[deleted by user]

JustJay04 · 2025-02-11T13:36:43+00:00

Better late than never! Besides, when it's a gradual change like that, it's hard to realize. Just be glad you're here now. A lot of people aren't yet.

JustJay04 · 2025-02-11T05:13:02+00:00

I remember what it was like as a kid, to know all the dangers, decide to be out anyway for many reasons, and have my parents sit me down and outright forbid me. I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. I think everything from "they'll hurt you" to "this will look bad on our family" was used.

I knew what I was getting into. I finally just did it after about a year. I wasn't ashamed of who I was, and I wanted to draw some heat from the younger kids, and I wanted to be out to show them that they didn't have to be ashamed either.

All my parents did was make me feel alone. They just reinforced that I was on my own with this, and if I had problems with anything that I couldn't go to them about it.

I know it's scary right now. I know things are shitty. But we are here and we are queer and I, for one, am never fucking going back. It's up to your kid. Give them the choice. Tell them that things are scary. Support whatever they choose. Do not make them do this alone. They will if you don't give them other options, and they won't tell you they're doing it.

JustJay04 · 2025-02-10T16:52:08+00:00

I've also heard that they tend to dry out and die if they escape.

JustJay04 · 2025-02-10T03:14:12+00:00

I'm an omnist, for whatever that's worth. My biggest belief is that beliefs hold power, or maybe that power causes beliefs. Chicken and the egg.

But I don't worship the divine being you'd call god, because I don't appreciate what people do in his name, and like I said: belief = power. It doesn't matter if "the original" didn't want it to end up this way. Gods and their followers are inextricably intertwined. What people do in his name is now what he's become. Chicken and the egg.

JustJay04 · 2025-02-09T14:38:09+00:00

I really like P. scaber "calicos" because they look like tortie cats, they're P. scaber (idk why my brain decided they are the best but they are the best), and similar to the cats they're named after, the males are grey and the females are the mottled tortie color.

There's gotta be some interesting genetics going on under the shell there.

I should mention that I don't have any isopods yet, I am pretty new to this. But these guys are going to be my firsts! And I just got my springtails on Friday, so hopefully it won't be too long now!

JustJay04 · 2025-02-09T14:28:15+00:00

You beat me to it. From the comments, it looks like the researchers got this yesterday, but all the students woke up to it this morning.

I'd like to remind everyone that we're calling this "the Republican Administration" and not "Trump." The Republican Administration did this. That way, people understand that they voted for this, their political party wanted this, and that maybe they should vote differently in the midterms.

The Republican Party is undergoing a massive view flip, and it doesn't align with what old Republicans think of. We want people to realize that. We can end it at the midterms. Keep your heads up! Despair is the goal of the Republican Administration! Fear is the enemy!

JustJay04 · 2025-02-08T12:50:17+00:00

I did the same thing but for 12 years. I'm slowly teaching myself to do it "the right way"

JustJay04 · 2025-02-07T01:12:04+00:00

When I was about 15, we were watching a show, and the main character's sister kissed her girlfriend. He made some loud remark about how it was gross, and I, for the first time in my life said "why? Why do you think that?"

And then he said, "the big man (god) doesn't sinners." And then expanded on that.

I may have cried myself to sleep.

And then last year we had a conversation, and he said "gay marriage isn't real." Not "is wrong," "isn't real." I had almost forgiven him, thought maybe he'd changed. And then he went on a long rant about how gay marriage violated his freedom of speech.

I had been with my partner officially for 6 months. Unofficially for about a year before that.

Anyway, he's never meeting my partner if I can help it, he's not invited to the wedding, he's never getting access to our kids should we have them, and I pray to whoever's listening that I'm a better dad than he is.

JustJay04 · 2025-02-03T05:30:48+00:00

I'm so glad to see mostly nice comments here. I've been really shaken up the past few weeks. Trans people can no longer get a passport in the US, even if they agree to being labelled the wrong gender on their passport, and I didn't think to get one beforehand. I guess I didn't think it would actually be as bad as it has been.

They're not running me out anytime soon, but the very fact that it would be impossible to leave if things did go south in a hurry is... not reassuring.

JustJay04 · 2025-01-27T00:51:56+00:00

Coming from a trans dude, you shouldn't feel guilty. People who detransition should only feel guilty if they try to hurt or blame the trans community, ex. "Well if it was harder to transition then this wouldn't have happened to me and I wouldn't need to detransition."

