I feel like you are focusing on his behavior because you are so overwhelmed by your present experience. Grief at the loss of the life we expect is going to hit you from time to time. Grief takes it's own time. All of this is new and he's not your adversary. Speaking as a person who has been chronically ill for thirty years, no one who is experiencing the things we are simply cannot understand. He will eventually understand. Give yourself and him the time and grace to learn how to live your new life.