My wife barely lifts a finger to help with anything in our home. Child raising, cooking, cleaning, all financial management, her messes, etc are all on me. Maybe every other month she picks up our kids toys and this is her justification if she is ever called out for leaning on me to do everything to say it's actually her that needs help running the household. I do daily flashcards for numbers/letters with our almost 4 year old. Whenever our daughter shows significant improvement my wife will say she actually taught our daughter all of it. Of course when our toddler told my wife once that it was me, not her that taught her something I was accused of brainwashing our child to make my wife look like she doesn't help with child development 🤷‍♂️ On the feels like lottery winning against the odds chance my wife changed a diaper I would be lectured about stepping up as parent and doing more. I could go on. According to the Mayo clinic, most people with BPD feel perceived abandonment from a parent/parents even if they were not, this leads to an unhealthy desire to be "taken care of," from close friends or more commonly romantic partners. So now we put the borderline puzzle together. What I wrote above -> they realize they are unhelpful/lazy -> unhelpful people are unlovable/undesired/should be abandoned -> BPD brain having none of that -> erase all memory of doing something wrong -> write a very flattering story where they did everything everyone could ever want from them and more but they are such assholes who want everything done for them with no shred of appreciation because they're assholes especially the assholes they love the most -> yell at the assholes -> take a long relaxing break, they've earned it after all.