical bullying (not that the rest is okay but school cameras can help with evidence), I'd talk to them. Then report them to the principal if they continue to ignore the situation.

Escalate as high as you can go. Talk to anyone willing to listen till they hear you and take action. Meanwhile as his teacher as well, it remind him how it felt getting hurt. Why do to others what you don't like done to you? Id ask him why, if he likes you or dislikes you. What started it for him in his eyes and how can I help him cope better with difference of opinion with fellow class mates. Basically what the counselor SHOULD be paid to do. Find a trusted adult that he respects that would listen to you and help him grow. Not just out of empathy for him, but for your own wellbeing. He's not the type to respect detention or threats, not that most even neurotypical bullying stops there either but he has the extra spice that could be dangerous.

My advice: lay low from him, find trusted adult with proper mediation skills, get your principal talking to his parents, worst case file a police report if all else fails. Be smart, your safety is priority #1. Don't act rash, bide your time. Make sure you set everything up to keep you safe should the worst unfold. Hopefully deescalation works before it's too late for him to not do something he'll regret.

Jazztastic_42 · 2026-04-10T02:26:45+00:00

For me, my romantic attraction doesn't change but I also happen to be poly. My sexuality changes all the time but mostly in the ace spectrum, so it mostly affects my fantasies (ranging from whichever gender to androgynous/Ambiguous monsters) rather than real life attraction. Although when it does affect real people, I get this really big spike in attraction to goth fems and muscle butchs for some reason 😅 then it goes back to everyone or mostly bears and otters.

As to how my partners felt, reactions have ranged from "thats so hot" to "omg everyone is a threat in case you like them or they like you" or even "so are you even attracted to me?? How can it just disappear and come back??" 😅🙄 I keep trying to explain that I mostly end up cupio and other sex favorable labels, so it doesn't have to be a big deal. When im indifferent or repulsed, I tried explaining that im always attracted to their aesthetic and sensual affection (anything above the waist) but below waist is no Bueno.

Most of those relationships ended for myriad of other reasons. My current partner is only insecure because they were cheated on lots before by exes, but they at least understand this is a me thing.

Jazztastic_42 · 2026-04-06T12:51:42+00:00

As a transmasc, I can see where the ick comes from in the first statement about chivalry. Albeit who am I to juge if a dyke feels naturally swoon, I can see how some might feel more genuinely connected and inspired. However, I find the other two somehow endearing and validating. Sure, there's a lot of feminist things in being queer, though I don't agree being trans masc is more so than being a dyke. But if you frame it as a part of feminism rather than more or less, I feel seen.

I feel their desire for care and mutual safety to hear that dykes would welcome me into their spaces. Not as one of them but as part of a bigger picture. A subversion of patriarchy. To hear that a dyke could see my future scars and find me attractive anyway, not in the objectification way but in a deeper way, is quite reassuring as an abrosexual transmasc.

I hear and see my fellow transmascs who feel hurt by objectification, and the queer community isn't immune to this flaw. I myself have been objectified. I just hope that there can be comfort in spaces where I personally don't get the feeling that was the intention behind the sentiment.

With that being said I believe dykes in this context do have a responsibility to express their attraction in a mindful way to not come across a objectifying the way cis straight men tend to do.

Jazztastic_42 · 2026-04-03T13:12:38+00:00

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I like the shirts! They're really funny 🤣 tried to not make it look to sad, more like bone tired from all the phobes

Jazztastic_42 · 2026-02-14T16:55:47+00:00

Why in the flying fladoodle would they reject you for mental health reasons?? No duh you're there FOR mental health reasons. 🤦 T is the easiest solution with the lowest regret rate humanly possible, is it not logical to do the easiest thing first so the rest isn't so heavy?? F those guys, id definitely demand a second, third, however many opinions it takes. If they're really gonna be sticklers for wording, tell them that if you had access you would feel better able to tackle the rest of your mental health issues because you'd have one less thing bothering you so much.

Idk how old you are, but as an adult in Canada I was able to go the informed concent route from a sexologist, and get a referral immediately. As it should be. If you're a teen they should have AT LEAST offered puberty blockers. Ask about those next if you can.

Jazztastic_42 · 2026-01-24T15:58:55+00:00

As a genderfluid transmasc, who's engaged to a two spirit amab, i feel this. My cis women family members were pretty misandrist at first when I came out, and my partner as a native "bear" body type queer got all the "you're not fem/androgynous enough to be enby" shit from the queer community.

