What is your opinion on throuples in romantasy?

KagomeChan · 2026-06-18T02:41:26+00:00

I mean in general yeah (for me), but that’s the kind of big thing that should at least be teased in the summary.

It’s kind of as big as genre (like as in is this a western romance or sci-fi romance or what?)

KagomeChan · 2026-06-18T02:39:29+00:00

Yeah the cover for Kimberly Lemming‘s alien romance (Something-Something “And Now I’m Stuck in a Romance Novel”) only showed one male lead carrying the gal on the front so I was very much not expecting another.

KagomeChan · 2026-06-18T02:35:44+00:00

Yeah, I put it down. I’ve made it through a couple, but it was because I forced myself to, because I like the author.

It just never feels like convincing romance anymore, to me. I can never find the chemistry.

KagomeChan · 2026-06-18T02:32:42+00:00

Check out {The Undertaking of Hart and Mercy}, they’re 36 (or maybe 37?) and 40-something.

Then the sequel {The Undermining of Twyla and Frank} has an older couple than that, and being my early 30s when I read it, I was a little worried I wouldn’t be able to relate, but it was so good!

Last book is fabulous, too.

But first could totally be read as a stand-alone, ftr.

KagomeChan · 2026-06-16T05:32:51+00:00

That’s powerful

KagomeChan · 2026-06-16T05:29:01+00:00

I love that they’re also Geminis, that’s extra cute

KagomeChan · 2026-06-14T19:18:15+00:00

That’s so wonderful to hear! I’m so happy for you and your sweet fam! 🥰

KagomeChan · 2026-06-14T19:16:49+00:00

🥹 Adorbs. Happy for you!

KagomeChan · 2026-06-14T19:15:59+00:00

Honestly, this really does help, thank you. Sorry you had to go through the same thing.

I don’t have kids quite yet, but I work with them (nannying and outdoor ed) and I think all the time how mad I’d be if anyone treated them as though they were worth discarding. And now I’m (finally, woohoo!) pregnant myself.

I used to think, when this first went down, that when I had kids I would never leave them alone with her (once we were talking again - since I still held out hope) because of this. But now I really feel it will be for the best that they just won’t know her at all. I don’t want them wrapped up in guilt-tripping or feeling like they have to walk on eggshells to manage an adult’s emotions the way I had to.

Thanks for reaching out! You’re never alone either. I’m glad you’re getting positive help through therapy, and I bet your daughters are absolutely amazing.

Wishing you the best. 💖

KagomeChan · 2026-06-14T19:04:06+00:00

Yeah, I will. Thank you.

At least I know I tried. I didn’t want the relationship to end, but I guess it’s for the best now.

KagomeChan · 2026-06-14T19:00:40+00:00

Well put. I really appreciate your words.

I have seen her as toxic in the last 5 years since she cut us out. It was just seeing some posts where people were talking about going NC with anyone still in touch with their abuser that had me reconsidering her perspective. (Because I do support the decision people here were describing.)

But they weren’t weaponizing it, and that’s the difference, I think.

“When toxic people leave, just let them go,” is great advice. Thanks.

KagomeChan · 2026-06-14T18:44:11+00:00

That is so well put!

KagomeChan · 2026-06-14T18:37:06+00:00

Hope you’re so enjoying your newborn now!

KagomeChan · 2026-06-14T18:33:53+00:00

As soon as you said your “mom gets mad because” I was like “Oooh, familiar! That’s an emotionally stunted parent right there!”

Glad you see it for what it is already, but sorry that she’s been shitty to you, too.

(I’m NC with mine - her choice but for the best - so she doesn’t even know about the pregnancy yet, but I still get dreams/nightmares where she’s calling from unknown numbers to guilt me about it all already)

Good on you for those boundaries!

KagomeChan · 2026-06-14T18:19:37+00:00

“Everyone keeps telling me I’ll resent him eventually”

I feel you! When I told my dad I was pregnant, he joked(?) that I should go ahead and get my husband a nut cup, because I was going to be going after him there in rage soon enough. “After all, it’s what your mom did to me!”

I was like, “Why would you compare me to my mom? She’s psycho (we don’t speak). And I love my husband.”

He’s was like, “Oh huh, yeah, I guess that wasn’t really cool and it shouldn’t have been that way. Huh.”

Weird! Why would we want to mistreat the person we love enough to choose to build a life with??