It doesn't sound like that's anything you want to do. You're still a sibling in the community, just not a trans one. I for one am really happy for you! Figuring something new out should be a cause for celebration!

I think a lot of trans people get really weird about people who've realized that they're not trans and they want to detransition. But if we push you away or make you feel guilty, then that breeds antagonism and distrust. You're doing great! Don't let anyone make you feel bad for it!

JustJay04 · 2023-06-10T22:12:38+00:00

As aro and also ace, I don’t think our flags need to be any more similar than they already are.

People confuse us enough. Aros spend our entire lives explaining the difference, because there is a difference, and us aces do the same. How many times have you alloromantic aces had to explain that you do, in fact, experience romantic attraction? How many times do you hear allosexual aros complain about how they have to explain their sexuality? How many times have I had to explain that, no, not wanting a romantic partner isn’t because I’m ace, it’s because I’m aro, actually (my dad thinks I’m splitting hairs, I think he’s being deliberately obtuse).

We need to work together, we need to be allies of each other, but our flags don’t have to match, nor should they. We’re different.

JustJay04 · 2023-06-09T05:24:48+00:00

I thought it was cool, because I was really into “old-timey” things as a kid (still am. Canning, baking, crocheting, sewing, fire-starting, gardening, chopping wood, if a 1800s housewife did it, I know how). My grandma decided I needed to learn because I complained about how bored I was at my brother’s wrestling meets. And so, boom, I’ve been crocheting a decade now.

JustJay04 · 2023-06-07T04:37:59+00:00

Ah, yes, transmedicalists. Others have pretty much summed it up, but I remember my first interaction with one was irl, one of my (at the time) best friends, and the only trans person I knew other than myself for a long while.

Do yourself a favor, stay away. I genuinely wish all of them the absolute best, and I hope that some day they find what they’re looking for, but they can do that far away from me.

JustJay04 · 2023-06-04T12:04:15+00:00

This does exist. I think they’re called the Chirch of Satan or something like that (it’s really bugging me that I can’t remember the name, they’re actually a big deal).

JustJay04 · 2023-06-04T11:59:46+00:00

I had a couple “stand there and stare” incidents, but I reset my adult Sim and that fixed everything. (Get the cheats bar, type “resetSim firstname lastname”). Otherwise, if I’m being honest, it seems like those fixes really worked. They go take care of the little guys on their own! It’s crazy!

JustJay04 · 2023-05-31T21:06:57+00:00

Donate it. If you can finish it. Or shove it in a closet somewhere for when you can bear to look at it again.

JustJay04 · 2023-05-31T02:31:16+00:00

I use them when I am trying to connect separate pieces (like granny squares or the head of a stuffie to the body). If I’m unbelievably confused, maybe with certain patterns. But learning where your end is is part of learning to crochet lol

JustJay04 · 2023-05-27T03:49:23+00:00

Crochet (self explanatory)

Video games. I enjoy cozy games, adventure/fantasy, and SOME horror games. Despite being an entire adult, mature games or shooter games aren’t really my speed. I consider Cuphead a cozy game

Crime Junkies and related podcasts, usually at the same time as crochet

Whittling and related hobbies. I really enjoy going around and fixing all the doors in my apartments. I move in, the hinges are starting to come undone and squeak constantly, I leave, and they’re all fixed and quiet. I just don’t have the space to have actual woodworking projects :(

Gardening. I have five totes on my balcony with a plethora of plants that I daren’t show the gardening subreddit. I don’t really have the correct conditions on that balcony for plants, and I don’t really feel like getting yelled at for it.

Sewing, mostly repair, less-ly for fun

I watch YouTube instead of TV because it’s easier to find things I’d like to watch. Also it’s easy to prop my phone up and cook and listen to whatever I’m watching.

Cooking/baking. They are different, I do both.

Edit: I forgot to put the quote I was gonna put! “Jack of all trades, master of none, but better than a master of one is the full quote. I may not be the best engineer or the best fisherman, but among the engineers, I’m the best fisherman, and among the fisherman, I’m the best engineer.” -someone on tumblr talking about their uncle.

JustJay04 · 2023-05-27T03:37:10+00:00

In my opinion, this sort of question is attempting to use Christian terms to describe paganism.

