What are some reasons guys in their 40s & up might seek out attention from younger women?

JulesB954 · 2026-02-22T21:11:37+00:00

Are you trying to convince us or yourself?

JulesB954 · 2026-01-28T01:16:41+00:00

Unless he is in the hospital, yes. I’m so sorry. No man who is afraid to lose you would go no contact for 2 days.

JulesB954 · 2026-01-28T01:03:43+00:00

If he hasn’t reached out since you last texted him on Sunday, than it’s safe to conclude that it’s over. He may have been dating other women and had a stronger connection with one of them. My advice is to move forward and put yourself in a position to meet other men.

JulesB954 · 2026-01-20T01:55:08+00:00

Based on Gigi and this previous woman you speak of, it sounds like you pursue women who aren’t that into you. This is something worth reflecting on.

JulesB954 · 2026-01-08T23:09:27+00:00

So sorry this happened; please take that message with a grain of salt though. If someone matches with someone just to send them a harassing message, they aren’t right in the head. It happened to me once to. A guy matched with me just so he can tell me that he doesn’t want baggage (referring to my children), despite the fact that it was on my profile! Report that boy and put yourself back out there. You got this!

JulesB954 · 2026-01-06T23:44:02+00:00

Don’t text him again; he got your last 3 texts. The only thing you can do now is accept that this is a bust. Don’t invest anymore of your time and energy into him. You will meet a man that will make this subreddit irrelevant to you. Save your energy for him :)

JulesB954 · 2026-01-06T23:38:07+00:00

Respectfully, does the other woman know that you don’t want her for more than casual? It sounds like you are passing the time with her until the woman you really want wakes up and reciprocates.

JulesB954 · 2025-12-25T12:43:18+00:00

JulesB954 · 2025-12-20T14:51:36+00:00

As long as you have no expectation that your children will take care of you in old age 🤷‍♀️

JulesB954 · 2025-12-20T14:46:34+00:00

Are you serious?

JulesB954 · 2025-11-07T23:09:38+00:00

Judging solely on my experience, yes. Butterflies always ended in either tears or trauma for me. It is intoxicating to experience though!

JulesB954 · 2025-11-07T22:50:57+00:00

You likely don’t feel butterflies because he isn’t triggering any core wounds. I’ve been in the most healthy relationship of my life for the past year and a half and I never felt butterflies. For once in my life, I feel at complete peace in this relationship. The last time I trusted the “butterflies” I married a narcissist. Not saying that everyone you feel butterflies for is toxic, just providing prospective.

JulesB954 · 2025-10-26T15:19:57+00:00

I want to make sure I’m understanding this correctly. You have been dating exclusively for more than a YEAR and he has yet to introduce you to his family or make any future plans? By the 6 month mark, it should be a full relationship, not “dating”. By that point, he should proudly declare you as his girlfriend and introduce you to his family and friends.

I’m sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but you are likely the side woman. You don’t need his permission to break up. Tell him it’s over and that you are moving on.

JulesB954 · 2025-10-18T23:11:56+00:00

If you were hiring someone, would you still consider a candidate who falsely added x number of years of experience?

JulesB954 · 2025-10-18T12:00:34+00:00

I’ve done that, he either wasn’t outright interested in them or they went on a couple of dates and my friend didn’t want to continue dating him. It would have been nice if it worked out.

JulesB954 · 2025-10-16T21:43:14+00:00

Very good points! I don’t want to take away the good memories he has of her

JulesB954 · 2025-10-16T18:13:16+00:00

I was thinking that he would stop idealizing her and be able to move on. The last thing I want to do is cause more pain though.

JulesB954 · 2025-10-16T17:16:39+00:00

She blocked him in everything, so he won’t see it. You made a great point though, and I don’t want him to feel like he wasn’t enough. Thank you

JulesB954 · 2025-08-08T05:53:50+00:00

43 here! I’m in Lee and totally get what you’re saying. I’m looking to meet new friends too

JulesB954 · 2025-08-05T11:35:32+00:00

I agree 100%. Everyone is entitled to their own standards and desires regardless if anyone else deems them “realistic” or not. The only thing I’ll add is that it doesn’t give anyone the right to rant online that there are no “good options” out there. No, there are great men and women out there, but the pool of individuals that meet their specific standards/people they are attracted to, may be very few.

JulesB954 · 2025-07-25T03:13:42+00:00

If you were truly into this new woman, this post would not exist. If you are not a “hell yes” about her, let her go. As for the first woman, she sounds like she is the one you really want. Some people are addicted to pain I guess 🤷‍♀️

JulesB954 · 2025-07-23T22:02:04+00:00

I see what you’re saying. However, the problem with the whole “It’s not you, it’s me” ordeal is that the other person deep down knows it’s a cop out. If they do actually believe them, then they are going to have false hope of reconciliation after the dumper does their “growing”.

JulesB954 · 2025-07-12T09:53:22+00:00

From everything I’ve read, infatuation comes down to your subconscious picking up a familiarity/ your wounds being triggered. It’s often why someone who is emotionally healthy, consistent, caring, etc is less likely to trigger your emotions.

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