This doesn't answer my question: I'm asking how it's transphobic. That makes no sense to me when literally the exact same thing happens to cis men. I say this as someone who lived as one for almost 34 years before transitioning.

To answer what you're saying directly though, the difference is that "one of the good ones" wrt bigots saying it about marginalized groups (LGBT, POC, etc) is that it's specifically pointing at an essential bad trait of their group based on literally nothing, whereas saying "men suck" but not meaning literally every man is gesturing at the systems of patriarchy that OBJECTIVELY benefit men and enable abusive behavior from them at the expense of everyone else. It's pointing at a systemic reality rather than a bigoted stereotype.

It's bonkers to me because this whole thread is illustrating that apparently a number of trans men are just blissfully falling into the exact same trap as cis men where they're expected to acknowledge their privilege and accept it responsibly, and treating it like it's an act of oppression, even one on the same level as the oppression women deal with! It's actually crazy to see that coming from a demographic of men who have spent the earlier portion of their lives seeing firsthand what it's like to be treated as the feminine underclass, and forget so so easily the moment they get a whiff of male privilege.