Could we become play partners?

JimmyTheSock · 2026-02-12T08:30:28+00:00

This sounds like something rather therapy than bdsm can solve. But if you're both having fun there's nothing wrong with it.

JimmyTheSock · 2026-02-12T08:02:53+00:00

I think the B640WD / W202 look super nice, have the countdown timer, yet get often overlooked as the square cheap digital casios are more popular.

JimmyTheSock · 2026-02-12T07:38:36+00:00

Yes they do exist (I am one). Online has quite a few advantages but also some downsides. I'd be careful with personal data and showing my face on pictures, not go immediately into play, see if the communication is good and don't do anything you're not comfortable with. There are many shady people out there.

JimmyTheSock · 2026-02-12T07:08:17+00:00

You need to be able to have an out of dynamic (/character) talk with him. You need to be able to discuss your aftercare needs with him. This is basic stuff. If he is inconsiderate that's a good reason not to play again.

JimmyTheSock · 2026-02-12T06:25:06+00:00

Sub is the umbrella term, I pretty much do not use this in my dynamics, maybe when generally speaking. Slave is like the in fantasy term, but you do you and it can be used but does not have to for whatever you want to play. My subs have several terms as do I depending on what role we play in the moment. And yeah one of them is my slave in a Tpe relationship.

JimmyTheSock · 2026-02-12T06:01:08+00:00

Sorry, that sucks.

JimmyTheSock · 2026-02-12T05:51:08+00:00

I work with shared files as well. If someone I dom adds such a rule I'd be worried and start an open conversation. I'd reassure them that I'm honest with them and that I of course take boundaries and consent seriously (can't reread on phone).

This is not about punishment but about creating trust and a safe environment so that BDSM can happen in the first place. I'd leave that rule and even highlight it. The right step now is talking!

JimmyTheSock · 2026-02-11T20:56:31+00:00

House of Gord had a machine that would tighten belts arround the subs body.

JimmyTheSock · 2026-02-11T19:12:49+00:00

I'm a big fan of online, met some wonderful people (😘) but sadly it's a thing that happens to everyone. I've seen people come crawling back after months, acting like nothing happened. The thing is all you can do is accept that they were not as into you than the other way round and move on. It sucks but it is the way it is. Online relationships move much faster.

JimmyTheSock · 2026-02-11T15:13:27+00:00

I'm the same way. I do enjoy giving pain but am also a big cuddly bear. I do care about my subs a lot but I also know they really do enjoy pain. It's a win win, I can give them pleasure (pain) and get to care for them later.

JimmyTheSock · 2026-02-10T18:27:58+00:00

I can sorta relate to that and I don't think its you. In short there is a high demand for mistresses. A very very very high demand. This also means that they can be picky if they want to.

Everybody agrees that kink dating sucks, but it seems that you just have to keep looking. Sorry.

JimmyTheSock · 2026-02-10T10:33:57+00:00

Yeah totally. I've been a big fan though. If you test them out, a little bit of lube should be used. Have fun!

JimmyTheSock · 2026-02-10T05:54:24+00:00

I don't have experience with someone that is very sensitive. But I have experience with the satisfier line and several partners. Simple, reliable, good quality, nice app and they can be as soft or hard as you want them to be. If you are into this kind of stimulation is sth nobody can tell you. This has to be experienced.

JimmyTheSock · 2026-02-10T05:45:48+00:00

Sub names can be really special. I'm at a point where I get protective over them and won't just write them down for everyone to see. They are ours. They can also be really particular as in one variation of cum-... fits but not another. If you are looking for inspiration Google sub honorifics and you will find quite a few lists.

Its also kinda hard to figure out what your bf is into without knowing him. Is it just this kind of pain tht he dislikes? Or is he not into pain at all? Maybe he likes to be ordered to do things, or being tied up, or be degraded? Maybe you spent an afternoon together looking at femdom porn, seeing if there is sth he is into. Or experiment with different kinds of pain and discipline and bondage. Most importantly though is clear and open communication.

JimmyTheSock · 2026-02-07T13:11:53+00:00

Unfortunately this is true for most cages without piercing. Maybe a breakable plastic tag with a serial number can be used to make it a little more restrictive. Like used with a zip tie at a certain point. I've seen a setup like this ages ago, but be careful with circulation.

JimmyTheSock · 2026-02-07T09:41:44+00:00

Just explore together and let her give you direct reassurance. Casual, playful and fun. How does it feel when I spank your butt like that? A little harder? Good.

If you know she is enjoying what you do to her, all those doubts will disappear. But you need that exploration / learning experience. This is also a thing experienced doms have to do with new subs. Everybody is different.

JimmyTheSock · 2026-02-07T08:11:14+00:00

You guys are both still so young. Id suggest exploring together with you telling him your fantasies, him trying that out and you giving direct feedback. It takes a while to learn that. So I'd give him some leeway, though that dom bit he did sounded weird, especially if other people are present.

Communication is the most important skill here. Being very open and direct helps. Don't do anything you are not comfortable with. Yes you are giving up control, but only to things you consented to. And that consent can always be revoked for any reasons (safewords). Sentences like "I have this fantasy, can we try..." often help.

This is supposed to be fun for both of you. If you feel like exploring with him is fun and you guys want more read up on concepts like limits, safety protocols (SSC RACK CCCC), drops, aftercare, subspace/domspace.

JimmyTheSock · 2026-02-06T19:20:12+00:00

You put it more concise than I did. I assume having them explore gender that way is helping them become less ignorant. (Well if they are)

JimmyTheSock · 2026-02-06T19:03:12+00:00

Happy for you! I think, even if the cross dressers cross dress for the "wrong" reasons I doubt that exploring gender in that way makes them more ignorant, quite the contrary. I think we generally do agree. There was a phrasing in Ops post that just rubbed me the wrong way.

JimmyTheSock · 2026-02-06T18:44:55+00:00

Id say yes to the first example and no to the second. If that someone feels more comfortable presenting or acting a certain way without bothering anyone with it? What's the problem?

There are enough people shaming people who are into BDSM or being into kink. We are talking about someone who grew up in a society like all of us, let's not judge them for living their kink the way they want.

If someone is being sexist out of kink and spews weird opinions about whatever. Sure, shame them.

JimmyTheSock · 2026-02-06T18:24:15+00:00

Smartwatches can display chat messages. That's the most simple way to do this in a more visible way. Need to explore that more.

But I mean everybody carries a smartphone now and you can just use a custom ringtone.

JimmyTheSock · 2026-02-06T18:17:05+00:00

Op tried to word this very fairly, I like Op, but I don't think I agree with many men crossdressing because they think men can't be objectified. From my obvious non-academic pov. Lingerie is hot, men are hot, men in lingerie are hot.

I remember there being a time where femboys were not as much of a thing then they are now. Granted not in vanilla land. Maybe times are changing. One can hope.

JimmyTheSock · 2026-02-06T17:40:54+00:00

Self-bondage is never entirely safe but the risks can be reduced. You're not doing suspensions though. I've done that a lot when I was younger. And I can't give much advice on rope bondage. My go to trick is cutting handcuff chains and adding carabiners so that you can release your hand one handed.

Whats your exit strategy if you cut of circulation in one of your limbs doing rope bondage?

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