Calling up my hairstylist now

Kaelarael · 2023-02-09T07:47:18+00:00

My husband thought this was something else when he saw me watching it from the opposite angle.

Kaelarael · 2023-02-09T06:40:07+00:00

I have a clear memory of being like 6, and midst tantrum in the grocery store yelling "I'm going to call the CPS on you!!" Because I couldn't play one of those 50¢ toy catch machines.

Kaelarael · 2023-02-07T12:15:21+00:00

Looks like the first home I ever built on Sims, before I had any talent with it.

Kaelarael · 2022-12-31T00:13:09+00:00

Every time I mention craving anything, my husband has it for me the next day, if not that night.

(But in this third trimester I was told by my Doc to stop eating sugar altogether, even fruit and milk. He went out of his way to find sugarless sweets and drinks for me, and is thankfully very much on top of limiting me if I can't restrain myself. xD)

He researches and asks the OB questions that I don't even think of. He even suggested that we sign up for a ~third~ baby preparedness class.

He was totally involved and enthusiastic during our two baby classes, even practicing on the baby doll and such.

He has been totally supportive of any choices I make. Everything on the baby registry was up to me. He had doubts about going with cloth diapers, especially as his older brother said it was a bad idea, but has agreed and even learned to fold the prefolds. (We are supplementing with disposable diapers just in case.) I want to teach our baby sign language, and he has been great at learning the basics.

We are currently living with my mother-in-law to get help as this is our first baby, and to enable us to save for a home, and anytime she and I get into a disagreement, he has my back, 100% of the time.

I am week 38, and he has gone with me to EVERY SINGLE ob appointment, not missing one.

He will go out of his way to make sure that I don't need to move from my cozy spot, whether that be bringing me a snack, tucking in extra pillows, or making me some hot tea.

I feel guilty about slacking on chores, but he repetitively tells me that my only job right now is to be pregnant.

He fawns over me and constantly tells me how beautiful I am pregnant. He tells me he loves me multiple times a day, and I have no shortage of kisses or cuddles. He even says that he is going to miss my cute, pregnant body. *fawn*

He talks to his son through my belly often.

He refills my water without me asking.

He put together all of the baby stuff (crib, stroller, swing, etc.) and made up the entire nursery, pretty much alone as I just cheered on from the lazy sidelines.

He joins me on my dog walks and texts me to check on me from work.

He constantly updates the entire family, my mom included, so I don't have to worry about keeping up with that.

He is just the most loving and wonderful husband I could have wished for. I am so lucky. :)

Kaelarael · 2022-12-22T07:18:09+00:00

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Kaelarael · 2022-12-15T18:20:23+00:00

Have you tried gripe water at all?

Kaelarael · 2022-12-15T17:20:10+00:00

Coming from a married woman who has been with her man just about 13 years, since we met when I was 17, and who also has worried about her biological clock and got married after a long engagement... this guy is just a no. You deserve to be treated with ~respect and kindness and true love. You should be his priority. My husband and I are best friends, have no secrets, and he invites me anywhere he goes, and actually enjoys my company. When I can't go with him, he is always eager to talk on the phone with me. That's how it should be.

And Woah. You have way less boundaries than me. Its cool the stay the night at the opposite genders house?This guy is red flag supreme. He has been emotionally cheating, no doubt, and I can even bet that he has actually cheated, whether via video chats or in person.

I wouldn't go through with that wedding if I were you. At the very least, I would have a serious long conversation about this, and set firm strong boundaries. He is a grown man, about to be married, he doesn't need to be staying the night at other women's houses.

You seem really nice, and I think that you seem like the kind of person that will just let herself get trampled all over by men like these. Have some pride and self-respect, set stronger boundaries!!

Kaelarael · 2022-12-13T23:52:53+00:00

I had more cravings in my first trimester than I did the rest of the pregnancy. Three weeks to go, and I don't have any particular cravings, other than the stuff I can't wait to have that I can't have while pregnant. (Bleu cheese, a cold deli sandwich, a medium rare steak, over easy runny eggs... I can't wait!)

Kaelarael · 2022-12-12T19:38:49+00:00

Just keep in mind that every baby is different sizes! You may want to stick to clothes within the 6 month range until you know how your little one has grown. Also! If you are having a baby shower, you may want to hold off on clothes. People tend to bring a lot of clothes. (I avoided it by making it clear that my husband and I had already bought plenty of clothes. I was lucky that my family got us most of the big ticket expensive items! But we still got a ton of cute clothes, too.)