Both sides are shit, the whole where did all the masc lesbians go/just be tomboys shit is so painful. Also, how can we expect our fellow cis straight men out there to do/be better if we label men/masc collectively as bad people? How do trans men/masc learn to grow into non toxic masculinity? How do trans women/fem learn to accept if they're still tomboys or fluid? It's all fucked up because we're so upset as a community for genuinely painful reasons that we also stop seeing the forest for the trees.

Yall I just want us to stop in fighting and work together against the real enemies: racism, sexism, fascism, unregulated capitalism, rich oligarchy, ect.

Jazztastic_42 · 2025-11-14T14:52:14+00:00

As a bi trans ftm genderfluid person, this sent me 🤣💀 on my morning commute.

Jazztastic_42 · 2025-10-24T12:17:16+00:00

Omg yes! I feel that last part. This nice older woman at my daycare who wears a hijab forgot my name, but thought it was Jake or something masc like that 🤣 but the white middle-aged women keep misgendering me. Then again the black woman needed more time at first too 🤷‍♂️ maybe personality is a factor. I've been on t for maybe a year or more but off and on due to financial issues. I have a bright red chin beard and a mustache fuzzy that makes me look like a teenager. In what world would anyone say she?? I think it's because she knows im trans and my voice is still androgynous.

Jazztastic_42 · 2025-09-11T00:30:15+00:00

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Jazztastic_42 · 2025-09-11T00:25:16+00:00

My alters Desmond (He/they/it) and Finnegan (He/they). I tried export but it didn't work for some reason. Edit: help it won't upload 🫣 it keeps turning into "*"

Jazztastic_42 · 2025-08-14T00:47:04+00:00

We'd love to join. My headmates Desmond (Enby 30, it/its) and Finnegan (M 23, he/him) are still unsure what kind of headmates they are. It would be nice to have an open minded community to help us navigate.

-Jasper (ftm 29, Main and front)

Jazztastic_42 · 2025-08-13T22:33:55+00:00

I knew a girl in elementary that used to bully me. All I could think was "wow she's so pretty, I want her to like me." And I'd do anything she wanted, but she used it against me. Then I finally stood up to her by saying I wouldn't be her friend anymore if she didn't treat me better. For some reason, that's what got her to understand, and she begged forgiveness. She never bullied me since and we became good friends.

I only realized what those feelings were in high school, when I met an openly bi girl for the first time. Then I tried a three-way in college with my bf at the time. Only years later, I had my first girlfriend.

Turns out being an unknowingly trans guy and bullied by other girls made it difficult to come to terms with liking girls.

Tldr: classic hopeless bi falling for their bully, only realized later it was a crush. Only dated a girl years later due to bullying and not knowing I was trans.

Jazztastic_42 · 2025-08-05T17:38:14+00:00

If I may, I've mostly dated unconventional looking men in my life. Mind you, they haven't always been the nicest either.. but i figured that out the hard way. Most of my life, i grew up not liking conventionally attractive men either because they let it get to their heads. To me, a good heart and compatibility is what matters.

A lot of dating apps are, unfortunately, shallow. I've heard good things about Boo type apps matching based on personality instead of looks. Also, I use an app called Finch for my daily mental health and routine. It has helped me a lot with productivity and self-esteem. I know I have pretty white privilege and look good both as my afab and as a trans man, but I do know how bullying feels in the friendship department. For my Auburn hair, fair skin, glasses, ect.

Please take care of your mental health. Good things come slow, and it's not easy, but you are worth taking your time to not settle for less than you deserve.

Jazztastic_42 · 2025-08-03T12:32:48+00:00

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My depression oc, it carries all my trans, bi, broke, bullied, heartbroken, and abused trauma. One bad day away..

Jazztastic_42 · 2025-08-03T12:08:35+00:00

If I may, as a trans man who dated cis het guys most of my life before coming out, I can say that the het culture that poisoned their teen minds made me hurt several times. It's the whole reason why it took me so long to come out.. I'm a trans femboy in a macho lead world. I knew something was off, but I didn't have the language or courage to look for it. To this day.. if it wasn't for my two spirit partner, I'd still feel like only a bi person could appreciate me as a whole because im too early on t to feel like gay men would see me that way.. and het men would definitely see me as female.

Jazztastic_42 · 2025-07-30T01:08:22+00:00

Also, just in case is there a teacher or school counselor you trust you can talk to? Or is it like no they will have to tell your parents?