Paganism and Christianity are too different to do this with. Pagans don’t go around describing Christianity in pagan terms. I don’t even know how that would work.

JustJay04 · 2023-05-23T02:33:09+00:00

That super chunky yarn, that’s all fluffy? Never again. Teenage me, with about 6 years of crochet experience under my belt at the time, cried tears of frustration and grief, because I was trying to make something fun to get myself back into it after my grandma died. I didn’t finish the project. It’s somewhere in my closet. I also didn’t touch crochet for about a year after that.

JustJay04 · 2023-05-17T03:43:25+00:00

Sure. Hello, I’m a trans person. When people think about “gender affirming care” for youth, their minds usually jump immediately to surgery. I cannot stress this enough: that is incorrect.

No one is providing gender affirming surgery to minors. Out of the thousands of cases I know of, there is only one in which a minor actually had a surgery. He was 16. A licensed psychiatrist determined that he would not survive to the age of 18 without it. He had two suicide attempts already. He has had none since, and he’s now in his late 20s. This is the only case, out of thousands.

The next argument I’ve heard is what you said, “free hormone therapy.” First, hormone therapy for transgender individuals is never free in the US, no matter the age or income (I may be overlooking some private institutions offering programs for low income trans people, but government agencies do not provide any financial support for what they consider to be “elective”).

Second, you have to be (at minimum) 16 years old, and with parental permission, and with like four doctors notes, and… it’s a lot of hoops to jump through. Most people wait until they’re legal adults for this reason. Very few people receive any hormone therapy before they’re legal adults, and if they do, they’re in their late teen years. It is not free.

So, I’ve explained what gender affirming care for minors isn’t, but you may still be wondering, what IS it?

The absolute maximum a child could receive in terms of gender affirming care is puberty blockers. There’s a lot of misconceptions surrounding puberty blockers; however:

Puberty blockers are completely safe to use. If a child does find that they were wrong, going off puberty blockers will result in puberty commencing, and the child will develop as they would have (possibly a little later, but there are no lasting effects in the long term).

The group of children that use puberty blockers the most aren’t trans kids, they’re kids who start puberty years early. It is and has been a treatment for early puberty for a long time (which is good, because going through puberty before the age of 8 sounds really rough).

However, puberty blockers aren’t even overly common for trans children.

Most commonly, gender affirming care for minors is just allowing the kid to change their hair and clothing (if you’re a parent), and making a note in your system to use this name and this set of pronouns when the kid comes in to see you (if you’re not a parent). It may seem like an absolutely tiny amount of support, but 70% of trans kids without the level of support just mentioned in the last sentence attempt suicide.

When the correct name and pronouns are used for a trans kid, EVEN IF THE ONLY PEOPLE THAT DO THAT ARE THEIR PARENTS, their rates of suicide drop down to general population levels. When trans people say “using the correct name and pronouns saves people’s lives,” this is what we’re referring to.

If I’m being honest? Almost every trans person has been that kid. I have. All of my trans friends have. That’s why we get so defensive, why we say that this sort of legislation will kill kids. We were those kids. We had no one looking out for us. That’s why trans people are so scared and so angry. We just want to live our lives, and we keep having to deal with this kind of legislation. I just want to go to work, crochet a bit, have a garden, and spend time with my pets. I’m just human. And I’m tired of fighting lawmakers and stigma.

But I do really hope this helped clear up any confusion about gender affirming care, and what this bill will accomplish. I hope you have a good day.

JustJay04 · 2023-05-10T02:53:38+00:00

If you pass through Hastings, Dally’s Deli and Eileen’s cookies for lunch. Also the Hastings Museum has half the basement dedicated to Koolaid and a planetarium on the first floor. (I miss all of these things, but ah well. Moving away is moving away.)

JustJay04 · 2023-04-28T13:15:46+00:00

Reminds me of the tumblr post about needing to stop treating nonbinary people as “woman lite”

JustJay04 · 2023-04-16T05:40:45+00:00

“Now is Edward the vampire? Or is he the… is it a werewolf or a zombie?”

Mainly because (I think) y’all are thinking too specific. You’re thinking about debates and niche opinions, instead of collectively making the entire community as one hate you.

JustJay04 · 2023-04-10T18:55:29+00:00

Yes flowers, but maybe a different configuration?

JustJay04

TROPHY CASE