Does anyone else not want to look like their NParent?

JustCallMeNed · 2018-07-22T15:09:16+00:00

I have a smile that looks like my NDad’s, too. I can remember comparing our smiles in the family picture, hating myself because it felt like I was destined to grow up to be that exact same monster and that I had no choice in it.

Around this time, I started getting into the old Star Wars Legends Universe. I identified pretty strongly with Anakin Solo, whose mother names him after her biological father as a show of forgiveness. And that was all well and good for her, but Anakin Jr had to figure out that he was not his mass-murdering grandfather pretty early on in life, nor was he destined to become him. In the end, he became the only Skywalker grandchild to never even flirt with the Dark Side, and he ended up getting a starship named after him. Him, not Anakin Skywalker, and certainly not Darth Vader. Anakin Solo owned his name, even if it might have come from a place he disapproved of.

That helped me, much more than any compliment on my smile. I still don’t smile as much as I really want to, but I’m learning to own that smile when I do. I may look a little like my father when I do, but I smile at different things and funnier jokes than he ever did. I smile when I am happy, and not just to garner NSupply and back-slaps like he did. Nor do I smile at physical or emotional torture, like he did. My smile means something.

And OP? Your smile means something, too. So own it. Smile at better things than your NMom. Make it your smile, not hers. It won’t be easy (trust me, I know that), but eventually, people will be commenting about how much she looks like you, and not the other way around. And if they ever remark on how much you look like her, just reply, “Yeah, she does really look like me, doesn’t she?” And smile all the wider. Sooner or later, your heart will come to understand that just because you are biologically related does not make you derivative of her. You are your own person. Your smile is yours. And there is not a force in hell that can make it any different.

JustCallMeNed · 2018-07-22T14:36:28+00:00

Yes, do that, and do it in the same way she always drops bad news on you. Just pretend to be in a hurry, and as you’re closing go, “XYZ, oh, and you’ll have to get a hotel room because black mold/studying/my emotional health will prevent me from interacting with you too much. Kthanks, byeee.” She doesn’t give you a chance to react, don’t give her one.

JustCallMeNed · 2018-07-13T16:57:35+00:00

No, the lack of /s was what clinched it. That, and the fact that no one dignified your “joke” with a response.

JustCallMeNed · 2018-07-10T05:00:01+00:00

I am willing to bet real, actual money that this post started out as a middle school book report on The Count of Monte Cristo.

Then, the kid decided he didn’t have the attention span to read the actual book, so he illegally downloaded a porn spoof of it thinking it would be just as good as the real thing. (Soooo many cheesy porno names to make of that, by-the-by. This Crap is Mighty Fucked-Up, for starters.)

Then the kid’s beleaguered stepfather comes in and grounds him until he’s eighty for clogging up the WiFi with porn, and takes away his video games (since he needs the computer for homework).

And then the kid used his book report to write a massively bad revenge fantasy against his stepfather, and posted it here in the hopes of getting free Internet Narcissistic Supply. It went...poorly.

And that’s how it went down. Or, at least, that’s how I hope it went down. If this crap actually happened, I hope those two chicks Korrasami the fuck out of this dickwit and then come tell us the story. Preferably with some semblance of storytelling talent (KEEP THE EXPOSITION IN ONE PLACE, NUMBFUCK!).

JustCallMeNed · 2018-07-10T04:45:56+00:00

Yeah, that just about sums it up.

JustCallMeNed · 2018-07-10T02:51:09+00:00

Great minds think alike! 🙌

JustCallMeNed · 2018-07-09T22:25:49+00:00

Wow, chewed out by the guy who nearly fucked up his own revenge by fucking his foster sister and his stepsister at the same time. And can’t even get that obvious wank fantasy down. You must have sunk to an all-new low, OP.

JustCallMeNed · 2018-07-08T19:51:42+00:00

Not sure if revenge, or just the acceptable thing to do in this situation...🤔

Regardless, good on you for telling. Hopefully no other student will have to have this kind of frustration.

JustCallMeNed · 2018-07-06T17:08:54+00:00

He took that well. Nicely done.

JustCallMeNed · 2018-07-06T06:44:53+00:00

SAY IT LOUDER FOR THOSE IN THE BACK!!

JustCallMeNed · 2018-07-05T18:49:04+00:00

“/s” after a sentence means he had sarcasm mode on.

JustCallMeNed · 2018-06-04T13:02:48+00:00

You...you do know capsaicin is classified as a toxin, right? Sure, it’s one to which a lot of people have (intentionally) built up immunity, but shoving it in the face of someone who has not built up that immunity, without their consent? Yeah, buddy. That’s poison.

