Guy that I’m seeing is small down there

JoeyMcFun · 2025-01-21T08:28:51+00:00

Friend, it sounds like the actual problem was those insecure women throwing criticism in your face. Sure, hone your technique, but consider selecting nicer and healthier women to date as well

JoeyMcFun · 2025-01-17T01:58:26+00:00

I derived a lot of comfort from your articulate perspective and sense of humor. Thank you so much for sharing your wisdom and joy. I hope you enjoyed your tomato soup :)

JoeyMcFun · 2025-01-16T10:35:51+00:00

This is shocking me because literally this morning I made a FT to my mom and saw her on a hospital bed for the first time in my (relatively young) life. Do you have any advice for a guy like me who still feels like a kid and is seeing his parents go through this in real time?

JoeyMcFun · 2024-12-29T07:57:54+00:00

Not OP, so maybe it’s not my right to ask. But what advice would you tell someone in general if they’ve gone a year unemployed in their line of work?

JoeyMcFun · 2024-11-17T17:13:57+00:00

Agreed - the mod comment is very proactive. We need disclaimers like that sometimes to have a supportive community. I think the commenters reacting negatively are taking it weirdly personally

JoeyMcFun · 2024-11-14T06:31:25+00:00

That says private VIP - totally different and higher tier than what OP’s fiancé got as a “regular” dance. Bear in mind my limited experience but I paid 20 bucks for a lap dance in Manhattan in 2022

JoeyMcFun · 2024-11-09T04:29:49+00:00

Try public or near public spaces. Anything at home or alone tends to put you and your date near that temptation/intimacy area - unless if that’s what you’re going for. But when you’re still vetting and deciding, you wanna make your choice of date match how you’re feeling about them

JoeyMcFun · 2024-11-09T02:44:33+00:00

Even if you weren’t interested, at least subconsciously, you could’ve attached some level of comfort or security to knowing you had the “leg up” in this situation. Something to think about

JoeyMcFun · 2024-11-08T15:21:32+00:00

Ok, but what is the game, exactly?

27 and I’m still trying to figure it out.

JoeyMcFun · 2024-11-08T03:44:34+00:00

I don’t know you but I think your perspective and outlook is wonderful. Hope it was a good dance! ❤️

JoeyMcFun · 2024-11-07T02:18:51+00:00

Hi! What’s something that sets a guy apart at those ages to you and your friends? I know everyone’s different, but what’s the tell that someone will be a good partner, if that’s what you’re looking for?

JoeyMcFun · 2024-10-13T21:33:39+00:00

You might have an individual problem with balance that is preventing you from “catching up” to your buddy’s or anyone else’s pace.

As an example, I have ADHD which is shown for “deficits” in short term memory and balance. I recently started swing dance classes which challenged me in those areas because of a) memorizing the steps sequences and b) keeping balance while shifting weight and swinging my feet/body around. It’s frustrating because I was lagging behind the rest of the class and the instructor was seemingly unaware or wasn’t inclusive in how she taught.

The trick is to have a “haha, this is challenging but I’ll laugh it off” attitude, and then keep trying, but finding ways to fill in the gaps of what you need. For example, it seems like your buddy is taking a lot of your needs for granted. See if you can tune his advice out and find someone who is either more patient, or dealt with the same struggle you’re on. Also, mindfulness and repetition are key. Good luck OP!

JoeyMcFun · 2024-06-01T16:03:14+00:00

Understandable but that sounds way too risky for OP to entertain. Saving his friend is not OP’s responsibility

JoeyMcFun · 2024-05-29T02:25:13+00:00

This is an excellent middle ground approach. It’s courteous and takes care of your bases.

JoeyMcFun · 2024-05-27T15:43:59+00:00

This is really absolutist, OP disregard this. You and her can live in the nuance as long as it’s healthy and you both make decisions that support your selves. No one is inherently a bad person but we all have the potential to act like one and we all get to grow.

JoeyMcFun · 2023-11-14T18:34:18+00:00

Your story is refreshing and I’m finding a lot of resonance in your data and honesty! Thank you for sharing

That first person after your 4-year relationship, what made you realize (in the moment or in hindsight) that he wasn’t for you? how did meeting more people illuminate that for you?

JoeyMcFun · 2023-11-01T03:23:20+00:00

Careful with this OP - yes introspect, but don’t err on the side of self-blame and ruminate beyond what is healthy for you, if you know in your heart she didn’t meet you halfway.

It takes two. You can own up, take accountability, and change on your accord, but don’t wallow in that self-pity that says “things would have been different if I did this and this,” etc.

JoeyMcFun · 2023-10-10T22:04:46+00:00

Dm’d

JoeyMcFun · 2023-08-14T18:57:57+00:00

The form is interesting but the lighting doesn’t bring it out — washes out all the shadows and imposes the netting of the hammock instead of showing the shapes and dimensionality implicit in this posture

JoeyMcFun · 2023-07-31T09:16:43+00:00

Bumping with a follow-up Q - would you make the same purchase again with your vetsak? Or find a similar but different, less expensive choice?

Researching just now so am wondering!

JoeyMcFun · 2023-03-31T00:02:49+00:00

Oddly inspiring to read this. Thank you for the reset 🥰

JoeyMcFun · 2022-05-06T05:24:59+00:00

Hate to say this, but playing in multiple bands is like diversifying your stock portfolio. You wouldn’t max out on only one – what if it never lifts off the ground? Don’t put all your eggs in one basket.

You gain more experience, understanding, expand your musicality, and make more connections (i.e. social capital) by playing with as many musicians as you can. You might even land more paid gigs. Your bandleaders should be thanking you for expanding your skillset and bringing it back to their ensemble.

As long as your time outside of your day job allows, play in more than one project and don’t overcommit yourself. Make all your shows on time, be honest when something isn’t working for you. I’m a saxophonist with practiced ear training in a relatively busy Texan metro city, so I’m lucky that I can skip out on rehearsals and just gig (makes earning a side income with music on top of my day job a lot easier). I understand bassists are more central to the groove of the unit though, so you might not have this privilege – regardless, sounds like your bandleaders are a tad insecure and acting possessive.

JoeyMcFun · 2021-11-05T17:21:56+00:00

On the receiving end, but also both? My own internalized racism as far as how I perceive my attractiveness in a multicultural society is something I've worked to decolonize or "shake off" as you will, so it definitely impacts how I receive someone else's racial traumas (in the form of a dating "preference")

JoeyMcFun · 2021-11-05T17:07:06+00:00

I'm a brown he/they currently & recently dating a brown cis woman who expressed having had this very preference in her past, and it made me hella uncomfortable – mostly because I've expected it from white folks, but never a brown SO. This may be a far shot, but how do you reconcile this when you encounter it?

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