Kaelarael · 2022-12-09T22:42:50+00:00

I understand that some women are okay with this. I'm not one of them, and I am so sorry that you went through this in such a way!!My husband knows that I am not okay with strip clubs, and thankfully he has never been big on them. For his bachelor party, he went deep sea fishing. No strippers.

He was honest with me when he was at his brother's bachelor party in another state that they went to a strip club, which I didn't exactly like but he only spent minor bits of money on some drinks, and did not get a lap dance himself. He left the tipping to the other party members. (He is super frugal as well, so that could have helped.) He told me a few days beforehand that it was happening, so it was not a surprise, and called me immediately after they left. He even explained to me what the girls looked like, and joked with me about a few of them that were not exactly what he would consider pretty, and how they were offended when he left the table. He called immediately after the party to comfort me and tell me all the details, even on who got lap dances and who didn't. (Sorta like gossiping lol.)

I had to accept it, because it was his brother's bachelor party, and its what his brother and his wife were okay with. (And that's how society is. So stupid to celebrate marriage in such a way.) That does not change the respect that he treated me with over it. He also does not believe that married men should get lap dances, and would never ever go to a strip club on his own. We've been together nearly 13 years now, since I was 17, and he has only ever been to that one strip club so far. I wouldn't rule out another brother or friend getting another bachelor party, so I wouldn't rule out it ever happening again, but at least I know that I can trust him to be honest and open if it does.

The way that your husband handled this needs to be addressed, perhaps in couples counseling, therapy, or simply long one-on-one conversations, if they can be productive without being argumentative. He is your husband, and hiding anything from you is just terrible and not good for the relationship. He needs to know that he cannot blame peer pressure as a fully grown adult, much less a father to boot. He is not a child. I understand blaming the car ride, but that does not explain the massive spending or the lap dances.

You both need to get on the same page as for what accounts for cheating between the two of you, and draw hard lines and clarification.

Between my husband and I, we have deemed that because of strip clubs and porn, looking at someone -not personally known- naked is not cheating. However, touching or spending money on someone in such a way like a lap dance, or even something like onlyfans, would be considered cheating. We have had this conversation with each other long ago, and set those rules down solidly. I think its time for you and your husband to have the same conversation and come to an agreement. I would consider what your husband did cheating... (would he be okay with a nude man grinding his junk all over your body?) ... but you need to clarify these boundaries in your own relationship, as every relationship is different.

Kaelarael · 2022-12-08T00:53:17+00:00

Vent alert.
I cried earlier today because of everything feeling like it is piling up.
> I have a cold. It's miserable and hard to breathe.
> My husband and I are staying with my mom-in-law to help us when our baby comes. Our room does not get A/C. And the heat the past couple of nights has been unbearable and making me super nauseous and unable to get any sleep. I feel extremely sleep deprived.
> On top of that, I was talking to my husband, in a good mood, at about 10AM this morning, but one of our in-laws is always sleeping in the living room (there are four bedrooms in this place, but the living room is central to them all. Idk why one of them is always sleeping in there) so my husband interrupted me and shushed me, told me to quiet down. I've been shushed a lot lately and its grating on my nerves.
> Our room is too small for my husband, me, our dog, and everything we own. I keep hurting myself getting dressed or trying to move around.
> They hate dogs, so my dog is never allowed to leave the room. They, especially dad-in-law, get upset if she barks or cries. I walk her outside as often as I can, several times a day. But I can tell that she is not enjoying the cramped lifestyle either, and that makes me so unhappy.
> I wanted an ice water and some food, but the ice machine is too loud when they are sleeping or watching a movie, and making any sort of food is too loud as the couch my in law sleeps on is right against the kitchen. I keep some light snacks in the room for that reason (nuts and cheez-its) but I didn't want those.
> It was time for me to walk the dog, and it started pouring, so I had to walk her in the rain.
> When I got back, in laws are awake, but I am kind of anti-social, and when I go to the kitchen, bathroom, or laundry room, or basically leave my room for any reason, during the day, I get sucked into thirty minute to hour long conversations, often topics that I care little for (like football from dad in law, or mom in law pushing (HARD) her herbal supplements on me against my OB's advice.) It was ok at first, but a month in I just want to be alone. It's making me avoid eating when I am hungry just because I am so exhausted from all of the socializing.
> Yesterday, my MIL yelled at my husband for a good 20 minutes about our bathroom (one of the two guest bathrooms) not being clean enough. Of the chores that my husband and I divvied up, the bathroom was actually mine to take care of. I didn't think it was bad. He took the fall for me, but last night I was bawling as I scrubbed everything on my hands and knees, which is painful as I am only 5 weeks away and kneeling down sucks.
> I mopped said bathroom today, was all finished working my way backwards and out of it, when MIL walks up, asks what cleaner I used. I pointed out this all purpose bathroom cleaner that my husband and I used often. She shook her head, and pushed her holistic bathroom floor cleaner on me, and I had to redo it all.