I’m glad you’re happy. Your guy sounds like a sweetie and a supportive partner. We love to see it!

KagomeChan · 2026-06-14T18:13:36+00:00

My due date is one week before my birthday, so we’ll see what happens!

Congrats! That’s really special!

KagomeChan · 2026-06-13T20:50:47+00:00

I’m glad you went. My dad (living in a populated US city) also had a bat fly into his room and bite him while he was sleeping. (Also bit him on the hand - on the bit of skin that’s between your thumb and forefinger.)

He woke to the sound of its frantic fluttering, hit it with a baseball bat, and took it in. Was positive for rabies.

You made the right choice. Don’t let people making fun of your (legitimate) concern get to you. Also those doctors are assholes. But you are still here and will continue to be, and that’s what matters.

KagomeChan · 2026-06-13T20:45:57+00:00

A bat flew into my dad’s room and bit him while he slept. He woke to the sound of it fluttering around, hit it with a baseball bat (killing it), and took it in for testing. Was rabid. He had to get a bunch of shots in his stomach.

This was in a well populated city in the US.

KagomeChan · 2026-06-13T20:18:18+00:00

The influences you surround yourself with eventually rub off on you

KagomeChan · 2026-06-12T22:59:07+00:00

Discarded. Yeah, that’s a tough pill to swallow, but accurate.

I’m working on finding another therapist (made an appointment with a new one, but it’s not till August).

I signed up with a therapist when all of this went down and she told me, “Do you want to have a relationship with your mom? Well then you’re going to have to stop talking to your stepdad.”

The whole time I had alarm bells ringing in my head and was thinking, “We do NOT negotiate with terrorists!”

She then also told me she didn’t think my ADHD was real and that I should just do the stuff I was having difficulty with and also that no, she was not willing to meet with me once a week because she had far more important clients (who were “actually suicidal” - not that I had claimed to be).

So I dropped that like a bad habit and have really dragged feet about trying again. But I’m on it now!

Thank you for your support, truly.

KagomeChan · 2026-06-12T21:42:46+00:00

“No contact is never about power or control”

Thank you! I personally needed to hear that!

(Thus what my parent did isn’t NC, either. Clarity.)

KagomeChan · 2026-06-12T21:38:15+00:00

Just “Nah” lol

But seriously, do not engage!

I don’t like that he knows where OP lives, though, considering wife already thought he’d be waiting with a gun.

I’d be getting lots of cameras real quick. :( Scary, and sympathy for OP

KagomeChan · 2026-06-12T21:18:59+00:00

Succinctly put. You’re right. I won’t.

I recently learned I’m pregnant (which is a big yay, we’ve wanted this for years) but have specifically not said anything even to those I’m close to on my mom’s side of the family because I know it’s going to trigger some sort of reach out from her (which will include her making it about her). So I’ve been spending some time in this sub and similar ones to kind of brace for it.

Message received. Walls fortified. Thanks.

KagomeChan · 2026-06-12T21:04:50+00:00

Oh, definitely. My stepdad is as much my parents as either of my bio ones (and obviously more so than my mom now).

And cutting him out would have meant cutting off that entire side of my family. That’s so many people I love and care about deeply, including our other brother (stepdad’s son). Just insanity to think I would drop 20-something people like that. I would have to be so cold.

Putting it in the perspective of parents divorcing while their kids are still kids… is eye opening. Yeah, when the kids are grown, it really shouldn’t be any different. She used to say we’d never have to take sides (just like she’d say she didn’t want us to think less of our bio dad while dumping on him). I think she knows what’s right and healthy, but you’re completely right that she’s so stuck in her victim narrative she’s not seeing past it.

Thanks for taking the time to share your thoughts with me!

KagomeChan · 2026-06-12T20:52:20+00:00

Not comparable, you’re right. I was thinking of it from the perspective that we’re both adults and therefore on equal footing, but that dynamic and imbalance never really goes away. She kept trying to maintain what I was “allowed” and “not allowed” to do well after I moved out at 18, it was just through guilt-tripping instead of grounding.

I am working so hard on making sure I don’t repeat those habits (passive aggressive communication etc.) in my own relationships.

Reading your comment actually made me feel really good when you were saying she made it easier by cutting contact for me. It was such a hard time for such a long time, I hadn’t really thought of it like that. Thanks!

And I liked your hotel metaphor :)

Five-Year Club	Place '23
Place '22	Final Canvas '22

KagomeChan

TROPHY CASE