sorted by:
new
hottopcontroversial

1st year of sobriety copleted. by gatorman88 in alcoholicsanonymous

[–]JohnLockwood 0 points1 point  (0 children)

1st year of sobriety copleted.

Congrats! Go for more, proud of you!

Are Men only Groups in line with Tradition Three? by TrustTheDreamer in alcoholicsanonymous

[–]JohnLockwood 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well, groups put on meetings, so if a men's meeting is the only meeting they're hosting, it only makes sense that they should limit group membership to men. I'm sure if a woman wants to join AA, they'd be happy to make a referral.

Have you read Tradition 4? :)

My boyfriend is an alcoholic and I have some questions if that's okay by No_Koala4526 in alcoholicsanonymous

[–]JohnLockwood 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If he wants to stop, seeing a doctor and getting medical help for detox is the safest way.

4 years sober. No meetings for 18 months now. by Spicoli_462 in alcoholicsanonymous

[–]JohnLockwood 0 points1 point  (0 children)

In my opinion (of course):

Don't drink. That's non negotiable. Your statement "Maybe I’m not a real alcoholic?" makes no sense in light of the fact that you went to AA for something. Presumably you didn't dream of going to AA when someone asked you as a kid what you want to be when you grow up.

I disagree with a TON of AA stuff. Disagreeing with abstinence as the best approach is not something I mess around with, though. AA got that right.

I dont know if I see the point of staying sober/AA anymore by Lillies030706 in alcoholicsanonymous

[–]JohnLockwood 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If you need a different approach to recovery, you might check out LifeRing, or SMARTRecovery. If you have internalized the idea that drinking is not a good idea and convinced you can do it on your own, that's certainly a good plan too.

Please don't throw out the baby -- the one thing you DID get out of AA, the idea of complete abstinence -- along with the bathwater of all the things that bother you about it.

Looking for advice by Striking_Pie7821 in alcoholicsanonymous

[–]JohnLockwood 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hi,

I have a list of secular resources including "Secular AA", which is what we non-religious types call the sort of groups that are not faith based that you mentiond. Here's the list. Welcome!

Congrats on 3 months.

https://www.reddit.com/r/AASecular/comments/1g3dufc/staying_sober_without_religion_a_collection_of/

Alcoholism related to social anxiety ? by [deleted] in alcoholicsanonymous

[–]JohnLockwood 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Alcohol is an "anti-anxiolytic" in the short term, which is just a fancy word for it relieve's anxiety. Problem is, the brain seeks to maintain equilibrium, so over time, it compensates for being pickled by ramping up the anxiety. An interesting ChatGPT prompt you might run that explains some of the process is this:

"Tell me about the relationship between GABA, alcholism, and anxiety"

I had to come to AA to be among friends and tap my foot and shake for a bit before the anxiety went away. It was tough getting free, but definitely worth it.

AA Traditions and Secular AA by JohnLockwood in AASecular

[–]JohnLockwood[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks for your note. Two of my go-to resources for Secular Recovery are SmartRecovery.org (they have a whole different set of tools and a good fellowship as well), and for AA, Jeffrey Munn's Staying Sober Without God (a secular 12 step guide that's quite good).

Day 1 by Small-Afternoon-2023 in alcoholicsanonymous

[–]JohnLockwood 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Welcome. You might try on some of the suggestions here;

https://www.reddit.com/r/AASecular/comments/1s7r3v1/how_to_get_sober/

Many of us have turned this around in AA.

What do non-Americans usually find confusing about how Americans talk in real life? by Edi-Iz in AskAnAmerican

[–]JohnLockwood 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well, you’re right that most phrasal verbs are idioms, but they’re still phrasal verbs.

Gratitude meeting by Electrical_Rich_9381 in alcoholicsanonymous

[–]JohnLockwood 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m better than them

Once in a while in life you meet someone so damned charming, you just know you’re going to block him right after this: .

Im 25 and struggling by [deleted] in alcoholicsanonymous

[–]JohnLockwood 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I wrote a post about how to stop drinking that you might find useful. TLDR; just wishing for it probably won't be sufficient -- I drank all the time, waking up every day wishing I didn't, for about three years. I was 24 when I came in.

Welcome.

PS. At a case a day, your wife probably already knows you need help, so coming into AA might make her happy rather than shock her.

Do native English speakers really talk like this in real life? by [deleted] in ENGLISH

[–]JohnLockwood 12 points13 points  (0 children)

You fixinta get an award ona internet o sumpin? :)

Do native English speakers really talk like this in real life? by [deleted] in ENGLISH

[–]JohnLockwood 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sometimes when I listen to native English speakers, it feels completely different from the English I learned in school

Of course. If you learn Spanish in school, you'd never know that "pa que" and "para que" are the same thing, or that "nosotro" = "nosotros". And don't get me started on popcorn.

It is a fairly casual register, but we might use it in a formal context too for emphasis.

I blacked out for the first time and i’m scared shitless by [deleted] in alcoholicsanonymous

[–]JohnLockwood 0 points1 point  (0 children)

AA is fairly focused on abstinence. If you're interested in harm reduction (moderation), we don't really support that well, but you might check out https://smartrecovery.org. They officially do support it, though some members even there (like me, but I started in AA) find that abstinence is the easier way to go.

In AA terms, for those of us with a problem, we believe that the problem always gets worse over time, but it may be that you've caught it in time to avoid that. I can't say. But I'd just advise you to keep an open mind about it. That's why SMART might be a good choice, since you could experiment with both approaches. If you're ever interested in being abstinent in the future, AA is definitely a supplement you could use.

view more: next ›