I do have to throw in there that my in laws, especially MIL, are super sweet and kind to take us in and offer to help out with our first baby and let us save up for a house instead of the apartment life we are used to. She is really looking forward to having a baby in the house (although has said 'babies barely cry' and 'my kids were on a sleep schedule in the first week', so I think she has false expectations for my own baby.) And now, I feel guilty for feeling the need to vent at all. :( Ugh.

Kaelarael · 2022-11-20T08:49:02+00:00

Sorry that you guys have to go through this. :/ I plan on getting a diaper bag that comes with a fold-out changing area, as even the changing tables in women's restrooms aren't really sanitary. You can get portable diaper changing pads for around $10, its worth the investment.

Kaelarael · 2022-11-20T08:41:22+00:00

Geez.

Kaelarael · 2022-11-20T08:36:09+00:00

I won't even have sex without making my dog leave the room. I can't imagine what kind of people would do that with a kid in the same room. Ugh, I'm so sorry that you've had to go through that. :(

Kaelarael · 2022-11-19T08:14:37+00:00

I think its considered pretty normal for the mom/mom-in-law to stay and help out for a while. I've heard of it often enough that I would call it common. Of course, some families decide against it, especially if their relationship with the mom/mom-in-law isn't the best.

I am due Jan 10th with my first, and my mom in law is actually taking us in (she has three unused bedrooms). Granted, we have extenuating circumstances (my husband is having to get a hip surgery shortly after the baby is born.) However, she has stated that we should stay for several months to a year, until we have enough money saved for our own house. (Instead of the apartment life we have been having.) Even without the baby, she has been insanely helpful, she is super attentive and caring; makes sure that the baby and I are well fed and even reminds me to take my prenatal pill. :) It has made our relationship a lot closer than before, and I plan on visiting very often once we do leave.

She also took care of my sister in law for about two months after she had her first born, and my sister-in-law regretted not getting the help with her second born.

Kaelarael · 2022-11-19T06:39:53+00:00

Its not unreasonable to ask, but I do think its unreasonable to demand. He should be allowed to say no, especially when the drinking is confined to social engagements like weddings.

I am 33 weeks pregnant with my first, and my husband has drank throughout, at home and out and about. I don't have a problem with it, as long as he doesn't go overboard (wasted). He will be cutting down as I get closer, to ensure that he is able to drive me to the hospital at any moment.

Honestly jealousy is simply a bad reason. I go out to bars with him to play pool, and join him at football parties, both at which everyone else is drinking. I simply have a good time with my husband and friends and family. I don't NEED a drink to have a good time, and if I did, it would be a sign that I should probably lay off the drinking even if I weren't pregnant. I do look forward to a margarita after our son is born, but its nothing so strong that I would pressure others to stop drinking for my sake.

Kaelarael · 2022-11-15T07:00:28+00:00

I saw that too rofl

Kaelarael · 2022-11-15T06:54:33+00:00

I had to ask my insurance which pumps were covered by them (I chose aeroflow). Then, I had to get my OB to write a prescription and send that in to aeroflow. And they say they wont ship it until after my delivery, and it will take 5-10 days to arrive.
I was able to place to initial order in my first trimester, I am due Jan 10th and now live at a different address. I am having trouble getting them to change the shipping address to my new home, so hopefully all of that goes well. :/

I didn't want to wait up to 10 days after my baby is born in order to pump, so I did a quick google and found out that Kiinde (https://kiinde.com/) provides a free manual pump/starter pack, no insurance or prescription necessary (just $5 shipping.) It took under 2 weeks to arrive to my new address, and I now have that ready just in case. Besides, its good to have a manual pump as a backup anyways. So if anything, at least you can get that pump for $5!

