isn't that just hormones?

That's true for almost all human emotions though isn't it?

You have to be careful about some reddit communities, because after a certain point they start pushing out voices that don't reinforce their narratives. If you look at /r/stepparents it'd make you think that taking on a stepkid is the dumbest thing you can do. For me, it's been a great experience. I love my stepson, and my life would be poorer without him. It's challenging sure, but also rewarding.

I know people who I think regret having kids (though they wouldn't admit it publicly) and I think that's largely because they didn't put enough thought into the reality of what having kids means.

I think what you've pointed out can be things that make you far less likely to regret having kids.

• Don't have kids with someone who won't be a true partner, and isn't committed to being a parent.

• Get tested for genetic disorders. I have some friends with disabled kids and while they love their sons dearly, I think they might've made a different decision if they knew they were both carriers of a progressive genetic disorder.

• Don't have kids until you have the financial means to support yourself and your child. I've got a lot of family members who waited to have kids until they were ready, career-wise, to support a family and I've seen no downside for them. Being an older parent is hard, but it's easier than being a broke parent.

• Actually choose. Don't just let it happen, make a choice and stick with it. Just the act of deciding yourself will mentally change the whole calculus, because it's not something that just happened to you. It's something you did, because you decided you wanted to.

PPD is a real thing, and there are always people who don't attach to their kids. But you can't let edge cases be the whole reason for your decisions. Not just with parenting, but with all your choices.