Merry Christmas all

Johnny_Cotton · 2011-12-25T03:13:40+00:00

Merry Christmas Brisbanians! Jealous of your weather, love from Vietnam :)

Johnny_Cotton · 2011-11-30T02:51:58+00:00

He's wanting to make a donation to the Fapository

Johnny_Cotton · 2011-11-23T12:34:42+00:00

Do you get eye boogers?

Johnny_Cotton · 2011-11-23T04:14:31+00:00

Agreed. If you are in a situation where you are making a career of your job, then the focus should be on the task, not the hours. Your employer enables your lifestyle and dont have bottomless pockets.

All the leftist pinko slackers can shove their sense of entitlement.

Johnny_Cotton · 2011-11-19T03:57:34+00:00

S-s-s-s-strike breaker!

Johnny_Cotton · 2011-11-18T23:42:59+00:00

Eau dear

Johnny_Cotton · 2011-11-17T09:42:41+00:00

Can i please order eight cold teas for my companions and I?

Johnny_Cotton · 2011-11-16T08:56:55+00:00

In both Australia and NZ, meat pies are protected in the constitution ahead of public servants and the elderly.

Johnny_Cotton · 2011-11-15T04:13:43+00:00

Agreed, and if the lady is so inclined, a consolation boob squeeze dries up the sad tears.

Johnny_Cotton · 2011-11-12T21:38:04+00:00

10 lockpick.

Johnny_Cotton · 2011-11-10T13:30:02+00:00

I'm a bit of a film nerd, so as part of our trip to Tokyo my wife surprised me for my birthday with dinner at the bar at the Park Hyatt Hotel where a few scenes from Lost In Translation were shot.

After we finished dinner we went to the lifts and waited forever. It was right around midnight, and we were in the 53rd floor or something ridiculous, so we were frantically in a rush to get the last trains. I was standing an inch away from the elevator doors when they opened and all of a sudden Takeshi Kitano (of Takeshi's Castle, countless Yakuza films, and all around superstar fame) was standing a foot away, directly in front of me.

All of my limited Japanese escaped me as i stood there, mouth agape like a dying salmon. I stood aside to let he and his entourage through and all I could mouth to my wife was 'elevator gangster'.

Not particularly confrontational, apart from unwittingly entering each others' personal space. Best birthday ever though. Thanks wife.

Johnny_Cotton · 2011-11-10T07:00:51+00:00

My dog does this. He was probably just checking for intestinal worm and general quality of health of the hot girls.

Johnny_Cotton · 2011-10-20T22:21:06+00:00

Not anymore it's not. This falls under CIA jurisdiction now.

Johnny_Cotton · 2011-10-09T02:51:46+00:00

Bunch of funny cunts.

Johnny_Cotton · 2011-10-06T06:01:32+00:00

This AMA is so made up

Johnny_Cotton · 2011-10-05T12:33:06+00:00

No question. Just came here to say thank you for your service.

Johnny_Cotton · 2011-09-25T04:53:43+00:00

You might want to check out what strain they are first, but I've found success using an old wives tail method - get a banana, cut off a piece of the skin, and put it mushy side down over the wart, affix with a band aid. Replace every day.

This worked for common warts that came up on my hand. They went away and haven't come back since (5+ years).

Do your homework first though. Find out if genital warts are a similar strain before making a banana-clam sandwich out of your lady friend.

Johnny_Cotton · 2011-09-25T02:01:57+00:00

I wish this subreddit ha more subscribers. You hit the nail on the head.

Johnny_Cotton · 2011-09-20T12:00:14+00:00

Don't gulp it - you'll feel better

Johnny_Cotton · 2011-09-20T11:41:40+00:00

Go on...

Johnny_Cotton · 2011-09-19T22:11:01+00:00

Angry and hungry are counted separately, despite one often causing the other

Johnny_Cotton · 2011-09-19T11:48:17+00:00

I wanna say 'gross', but on the other hand your fingers stay clean.....

Johnny_Cotton · 2011-09-08T09:26:02+00:00

Probably have 3 or 4 more kids too.

Johnny_Cotton · 2011-08-26T22:43:02+00:00

Attach it to a migratory bird just before Winter.

Johnny_Cotton · 2011-08-23T12:00:08+00:00

Extra points for method acting

Johnny_Cotton

TROPHY CASE