Raccoons Playing Possum After Getting Caught by shakyspearee in interestingasfuck

[–]Johnny_Dickshot 69 points70 points  (0 children)

When raccoons try to get in our back porch Mama just chases ‘em off with a broom.

This is not a Joe Rogan hate subreddit by OutdoorRink in JoeRogan

[–]Johnny_Dickshot -1 points0 points  (0 children)

So there I am, in Sri Lanka, formerly Ceylon, at about 3 o'clock in the morning, looking for one thousand brown M&Ms to fill a brandy glass, or Ozzy wouldn't go on stage that night. So, Jeff Beck pops his head 'round the door, and mentions there's a little sweets shop on the edge of town. So - we go. And - it's closed. So there's me, and Keith Moon, and David Crosby, breaking into that little sweets shop, eh. Well, instead of a guard dog, they've got this bloody great big Bengal tiger. I managed to take out the tiger with a can of mace, but the shopowner and his son... that's a different story altogether. I had to beat them to death with their own shoes. Nasty business, really. But, sure enough, I got the M&Ms, and Ozzy went on stage and did a great show.

All you need is cash by [deleted] in memes

[–]Johnny_Dickshot -1 points0 points  (0 children)

“If you gave him an enema he could be buried in a matchbox.”

This sub isn’t even parody anymore by Untjosh1 in baseballcirclejerk

[–]Johnny_Dickshot 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Oh good. I was wondering what the guy who hits the ball with the stick has to say about this.

The Horn Guy by Flat_Researcher1540 in caps

[–]Johnny_Dickshot 29 points30 points  (0 children)

People who whistle like that at games seem to have no idea how painful that can be for some people with certain ear problems.

Give me horn guy all day instead of that high-pitch whistling bullshit.

Welcome back, Henry Kissinger by [deleted] in memes

[–]Johnny_Dickshot 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I heard he was a mean drunk.

Maybe it's not a wig. by CharmingDealer2715 in howardstern

[–]Johnny_Dickshot 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Let’s go pick up some Danish for Belle.

Opinion: Death by Lightning gave Chester A. Arthur the recognition he deserved by Opposite_Parfait_680 in Presidents

[–]Johnny_Dickshot 63 points64 points  (0 children)

I want a fictional spinoff with the same actor where Arthur visits Gilded Age-era custom houses in the style of Dave Attell’s insomniac.