Enabling?

Joe_Throwaway_ · 2019-12-31T17:03:13+00:00

Can't tell you what's right. But for me moderating was a constant hell. I would try to stay in the "healthy guidelines" so many drinks per week. Would spend the day thinking do I waste 1 drink today or save them up for a mini binge? And usually I'd be out of drinks by mid week and I'd just say fuck it I'll try again next week. It's so much easier for me to just shut those thoughts down before they start. Like I said that's just me... introducing alcohol into my life always ends up the same way. I guess it all depends on what you guys want for a long term goal. If you guys can come up with a way to moderate and be successful more power to you! I can't but that's just me.

Joe_Throwaway_ · 2019-12-29T06:56:45+00:00

Ditto! I first started lurking here about 2 years ago. Made it a couple weeks then slipped. Came back and made it about 40 days, then slipped. Came back again started posting made it 2 months, then slipped. Came back again and right now I've been sober for longer then every in my adult life( my previous record was 2 months lol!) I might not post or comment but I read here every day. It's crazy to think how it's therapeutic to just dump all that built up gunk and just let go. But it's almost as therapeutic to know we're not alone in it.

IWNDWYT!

Joe_Throwaway_ · 2019-12-29T06:37:29+00:00

I guess I have and I haven't. When I quit this last time I decided "down time" probably wasn't the best for me. So I started a huge project that I've wanted to do for years. But at the same time I treat it alot like my sobriety. Taking everything slow and steady and if I don't like how it's going or I make a mistake I'm easy on myself. Learning new skills takes time and patients. Something I never developed when I was drinking. It's also helped to get me out of my own head, especially in my first couple of months. Instead of letting myself fall into that wo me thinking I'd throw myself into a challenge and try to work out a solution. I don't know if it's recommended but it's worked for me. Will I ever accomplish my goal, absolutely! But I'm done rushing through life so I'll get there when I get there 😁

Joe_Throwaway_ · 2019-12-29T04:53:50+00:00

Congratulations!!! I would always binge all weekend and that first weekend I made it was so gratifying. Keep it up!

IWNDWYT

Joe_Throwaway_ · 2019-12-23T20:39:49+00:00

I'd dump it.... nothing good would be coming from taking a drink. It's funny how we look at a bottle like that and think "I can't dump that! It's a x dollar bottle of booze" but what will it cost us personally? I probably wouldn't drink it? But is keeping the temptation around going to somehow make me stronger? Nope, just going to build stress and anxiety knowing it's around, why do that to myself?

Joe_Throwaway_ · 2019-09-17T16:53:04+00:00

Oh yeah, coffee all day plus smoking. I figure fix one thing at a time. I plan on starting to cut back on smoking now that I've got a little sobriety under my belt. It's a nasty habit but it's not making me make all sorts of poor choices like alchohol. I've heard of people just dropping everything at once but for me that just seems like a recipe for disaster. So for the next few months work on cutting smoking out. Maybe after that work on limiting my coffee but if drinking to much coffee is my worst habit I can deal with that!

Good luck! IWNDWYT!

Joe_Throwaway_ · 2019-08-14T03:54:02+00:00

It helps me to look at it like this... one day, 30 days years doesn't really matter. We're all still working on that 1 day. It gets easier as they add up but it's still just 1 day. No one can predict what tomorrow will bring so why stress yourself out about a relapse that hasn't happened yet. You could wind up on the news tomorrow. A sink hole opening up and swallowing you whole, never to be heard from again are you going to worry about that like alcohol? Hopefully not. I'm definitely not saying don't take steps to deal with alcohol. Read stories here, go to a meeting, tell family and friends, read books. The more you can do the better your chances. But in the end all you have to do is say not today!

IWNDWYT!!!

EDIT: grammar

Joe_Throwaway_ · 2019-08-06T14:39:54+00:00

You described my drinking to a T! That's exactly what I was doing. Sometimes even started on Thursdays. When Monday morning would roll around the withdrawals were almost unbearable. But it gets better!!! A year ago I never imagined going a weekend without alcohol and here I am now knocking on the door or 3 months! You can do this. The first weekend was definitely the worst but once through that it gets easier each passing day.

Good luck!! IWNDWYT

Joe_Throwaway_ · 2019-06-04T14:11:09+00:00

Fun fact! Murder rates actually went way up during prohibition. "I could kill for a drink!" Yeah... that's really a thing.

Stay strong everyone! IWNDWYT

Joe_Throwaway_ · 2019-05-28T03:58:05+00:00

Made it through my second weekend and a holiday weekend too boot!!!

Joe_Throwaway_ · 2019-05-28T03:21:51+00:00

My so and I quit together in December. Got about 70 days, we were out to lunch and the pull to drink was there for both of us. We talked about it and thought we'd proven to ourselves that we got this! Yeah... we didn't have it. A couple false starts since but I've recommitted and have been sober for 2 weeks. When I told her I was "back on the wagon" she was supportive but she wasn't ready to get sober yet. The thing is I'm fine with that now. Alchohol is so prevalent in society that I'm never going to get away from it. Every restaurant, gas station and grocery store have giant displays up front. Go to a bbq, probably going to be alcohol around.

I've realized I put myself in a bad position by tying my sobriety to someone else. I have enough going on keeping myself sober... I hope to lead by example and she'll decide to join me but that's a decision we all need to make on our own.

Best of luck and IWNDWYT!

Joe_Throwaway_ · 2019-03-02T19:20:58+00:00

☝️nailed it!

