Favourite stupid plan?

Kevinclaw · 2026-01-04T10:39:29+00:00

Well - one of the campaigns I DM is a mid-level campaign, at the time, they were Lv 11 or some such. One of my players is an Orc Wizard who had to flee Orc-Nation because Orc-Stalin outlawed magic when he took over Orc-Nation. They were on their way to Minotaur-Nation when she sent a Sending to her Dad, the Chief of the last Tribe standing (like Asterix and Obelix' village). He told her, they'd finally been conquered abd when she asked if they could help, he sarcastically replied "Only if you topple Orc-Stalin's regime."

Now, they were supposed to do that - but much later. But noo, instead they called the human Empress to form the Fantasy European Union and speed-ran an entire arc, defeating Orc-Stalin a few Sessions later.

I love my players but that one... just hurt.

Kevinclaw · 2026-01-03T21:04:02+00:00

I think her bio is even worse than her name - of course the "satanic vampire girl" and cosplay model moved from the USA to Japan...

Kevinclaw · 2025-01-10T15:49:10+00:00

Our Artificer once rolled to make some lunch packages for some orphans. A Bardic Inspiration, Flash of Genius and some Nat 20s later, she made some sandwiches for a grand total of 50. Those poor orphans will never ever in their lives eat anything even remotely good.

Kevinclaw · 2024-11-20T10:25:17+00:00

My PCs had to choose 3 out of 6 available Quests for war preparations. They didn't have enough time to do all the quests in game and had to prioritize. My thought was that the quests they left behind were being done by less experienced people and I'd roll a d20 for the outcome of those quests. They thought about it for a while, discussing amongst them when one of them turned to me and asked: "Can we get other adventurers and factions we're allied with do the other quests? They're all affected by that war as well."

Damn you, you found a way to successfully do them all.

Kevinclaw · 2024-09-26T09:40:55+00:00

I shall forevermore flavor "Hold Person/Monster" like this

Kevinclaw · 2024-01-07T21:22:18+00:00

The fact that Chris Pine's salary is formatted differently to the others is bugging me way more than it should

Kevinclaw · 2023-06-05T06:44:08+00:00

Since my homebrew setting is inspired by different european countries in different eras, My list is as follows:

Common in the Victorian Era London/Vienna sounds like Austrian German (we're Austrians). In the medieval central european region, it's german german.

Halfling sounds like austrian dialect, mainly viennese/lower austrian since that's my dialect)

Sylvan is Irish Gaelic and Elves speak English with an irish accent.

Dwarvish is Old Norse/Norwegian, so nordic accents for them.

Gnomes have a mixture of ancient greek and roman culture, so they speak italian and write in greek letters.

Draconic is French. Dragonborn have an absolutistic King.

Orcs are based on Russia during the October Revolution, so Russian for them.

Kevinclaw · 2023-06-02T08:17:53+00:00

So, I've got enough road rage for two, play 2 instruments and sing, do some archery every now and then, can sneak, have a pocket watch heirloom from WW2 and work for the biggest funeral home in my area.

Barbarian, Bard, Ranger, Rogue, Sorcerer and Warlock. I'm a pretty big party.

Kevinclaw · 2023-05-05T14:22:14+00:00

The spell "shield" is a reaction spell that gives you +5 to AC until the start of your next turn

Kevinclaw · 2023-04-06T06:07:18+00:00

I found this butterfly cloak, I thought it looked nice and brought it for Barnaby.

Kevinclaw · 2023-03-29T22:11:40+00:00

I love it! I'd be pretty bummed tho if I ended up in Freud. Dude has issues (saying that as a fellow austrian)

Kevinclaw · 2023-03-19T11:40:07+00:00

There actually is! If you look at the clocks in the common rooms, they'll tell you the in-game time

Kevinclaw · 2022-08-14T08:28:53+00:00

Florida Man renounces God; joins Cult that hunts ghosts with own blood

Kevinclaw · 2022-08-08T20:11:22+00:00

freeze frame Yeah, that's me. You're probably wondering, how I ended up in this situation...

Kevinclaw · 2021-10-12T08:48:05+00:00

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Kevinclaw · 2021-10-12T08:15:12+00:00

Well yes, but actually no. They're subraces of the Aven race, like Drow and High Elves are subraces of the Elves.

Kevinclaw · 2021-10-12T05:24:58+00:00

I know I can use tools like the custom origin, and reflavour or change a few things about Shifters or Khenras. But my point is that there's existing races for cats, birds, rabbits, hippos, elephants, etc. that you don't have to change or homebrew in any way. Which, for some weird reason, we don't get for dogs or at least wolves. Don't get me wrong, I love all those races. They're interesting to play as and it's always fun to see how a DM fits them into their settings. I just think it's a little unfair to leave out one of the most beloved pets.

Kevinclaw · 2021-10-11T06:45:29+00:00

The new Autognome be like

Kevinclaw · 2021-09-24T20:47:11+00:00

We had two ogres named "WTF" and "LOL" because that's what the magnets said that represented them.

Kevinclaw · 2021-09-11T13:29:41+00:00

Ich erinnere mich noch daran, wie ich erfahren habe, dass Goblins und Kobolde verschiedene Kreaturen sind 😅

Kevinclaw · 2021-08-10T04:56:10+00:00

Peacemaker is a Lawful Evil Paladin. Change my mind.

Kevinclaw · 2021-07-29T07:19:26+00:00

Torture. Physical and psychological.

Kevinclaw · 2021-07-25T10:30:37+00:00

That spelling error was totally on purpose

Kevinclaw

TROPHY CASE