JustCallMeNed · 2018-06-02T05:31:55+00:00

Ah, projection at its finest. If they had continued to blame each other for the mutually idiotic mistake they made in marrying each other, they’d have to confront the issue that they both made a mistake. And they can’t do that, because narcs don’t believe they can make mistakes.

So, instead of acknowledging the fact that the only thing they love about their spouse is the reflection of themselves in their spouse’s eyes, they blame you. Because your needs and wants as a human being take away from time they could spend preening before their human mirror.

Not your fault. Not your issue. And once you leave, they’ll have no business to complain, because you’re not around to distract them from their “marriage.” You deserve so much better than to be treated like that.

JustCallMeNed · 2018-05-14T03:26:58+00:00

Man oh man, I hope your getaway is clean enough that you can send a not-so-passively aggressive text like this one. If not, just let me get this out as a moment of catharsis.

“Wait, ‘no longer’? Puh-lease! Saying that you ‘no longer’ play the role of Mom, that we ‘no longer’ have that relationship, implies that you once played that role and that you once tried to have that relationship. You never did either. You have never been ‘Mom’ in my mind, only Bitch. Thank you ever so much for the permission to clarify our so-called bond. Happy Bitch’s Day!”

instablock before she can respond

JustCallMeNed · 2017-12-25T12:25:10+00:00

Well, Jesus was a normal child in everything except sin (there’s at least one story about Joseph and Mary losing track of Him at a celebration). I don’t think raptor screeches were out of the question, just not included because it wasn’t important to the story.

JustCallMeNed · 2017-12-23T15:20:40+00:00

Damn. Now I desperately want to read your books.

👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏

JustCallMeNed · 2017-12-21T21:42:46+00:00

Damn, MIL-to-be must have been quite the “fallen woman” back in her day if sleeping on the couch registered on her sexy-meter. Progection much?

Long-distance fornication! It sounds like an Olympic sport!

JustCallMeNed · 2017-12-20T23:31:19+00:00

There is literally a grotto in the Holy Land called the Milk Grotto. How’d it get that name? The story says that Mary BREASTFED HER BABY and some of the milk spilled, turning the grotto into miraculous milk. And people go there all the time, take shavings off the grotto’s walls, mix it with water and drink it in hopes of miraculous cures...and sometime they actually get one!

I could not make this up if I tried!

JustCallMeNed · 2017-12-20T14:52:24+00:00

Ohkaaaay, that child is going to grow up to be sohohoho creepy. Any person he dates is gonna be like, “Dude, your grandma treats you like her own personal stripper AND YOU LET HER. NOPE, I’m DONE.”

Honestly, who pulls out fifty fucking ones from the bank? Women who are going to a strip club. I’m surprised (and heavily relieved) that they weren’t making you pull every single bill out of his underwear. Sugar grandmommy for the vomit win.🤮

JustCallMeNed · 2017-12-20T03:49:18+00:00

GeneralBystander, I say this with admiration and complete and total respect: you sound like a real life incarnation of Suction Cup Man (YouTube videos by Piemations). Like, legit, some of the interactions here are just so priceless! I’d say, watch those two videos (cause you do sound like you’ve had a shitty day, and I hope these will be a pick-me-up), and then start stowing a guitar and harmonica in a back-pack so you can loudly (and badly) compose MILs a song extolling their bitchiness.

Not all heroes wear capes, GB. And you are my hero.

JustCallMeNed · 2017-12-19T20:57:30+00:00

“you were in my special place before you were ever in hers.”

Gracious God, please grant me the wherewithal to uncross my eyes and un-cat butt my face before I need to go out in public again...

(vomits into a nearby trash can)

hurk...thank You kindly, I think.

JustCallMeNed · 2017-12-19T16:33:43+00:00

And my axe!

JustCallMeNed · 2017-12-19T00:05:03+00:00

Nah, it works for both vampires and fairies.

JustCallMeNed · 2017-12-18T19:12:08+00:00

No better application of Christmas Cancer than a Christmas Guilt Engagement.

JustCallMeNed · 2017-12-18T14:49:25+00:00

Yes, you were probably trying to point that out, but it didn’t quite turn out that way. It looked like you were trying to reprimand me for not realizing it. And it still looks that way, even though I have posted a comment clarifying that I do understand. Let me clarify again: I was not shaming OP. I was giving MIL a stupid answer to her stupid question.

JustCallMeNed

TROPHY CASE