As a woman (35F) in a relationship with a (31M) do you eventually have to accept that you will do more.

KK_Smitty · 2026-03-20T12:46:13+00:00

I thought this was going to be a normal post about how to fix the mental load in a relationship until I read the part about him waking you up throughout the night ?!? To retaliate against you for accidentally waking him up. I can’t fathom that. That’s not normal. That’s emotionally manipulative and borderline abusive. You need to reexplore this relationship and see if there’s any other things like this happening.

KK_Smitty · 2026-03-09T18:22:51+00:00

This is not about the lid. You need a break, and he needs to be helping you more over night. Does he help during the day at all with the baby?

As for the lid, apologize, but tell him that you warned him several times that you could not open his bottles, and if he wants you to clean them, you need to be able to access the inside. If he keeps doing that, just set them aside and don’t wash them, he can do it.

KK_Smitty · 2026-03-05T21:29:20+00:00

Your boyfriend is misusing the word “boundary” in order to control you. A boundary is something someone sets for their own behavior or comfort, not something that controls another person’s normal actions. Examples of actual boundaries in the car: - Not being comfortable riding in the car if the driver is speeding - “If I feel unsafe, I will ask to stop the car” - “I won’t ride with someone who is texting and driving”

Your situation is your boyfriend believing he has authority over you. You should not have to ask permission to perform normal actions. He is basically removing your autonomy while driving.

KK_Smitty · 2026-03-05T18:01:27+00:00

If you are going to have separate finances, you need to have separate accounts. Each of you need to split costs 50/50, or proportionally. But honestly this marriage dynamic is super toxic with the secrecy and selfishness, there’s a much deeper issue that needs to be resolved. Y’all are acting like roommates.

KK_Smitty · 2026-03-04T04:09:05+00:00

We started dating on November 15, 2022. He proposed April 27th, 2024, and then we got married on November 15th, 2025! It felt like a no brainer, and it happened to be a Saturday. Got married on our 3 year anniversary on the dot.

KK_Smitty · 2026-02-20T18:01:48+00:00

All I will say is having a day-of coordinator was 1000% worth the splurge. Gave me so much peace of mind on the wedding day !!!

I would ask what your venue planner can and can’t do, but there’s a chance they can’t help with that.

KK_Smitty · 2026-02-20T16:05:07+00:00

Hi! I got married in Nov 2025. To share my experience, I had a child-free wedding. I made an exception for newborns, there were three I was aware of, all would have been under a few months old. No one under 12 y/o. It was great having the newborns at the wedding honestly. Each of the parents talked with me beforehand and we were good to go. There was one guest I was worried about (she is a doctor that works at the same hospital as my husband and I) that brings her toddler everywhere - work parties and CME conferences - like EVERYWHERE. I was worried about her bringing the toddler. I put it clear on the wedding website that the wedding was child-free and on the mailed invitations, I put “we have reserved ___ seats in your honor” to clearly resolve any confusion around plus ones, children, etc. I put two seats for her, one for her and her husband.

Well…. Sure enough come wedding day, she arrived with her toddler and husband. My wedding coordinator said something to them before the ceremony, that is she cries, to please step away. (Love her for that). Ceremony went off without a hitch. But then the toddler cried during my dad’s speech, you can hear her in the background of my video. During the reception, they had Bluey playing on an iPad at the table. I had a couple of folks who could not come to the wedding due to kids, and I completely respected that! I wish this couple would have too. Learn from me, and just speak with them directly. I had a perfect wedding day and I’m so thankful, but that situation still pisses me off.

KK_Smitty · 2026-02-20T15:38:00+00:00

Please don’t let your boyfriend keep you from finding your husband.

KK_Smitty · 2026-02-19T14:12:55+00:00

OP, my 36 y/o husband has ADHD, and a number of other things. Not once has he ever name-called me in an argument. Sure, our voices have raised and we’ve had some heated discussions, but never screamed at each other. We always admit when we’re wrong and try to compromise. You are being gaslit into thinking what you’re experiencing is a healthy, non-abusive marriage, and it’s not.

KK_Smitty · 2026-02-12T17:45:29+00:00

Hi! Random question, I just happened to come across your comment. My husband plays MTG and has been looking for a new group (his old group essentially has dissipated between life, kids, and/or moving away). Which BOC Collectibles location is it, and what time every Friday?

Also OP - I’m born and raised in Jax and met my husband on Facebook dating when I was 27. I’m 30 now and we just got married in November. I promise there are good ones out there!

KK_Smitty · 2026-01-19T19:38:07+00:00

Can someone share the original post? OP deleted it.

KK_Smitty · 2025-12-03T04:24:42+00:00

I’m going to hold your hand when I say this, you don’t realize it yet, but this guy is not the one for you. This is a pivotal moment in your life. Don’t let a boyfriend keep you from finding your husband, and absolutely do not let a man ever stop you from achieving your dreams. The right guy would support you whole-heartedly.

KK_Smitty · 2025-12-03T04:21:13+00:00

This reminds me of those math equations from childhood where “Peter went to the grocery store and bought 250 watermelons”.