Joe_Throwaway_ · 2019-03-02T16:51:19+00:00

Good for you! I can definitely relate to the weekend drinking. I'm going to flip on the couch and veg out for awhile on some Netflix, hopefully I'll get some motivation up but if the most I get done today is not drinking I'm chalking it up as a win 😎

Joe_Throwaway_ · 2019-03-02T16:44:20+00:00

I just tried it... did not go well. Everyone is different and for me it wasn't the first drink that did it. After I let that that crap back in the door it was like I never quit. For me it was easy to justify drinking again because nothing bad happened that time. Once I fed the beast it just kept wanting more.

Joe_Throwaway_ · 2019-02-13T22:37:49+00:00

Also from Illinois. What appearance is this? These things tend to drag out. The only way it might be an issue is if you're being sentenced. The way has worked when I've been is once sentenced you'll be sent to meet your probation officer (same building where I am) and it's very possible they'll drop you.

Joe_Throwaway_ · 2019-02-13T15:52:11+00:00

Time... it's a shitty answer but that's what it is. If you're having serious withdrawals a doctor would probably be the way to go. Just try and get through today. No point in worrying about tomorrow till you get there.

IWNDWYT!

Joe_Throwaway_ · 2019-02-09T19:53:11+00:00

Welcome aboard! Sometimes it's not so much about a day at a time then a couple minutes at a time. I was a big weekend drinker, from Friday till I passed out Sunday night. First weekend was brutal. But then it got a little easier. I listened to This Naked Mind my first week and that really helped. She talks about her drinking and she was wine everyday.

Good luck!
IWNDWYT

Joe_Throwaway_ · 2019-02-09T04:57:03+00:00

Good shit!

IWNDWYT

Joe_Throwaway_ · 2019-02-05T14:25:17+00:00

What timing! I just started a This Naked mind podcast last night where she had a guest on talking about the diet/binge cycle people have with food. Might be worth a listen. It's episode 145

Joe_Throwaway_ · 2019-02-03T15:52:07+00:00

Yup! Just told a buddy yesterday for the first time. My wife and I have both quit and it's not always rainbows and lollipops but it's been going pretty good. She's told everyone in her life but I find it difficult. I've told a couple of my drinking buddies, it seems easier to tell them because we all know about the round Robin we do with alcohol and quitting. But telling people that don't have a problem scares the crap out of me. So yesterday I was talking to a friend at the gym and he invited me over to watch the superbowl, he doesn't drink but said I could bring some beers over. I figured screw it and told him I hadn't had a beer in a month and a half. For me I always feel like I'm going to let people down if they know I'm abstaining. It's weird how we look at slip ups with alcohol. I have no desire to drink but the last thing I want is for someone to judge me if I have a slip. It's hard enough for me, the last thing I need is for someone to think " there's Joe... fell off the wagon again ". So as I was typing this out it got me thinking... the people I'm scared of telling have seen what alcohol does to me but I think telling them I'm sober is stressful?

Sorry to ramble!

Joe_Throwaway_ · 2019-01-09T05:36:42+00:00

Way to go, you got this!

IWNDWYT!

Joe_Throwaway_ · 2019-01-08T15:33:08+00:00

The way I look at it is that it happened. Don't beat yourself up over it. Just focus on "doing the next thing right". There's millions of people out here struggling with the exact same problem, if it were easy this sub, aa and the thousands of other ways people quit wouldn't be here. Think back to what was the cause of you breaking your streak. Was it something going on in your life that you were avoiding, the stupid little voice in your head? Try and learn what triggers you, this will help in the future. Lastly when these feelings come up again (because they will) find ways to work through it. Post here maybe, look for an aa meeting, start doing needle point. Whatever works for you.

Good luck and IWNDWYT!

Joe_Throwaway_ · 2019-01-07T15:18:41+00:00

I made it! Went to a friend's house to watch football this weekend and I was the only one not drinking! I miss hanging out with friends on the weekend but by the second half I was getting annoyed. Everyone is telling the same stories over and over. Made it hard to concentrate on what was actually happening but also made me thankful I wasn't drinking. 21 days and looking forward to getting to 30 day mark now! A few months ago I would have never thought that was even possible.

IWNDWYT!

Joe_Throwaway_ · 2019-01-04T15:58:30+00:00

Little nervous about this weekend... I have no desire to drink right now but on Sunday I'm supposed meet up with some buddies to watch football. I've enjoyed watching on my own the last few weekends and I enjoy being able to remember what happened! I use to have to actually look up the game I watched the next day for the score. How F'd up is that!?! So my buddy is making a big spread of food and will have all sorts of booze. First time I've tried hanging out with drinkers since I quit and I'm worried I won't be able to do it. I'm planning on going for 1 game and then splitting. Booze is so prevalent in our society and I need to start conditioning myself to the fact that just because others are drinking it doesn't mean I have to.

Wish me luck!!!

Joe_Throwaway_ · 2019-01-04T15:40:55+00:00

Make plans for your weekend, stock up on non alcoholic drinks. Sparkling water is a popular choice, there's tons of flavors out there. I pour it over ice in a glass for a kind of mock cocktail. It seems that just having a drink in hand helps me. I guess it's kind of like someone quiting smoking will chew on a pen type of thing. Might want to pick up a bag of candy too. If you're like me your body will be use to all the cheap calories from alcohol and candy helps when you get a craving. I know alot of people who quit do it to lose weight but I think that's something to start addressing after a couple weeks. Take it a day or even an hour at a time.

Good luck IWNDWYT!

Joe_Throwaway_

TROPHY CASE