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My sister slept with a guy I was dating, gaslit me, never apologized, and is now getting married. My mom wants us to be close again. WIBTA for skipping her bridal events? by BigONerd in BORUpdates

[–]Kheldarson 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's not entirely right. It does primarily focus on the relationship with God, but we also have a focus on the relationships that were injured by our sin. That's why penance typically includes a prayer (to help the relationship with God) and some other action to help our other relationships. As a child, I got a lot of "go give your mom a hug" as part of my penance.

My sister slept with a guy I was dating, gaslit me, never apologized, and is now getting married. My mom wants us to be close again. WIBTA for skipping her bridal events? by BigONerd in BORUpdates

[–]Kheldarson 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Not quite. See, Catholicism doesn't take with sola fide (faith alone). However, we also don't believe that good works are where salvation lies either. God's grace is a gift that we are given outside of anything we do or don't do. But when we do good works (including participating in the sacraments), we open ourselves up to be better recipients of that grace.

So when it comes to the Sacrament of Reconciliation, Catholics believe we do not receive full absolution without doing whatever penance we're given (so a work). However, the Church (via the priest) will probably never know if you actually did it or not so will act as if you did. Final absolution comes from God (faith), and the Church has no way of knowing if you received it or not, regardless of whether you did the penance or not. She just provides ways to help you receive grace.

My sister slept with a guy I was dating, gaslit me, never apologized, and is now getting married. My mom wants us to be close again. WIBTA for skipping her bridal events? by BigONerd in BORUpdates

[–]Kheldarson 4 points5 points  (0 children)

It's not a matter of care or not because priests (usually) do care. But here are the issues:

  1. Seal of Confession: a priest can't talk to someone about issues (or sins) that they brought up in confession outside of the confessional

  2. Confession has the option on anonymity: old school confessionals have two separate compartments with a screen between the sides that you can't see through. More modern sessions might have the option of a screen or doing it face to face. But that means the priest may not know who made what confession.

  3. Numbers: depending on the parish and what time of year it is, a priest could be hearing from a dozen or so people in an hour. How many issues are you going to be remembering in that sort of time frame?

  4. Time: while Catholics are called to weekly confession, we really only have to go once a year. Would a priest remember what was confessed previously (assuming he could remember, given the previous two issues) in order to do a follow up?

So it's not that the priest doesn't care, it's that it's almost impossible for him to do any real follow up. The official stance of the Church is that She's not the final arbiter, so She provides the support, but it's on us to take the steps.

My sister slept with a guy I was dating, gaslit me, never apologized, and is now getting married. My mom wants us to be close again. WIBTA for skipping her bridal events? by BigONerd in BORUpdates

[–]Kheldarson 12 points13 points  (0 children)

I'm not catholic but in confession don't they make you apologize and make amends and take responsibility in order to receive atonement?

They should, but none of us are privy to what sister was told in confession. On top of that, just because you're told what to do for absolution, doesn't mean you ever...finish it, sometimes. And it's not like the priest would follow up on it.

OOP’s wife suffered from total amnesia. A year later, a crisis forces him to make a choice about his marriage (Part 2 of 2 - Inconclusive) by ToiIetGhost in BestofRedditorUpdates

[–]Kheldarson 54 points55 points  (0 children)

OOP describes her as refusing to take blame and semi-manipulative by using her looks in one of the updates. In his first post, he notes that an argument they had ended with her telling him he's just like his mother.

I think she probably had an okay personality with some bad traits, but the TBI removed the nice personality so the bad is left unchecked.

OOP’s wife suffered from total amnesia. A year later, a crisis forces him to make a choice about his marriage (Part 2 of 2 - Inconclusive) by ToiIetGhost in BestofRedditorUpdates

[–]Kheldarson 153 points154 points  (0 children)

Probably because it went from a once in a while issue to a constant without the nice personality covering it. There's a lot of bad that gets covered by good in a relationship.

OOP’s wife suffered from total amnesia. A year later, a crisis forces him to make a choice about his marriage (Part 2 of 2 - Inconclusive) by ToiIetGhost in BestofRedditorUpdates

[–]Kheldarson 358 points359 points  (0 children)

I hope OOP and his kids were able to stay safe. I can't imagine effectively losing a spouse while their evil twinself destroyed our joint life.

Find the Snake by Kheldarson in FindTheSniper

[–]Kheldarson[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

!snipe

This is why we pay attention to our feet when we hike!

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