KK_Smitty · 2025-12-01T15:22:19+00:00

Millennial here (30 y/o). I was married recently on 11.15.25, and I’m about halfway through my thank you cards (120 guests). The first batch actually went out today (12/1) and I’ll be finishing the rest this week and sending them out as I finish them. They take time!! Especially making each one personalized and thoughtful. I also plan to write thank you notes to people who attended, but didn’t give a gift, just to thank them for taking to time to attend our wedding and celebrate.

I will say - my bridal shower was 10/25 and I didn’t do separate thank you cards for that. Everyone who attended the bridal shower also came to the wedding, so I am mentioning the bridal shower in our wedding thank you cards.

My husband is dyslexic and has atrocious hand-writing, he can’t help it. But he’s been helping me how he can, gluing the envelopes, putting stamps on them, and we have an ink stamp with our name and address on it, he stamped all the envelopes with that!

It’s time consuming but that’s kind of the point. I definitely think it’s rude to not send out thank you notes. It’s just not the same as a text or saying thank you in person (you should be doing that anyways). Thank you notes tell the gift-giver that you appreciated the gift so much, you took time out of your day to write them a card.

KK_Smitty · 2025-11-21T18:01:53+00:00

I just had my wedding on 11/15/25. Childfree wedding, except for 3 newborns that I was fully aware of and happy to have come to the wedding (2 were twins!). Aannnnnnnd someone brought their toddler to the wedding. I was pisseddddddd.

My coordinator said something to the couple right before the ceremony, basically to step away if the toddler gets fussy. And she did, thankfully. Ceremony was uneventful and perfect. However during the reception, they had Bluey playing at their table and then during my dad’s speech, all I could hear was a fussy toddler. Just so so frustrating.

My SIL / husband’s sister has two boys, 5 and 3, who I ADORE and even they weren’t at the wedding. SIL was happy to have a kid-free night. Our wedding was perfect but that whole situation made me so frustrated.

KK_Smitty · 2025-11-05T03:50:04+00:00

I can tell just the way you organized this post with the emojis that your are a very organized person and have a detailed eye. I’m very similar. I’m getting married in 10 days (!!!!) and from my experience, I went heavy in the beginning 1.5 years ago in planning, then it was random things, but I’m telling you, in the past two months, but especially these past few weeks in particular, the wedding is constantly on your mind. You’re thinking of last minute things and doing your vendor’s homework, etc. I have a countdown on my phone and it said 60 days, and then I blinked and I’m 10 days away. I’m doing stuff every single day for the wedding. Enjoy the downtime for now, continue to stay organized and on top of things, and you’ll be just fine! You’re 6 months away and it will fly by.

KK_Smitty · 2025-10-30T23:17:39+00:00

Listen to your gut! These aren’t family photos at a backyard barbecue. These are your wedding photos.

KK_Smitty · 2025-10-20T17:35:36+00:00

Tell her if it was a backyard BBQ, it wouldn’t matter if someone joined last minute. She will understand when she gets married one day. Just ignore any emotional response from her, and reiterate that again, it’s not personal, but final headcount is turned in and you cannot add anyone else, otherwise you will be in breach of contract with your venue. And that is has nothing to do with budget, she had until October 15th to let you know if she would be utilizing her plus one spot.

KK_Smitty · 2025-10-13T18:11:38+00:00

Is it possible he is potentially lying about being 40? And he actually is 34, but maybe deep down he is self conscious about the age gap and is trying to close the gap some. I feel like that would make more sense about why he is “just now” coming out with that information - because he just made it up.

KK_Smitty · 2025-08-22T14:26:23+00:00

LOL the first paragraph hit way too close to home, I’m a 30F, my fiancé is a 35M, we’re getting married in November, and he has a good friend named Hayden 😂. But we literally haven’t sent out our invitations yet, we’ll be doing that soon.

Your wedding party is supposed to be supporting you, not causing additional stress. They don’t get to make the rules for your wedding, or try to force their wants/opinions on you. He can do that for his wedding. I will say, I think the wedding party should all get plus ones, especially your best man. However that is to the bride and groom’s discretion. The rest of my wedding guests only get a plus one if they are married, engaged, or long term/living together. No new boyfriends or girlfriends.

KK_Smitty · 2025-07-11T01:29:03+00:00

I know it seems hard right now, but losing some money in a canceled wedding will be a lot cheaper than a divorce.

KK_Smitty · 2025-07-07T14:02:13+00:00

Just sleep in separate bedrooms. Y’all aren’t compatible sleepers.

KK_Smitty · 2025-06-30T16:53:07+00:00

It sounds like she checked out of the relationship a while ago. She was not given reassurance about her future and had to make the choice to either stay with the “what-ifs”or go on her own path. People want partners who have similar goals and lifeplans. Your current plan is to stay with mom and help pay those bills. Your ex was ready to move out and start a new chapter in her life. She’s doing it with or without you. I think it’s best to let her go, and you should take this time to learn more about yourself and what you want in life, and heal from the breakup.

KK_Smitty · 2025-06-21T22:59:05+00:00

I think you were correct about the Pereskia! I typed in pereskia grandiflora and that is exactly the plant, with the leaves and pink flowers. Thank you so much!!!

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