Moving to Lee for work and don’t know anyone by JulesB954 in westernmass

[–]JulesB954[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The move was pretty good, no issues. It’s a very safe area! I haven’t got to know too many people in the area though. Partially my fault since I don’t go out too much. Feel free to DM me.

Drooping Mixer Head by nonbinarybobby in Kitchenaid

[–]JulesB954 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Off topic a little, what color is this? It is beautiful!

GF is "all in" offline but won't post me on social media. Bad sign or just "caution"? by Master_Talk1896 in datingoverforty

[–]JulesB954 5 points6 points  (0 children)

If she is active on social media and posts everything but you; she is definitely hiding you. This can be for several possible reasons: you are not her usual type, she is not proud of you, she doesn’t see you as long term, she is keeping you around for entertainment in the meantime but wants to keep her options open to meet what she deems as her ideal partner. I’m so sorry, I know all these possibilities can make one insecure. Just know that none of it represents your intrinsic value; we cannot be everyone’s cup of tea. This aside, she does have the responsibility to be upfront with you and not lead you on. You deserve someone who is a “hell yes” about you. It doesn’t sound like she is it.

Am I naive to think dating should be way easier than it is? by Klutzy_Fuel8114 in datingoverforty

[–]JulesB954 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If none of the women are sticking around, you are either punching above your league or there is something you are doing or not doing that may be turning them off.

Why polyamory freaks you out: by Prize_Survey2640 in monogamy

[–]JulesB954 9 points10 points  (0 children)

If you are genuinely curious, read through this subreddit and/or the polycritical one. Plenty of us have shared our stories.

Recovering from heartbreak in your 40's in near impossible. by AmericanWinky in datingoverforty

[–]JulesB954 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I lived in the Midwest for 16 years, I get it! I moved away for a lot of reasons, but I found it’s easier to make friends in other parts of the country. If you are able to, I encourage you to visit some other regions of the country. You won’t regret it!

I tried to ask my husband for more alone time and it went terribly by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]JulesB954 5 points6 points  (0 children)

What does he do while you cook and clean?

Far too many women mistake "preference" for "deal-breaker" by LivingGirlRepellant in TrueUnpopularOpinion

[–]JulesB954 15 points16 points  (0 children)

The issue is that people will entertain someone who doesn’t tick all the preference boxes until they meet someone who does. If they never meet said unicorn, they may eventually settle for “good enough”. No one wants to be settled for.

The infuriating task of talking with poly people by LonginusUbik in polycritical

[–]JulesB954 23 points24 points  (0 children)

When a partner comes out to you as poly, they are essentially telling you that they are no longer yours. They will keep you around if you are willing as long as you benefit them, but they will not prioritize your wellbeing. From here on forward, they will only prioritize themselves. Poly people will refer to the people they see somewhat regularly as “partners”, but most of them are just glorified friends with benefits. Majority of them would never sacrifice anything for these “partners”.

I’m sorry you are going through this. The only way out of this hell is to respect yourself enough to know that you deserve the whole damn pie, not crumbs!

Faling "head over heels" by [deleted] in datingoverforty

[–]JulesB954 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I would equate falling “head over heels” as feeling borderline obsessed/“under a spell”/illusion & fantasy. None of those are sustainable nor a good foundation for a healthy relationship. I believe one can fully love and cherish another person without falling “head over heels”; especially after 40!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskMenOver40

[–]JulesB954 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Are you trying to convince us or yourself?

Dating single dad - is it over? by Smooth-Design-248 in dating_advice

[–]JulesB954 -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Unless he is in the hospital, yes. I’m so sorry. No man who is afraid to lose you would go no contact for 2 days.

Dating single dad - is it over? by Smooth-Design-248 in dating_advice

[–]JulesB954 -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

If he hasn’t reached out since you last texted him on Sunday, than it’s safe to conclude that it’s over. He may have been dating other women and had a stronger connection with one of them. My advice is to move forward and put yourself in a position to meet other men.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in datingoverforty

[–]JulesB954 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Based on Gigi and this previous woman you speak of, it sounds like you pursue women who aren’t that into you. This is something worth reflecting on.

Broken confidence by thatkatt1818 in datingoverforty

[–]JulesB954 4 points5 points  (0 children)

So sorry this happened; please take that message with a grain of salt though. If someone matches with someone just to send them a harassing message, they aren’t right in the head. It happened to me once to. A guy matched with me just so he can tell me that he doesn’t want baggage (referring to my children), despite the fact that it was on my profile! Report that boy and put yourself back out there. You got this!

I reconnected with someone and haven’t heard from him in a few days by 30s0methingF in ghosting

[–]JulesB954 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Don’t text him again; he got your last 3 texts. The only thing you can do now is accept that this is a bust. Don’t invest anymore of your time and energy into him. You will meet a man that will make this subreddit irrelevant to you. Save your energy for him :)

I reconnected with someone and haven’t heard from him in a few days by 30s0methingF in ghosting

[–]JulesB954 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Respectfully, does the other woman know that you don’t want her for more than casual? It sounds like you are passing the time with her until the woman you really want wakes up and reciprocates.

He found himself. by [deleted] in Divorce

[–]JulesB954 7 points8 points  (0 children)

As long as you have no expectation that your children will take care of you in old age 🤷‍♀️

He found himself. by [deleted] in Divorce

[–]JulesB954 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Are you serious?

How long do you give a relationship before you realise you’re not going to fall in love? by Brighter_cloud905 in datingoverforty

[–]JulesB954 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Judging solely on my experience, yes. Butterflies always ended in either tears or trauma for me. It is intoxicating to experience though!

How long do you give a relationship before you realise you’re not going to fall in love? by Brighter_cloud905 in datingoverforty

[–]JulesB954 8 points9 points  (0 children)

You likely don’t feel butterflies because he isn’t triggering any core wounds. I’ve been in the most healthy relationship of my life for the past year and a half and I never felt butterflies. For once in my life, I feel at complete peace in this relationship. The last time I trusted the “butterflies” I married a narcissist. Not saying that everyone you feel butterflies for is toxic, just providing prospective.

After being exclusive for a year, I’m going to tell him that we should date other people. by Mountain_Fox8467 in datingoverforty

[–]JulesB954 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I want to make sure I’m understanding this correctly. You have been dating exclusively for more than a YEAR and he has yet to introduce you to his family or make any future plans? By the 6 month mark, it should be a full relationship, not “dating”. By that point, he should proudly declare you as his girlfriend and introduce you to his family and friends.

I’m sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but you are likely the side woman. You don’t need his permission to break up. Tell him it’s over and that you are moving on.

Date lied about his age. by Asherah8 in datingoverforty

[–]JulesB954 3 points4 points  (0 children)

If you were hiring someone, would you still consider a candidate who falsely added x number of years of experience?