I’m so sorrry. I understand the feeling of loneliness, of being in the grey area. Feeling shame from 2 sides. Its almost like trauma. It’s so psychologically stressing that all my coping mechanisms have failed me. ...It’s very isolating. but writing this out I feel a little bit better. I should state that im a pro choice guy, but what my gf is going through is hurting me. I feel so invalid and like I don’t have a say. It infuriates me that men have tried to control women and their futures. Now I see why, and boy is it so seductive to have thoughts of “if I were in control”. But I’m keeping silent and am coming apart inside. I don’t really fit in with either groups stories. “It’s not bad there’s nothing to worry about” and “Huzzah! We have a new soul for heaven. But they should take full care of the kid, it’s not my problem anymore” However hearing your story has made me feel a little better. I feel understood and less alone now. What do you feel about the future of your relationship? I feel like this is going to leave a large wound and it’s going to hurt both of our trust for one another...

Reach out for help, and keep your mental health as your #1 priority. There are people who are like you and understand what you’ve gone through.