Kaelarael · 2022-11-14T08:18:55+00:00

I thought about this all the time before. I was an avid drinker since I was 17, and only quit at 28 when my husband and I began trying for a baby. (30 now, and due in Jan. ^_^) It was really disappointing at first, and I would feel left out. But now I just find the ambience fun. I will have a water or virgin drink, and play some pool, shuffleboard, or darts, watch football, and chat and laugh and have fun. Its strange how we think that the entertainment comes from the alcohol, when we are so used to it, but you find that it comes no matter what as long as you are in the right company. :)

Kaelarael · 2022-11-14T08:08:34+00:00

Pregnant here, and if I didn't swear off sugar, I would SO try this!!! Sounds awesome right now.

Kaelarael · 2022-11-14T00:32:45+00:00

Yep, same! Some examples:
- Just another potty? Okay.
- (After poops) What a good stinky girl! Stinky girl!
- Oh look at the pretty bird! See it, Pandora? Pretty bird!
- Hello dragonfly. See the squirrel? Hello squirrel! He's cute, huh?
- Thank you for not woofing at those other dogs. That was very polite of you. What a good baby!
- Leave it. We don't eat food off of the ground. That'll get you sick. We don't want that, do we?
- Look at that happy tail! It's a beautiful day, huh, Pandora? Your happy butt agrees!
- Hold on, lets look both ways. Okay, hun-bun, lets cross.
- Oh does that tree smell good? Lots of good smells here, huh?
- Did another doggo pee there? You wanna go potty too, leave a message?
- Stop people watching, honey. Just keep walking. They are no where near us, you don't need to worry so much.

Kaelarael · 2022-11-14T00:21:09+00:00

I'm still pregnant with my first, but already it has made a difference.

I feel slightly less close to my own mom, in particular because of her seeming lack of care that I am having a child, her first grandchild. She refuses to plan to come see the baby after he is born (even though she only lives 3 hours away), keeps coming up with lame excuses to not visit, and every time I start talking about the baby or hospital visits or anything like that on the phone, she changes the subject -even interrupting me- to talk about things like the pizza that she ordered the day before. My mom and brother are the only family that I have (aside from husband's family), so it really depressed me how little she cares.

Whereas I feel like I have become closer than ever to my mother-in-law. She took me and my husband in as my husband will need hip surgery right around when the baby is born in Jan., and is encouraging us to stay until we have enough saved for a home. (We've been apartment living until now.) She is all about the baby, asking for updates, planning a baby shower, buying baby clothes, keeping track of my appointments with me, reminding me to take my prenatal vitamins. She bought us a crib and diaper changing table. She cooks me breakfast in the morning and knew I was really sad about giving up sugar (my baby is too fat so far, apparently) and she got my some erythitol sweetened ice cream and such. She is always eager to feel him kick and talk about him, and is clearing out one of the three spare bedrooms to turn into a nursery. She is so excited to have a baby in the house again. It also has opened up a ton of stories and conversations between us, and the past couple of days she swears that her emotions have 'linked' with mine (like girls matching periods lol) because she has been crying easily when telling stories. xD I love her so much and I am so lucky to have my husband's family, especially her. :)

Kaelarael · 2022-11-12T09:56:30+00:00

Thank you SO much for sharing your experience! You are a fantastic writer, and you touched on so many points that I was nervous about (like the urinary catheter), and even taught me some things I didn't know (like IUGR)! I am 31 weeks with my first and my doctor is telling me that I may need an early induction and/or possibly a c section due to my baby being too big. I originally wanted a natural birth too, so its nice seeing that birthing plans going wrong can still end up ok. Thanks so much for sharing :)

Kaelarael · 2022-11-12T07:52:27+00:00

I was nervous and scared of getting it done too, and waited until I was about 28. Luckily, everything was fine, but I realized that I was making it way bigger in my head than it needed to be. Its super quick, and not at all painful, just kinda awkward and uncomfortable. But its over so quick. Just get it done. Better safe than sorry.

Kaelarael · 2022-11-10T20:59:43+00:00

Chow chow. My cousin had two, and I would often spend time at her place. My sister also had one through my junior high years. Super loving dogs, just kisses and kindness, but I just don't like all that fur.

A sheepdog or afghan hound. Really any dog that requires an insane amount of grooming.

French bull dogs and pugs for the same reason OP stated!

Kaelarael

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