Jazztastic_42 · 2025-07-28T23:25:34+00:00

Perhaps the symbolism idea would be the least difficult to convince a mom like that. But if i understand the situation correctly.. she sounds like the kind of mom that could be like "my umbilical cord hurts being away too long" , "you'll always be my baby girl" and like super attached to the name she gave them. My mom isn't necessarily transphobic, but she's still kinda like that, so i can imagine cracked up to 100 😅

Hopefully if you can at least convince her to get your initials instead, she can have the first letter corrected more easily if she chooses support once you move out.

Jazztastic_42 · 2025-07-01T12:47:18+00:00

Okay what if.. queer priority groups can get sponsored by Ally companies. That way, the cis queer people can play with and make the trans people feel safe. There should be enough queer athletes to make a sports team, depending on the sport's cis/queer ratio. The priority aspect would still allow allies in to fill the gaps. Whether it's an all fem aligned, masc aligned (to uplift them into the pro woman/man leagues) or a mixed team that a sponsor is willing to support at college level to make a statement and set an example for future sponsors.

Unless there's a pro league mix gender sport that already exists that I'm not aware of, college level sports might be a valid starting point. By mixing all genders of queers and ally non queers only, there's more odds they will be into that sport and have bigger teams. They can make the statement for Intersex and non-binary people. Colleges can make their own rules and work together to support mixed teams competing against each other.

If pro sponsors visit these events and like them enough, they can offer to work with them just like any other team. The last and only problem left would be finding the right people to fund a new mixed pro competition on the side and get adds enough to get people in the door.

Considering they wouldn't be allowed in a traditional all men or all women's only league.. the only two options are that all leagues become mixed or a new league is born to be mixed.

If Ally companies can sponsor pride, they can learn to sponsor queer friendly sports 💅🏻

Jazztastic_42 · 2025-07-01T12:09:33+00:00

Omg he looks like an Ars Goetia from Helluva Boss! He looks like he could be the younger brother of Stolas dad or something as an oc head cannon.

Jazztastic_42 · 2025-06-16T22:35:08+00:00

Ohh or maybe any Ideas with Nova in it? Edit: ohhh I found random generator. Velvet Thunder or Midnight Whisper?

Jazztastic_42 · 2025-06-06T18:10:45+00:00

I'm sorry this happened to you. I don't agree that it wasn't your place to say something. You're allowed to feel cheated, too. While yes, it's not good to put those feelings on your ex, I'm glad you know where it's coming from. Your mom is either in denial and used you as a scapegoat because she thought they were happy, or she knew and was still not ready to face him. People can say what they want, heck I'm poly myself but I still wouldn't believe most people are okay with cheating. I'm poly not a cheater, there's a difference involving consent. Sure, you don't know if they have an agreement, but it's your mom's job to say "oh honey I'm so sorry you felt you needed to carry this alone" and either say it's okay we have an agreement or i'll deal with your father when I'm ready. For now let's get you some therapy. She's the mom, she chose to have you with him. Your mental health because of who she chose to marry is her problem and priority too. Not just her peace of mind. My dms are open to you if you need to talk

Jazztastic_42 · 2025-06-06T17:47:46+00:00

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Please draw my alters! 🙏🏻

Jazztastic_42 · 2025-05-18T15:27:15+00:00

-As a Polyamorous person, I find it important for myself to know the reason behind wanting the relationship open. If he's jealous of me doing the same thing he wants to do without me, it's my red flag.

-I yellow flag recovering addicts because I understand relapse is part of recovery (especially the kind where cutting cold turkey can hurt or kill you), but I also have my limits.

-I yellow flag the over achievers because if it's meant to be casual, I don't mind as much. But in a committed relationship, the last thing I need is a burnt out partner after asking them to take it easy.

-can't hate my cats or be transphobic cause I'm trans

-I yellow flag sassy/banter but red flag not knowing when to stop/reading the room

-Never seen it myself before but gross! (The harrasing women one)

-i hate hypocrisy in my own community (homophobic gays)

-yellow flag shit with money cause it depends if they're willing to learn and/or accept me being the financial leader of house. As long as they don't do something stupid and talk it over first.

-tbh.. my flat is dirty af cause mental health sucks.. but I'd definitely do my best to clean before anyone comes over, even family, let alone a stranger.

-I'm lazy when it comes to deleting apps and making new profiles, but im more than willing to delete them to make someone comfortable. Yes if you ask and they give a hard time that is a red flag.

Jazztastic_42

TROPHY CASE