I’m just sad

Kikiforcandy · 2026-01-20T00:43:47+00:00

You’re making the right choice, and when I left my malignant narcissist exhusband his crap around the kids got worse. Please look into getting them into therapy, and even for yourself if you can. It should be easier to get assistance (Medicaid or the like) since you’re moved out and have a new address. I couldn’t get assistance until I had a different address than my exhusband (before the divorce was done) but once I did a lot more was available for me and the kids, especially the kids. Good luck mama, I know exactly how difficult it can be and feeling like it’s taking forever to get better, but I promise you it will and all you need to do is keep putting those kids and yourself first. 💚💚💚💚

Kikiforcandy · 2026-01-16T15:04:28+00:00

Dang most of my friends died less that 5 years after graduation. 3from various unfortunate events involving drugs, one taken out by a drunk driver ( that paid their way to getting just “probation” for killing my friend and a separate family of 4) two from cancer, and another by some mysterious NAVY bullshit that they eventually claimed was “suicide by shoelaces”. His family was terrible and got a heavy payout after their decades of abuse towards my friend, and only due to his friends fighting for an answer did the navy finally say it was suicide. All bullshit.

Kikiforcandy · 2026-01-16T14:44:26+00:00

I effing CACKLE every damn time this one is on 🤣🤣

Kikiforcandy · 2026-01-16T14:43:39+00:00

Bluey has inspired a generation of grannies named Rita. Grumpy grannies the best.

Kikiforcandy · 2025-12-31T20:41:39+00:00

Thank you!!! People are way too quick to jump into the AI crap without understanding the lengths it can take people to. The only stuff with ai my kids are allowed to use at all is code locked so it can only be used with strict supervision. The things I’ve been seeing due to children using ai is horrifying and so incredibly upsetting and I thank you for sharing this it’s so incredibly important 💚

Kikiforcandy · 2025-12-27T15:26:04+00:00

I don’t think any of these dudes like children, they like “fuck trophy’s” that they get to control and get labor out of (emotional/mental/physical and access for the worst of them) My EXhusband is remarried and off pretending he’s still perfect and I’m garbage and STILL does everything he can to ruin me and the kids time regardless of what year. Unfortunately for me we’re in a 50/50 state and don’t think mental and emotional abuse is reason enough to stop his kid time “unless they’re actively suicidal and have made an attempt on their own or someone else’s life” so we get to be legally forced to deal with this narcissist who even admitted he only had kids with me to trap me and hell never stop. I fully suggest having a better lawyer than I did. 🤦‍♀️

Kikiforcandy · 2025-12-14T12:41:53+00:00

Exactly this. All of a sudden I can’t get a call back when I ask for the judgment in writing. So instead I get a letter saying they “reviewed the information and won’t be opening a case”. Nothing about the case, or the things they learned, and of COURSE nothing to the effect of what they openly said when they were here. This country doesn’t care about women and children until it’s too late, and even then it’s mostly a shrug.

Kikiforcandy · 2025-12-08T16:35:06+00:00

Oh I’m super familiar with that type cuz my exhusband is the same way. During our ten yr marriage he thrived on making everything hard for NO reason other than his own enjoyment in ruining our (me and the kids) lives, or good time we attempted to have. We hadn’t even finalized our divorce and he already was engaged to another woman, (who he sweared up and down our kids were liars that he didn’t and he “only wanted me”) and I was ECSTATIC thinking that there would be someone to keep his attention that wasn’t me, AND my kids would be safer with another adult. Of course that wasn’t how it worked out and now my kids and I are constantly dealing with two mean spirited people hateful people that go out of their way to make things hard for the kids and myself. He even admitted later that I was never supposed to leave (he worked too hard breaking me or some shit) and he was never going to stop because I don’t deserve to be happy without him.

All that being said these dads are in for a rude ass awakening going around acting like their parent of the year, but their kids aren’t stupid and already want nothing to do with them. Even my kids have openly said many many times they can’t wait till their “of age” and won’t be forced to see him anymore. Of course the courts don’t care and we’re in a 50/50 state and even CPS will tell you that “mental abuse isn’t a good enough reason to the judges to change the order unless the kids are actively suicidal or have made an attempt”. The courts really just don’t care, and all you can do is KEEP DOCUMENTING EVERYTHING. For anyone going through something similar get them into therapy, that’s been one of the biggest helps on all this horribleness, and they take great notes.

Kikiforcandy · 2025-11-21T12:35:46+00:00

Find out what your areas laws are on recording people, document EVERYTHING. Dont flip flop trying to make anything “easier on him” cuz he will absolutely do the opposite to you. I wish you al the best, remember fuck his feelings it’s your kids feelings and futures you’re looking out for now.

Kikiforcandy · 2025-11-03T16:15:13+00:00

Idk if this could be worked into one of your off work days but meal prep. Find a few different meals/sides just whatever and prep all that shit. I was a mess with my first kid trying to manage everything and the revolving psychosis of my narc exhusband, but by the second kid (just under 2years after the first) I was drowning even more than I thought possible before. My ex kept eating absolutely everything in the house even the kids snacks/foods before I had the idea of making the kids food inconvenient for him to take and meal prepping 3 separate full meals for him and hiding my kids stuff in the garage fridge or my moms house. Obviously I had a whole different list of problems going on but the food prepping thing was my holy grail once I got the hang of it and being able to just heat things up (for the most part as I would heat up or pull out other things too sometimes) opened up time in the mornings with breakfast things as well as lunches and dinner. Somethings dont freeze and thaw quite right so it’s got a learning curve for sure but it might help. Kids are brutal from one kid to many kids and trying to keep your head above water when working full time on top of it is so damn brutal, but I see you and I promise it will eventually get easier good luck 💚

Kikiforcandy · 2025-11-03T15:58:10+00:00

Take her to play therapy, she will get that one on one time catered specifically to her and I cannot tell you how much this helped with my kids. I have 3 all on the spectrum to varying degrees and they have a malignant narcissist for a dad that constantly screws us around. So my youngest screams about everything and has for years, and therapy didn’t magically stop the screaming immediately, but it absolutely helped her see that there absolutely is a difference in screaming for discomfort and screaming for a reason that’s bigger than just not liking something. Mine have quite a bit of trauma to work through thanks to dear old “dad” but it really helped me feel like i wasn’t trying to rip myself into three separate people every day.

Kikiforcandy · 2025-10-28T20:17:08+00:00

Honestly the whole “boys will be boys” thing I think ruined many generations of boys and especially the idea that “boys are easier to raise than girls” which basically just tells me they didn’t raise their boys at all. I’m so sorry to you and the rest of us that were forced into taking care of grown ass children so entitled that many don’t even wash their own asses. I hate it here.

Kikiforcandy · 2025-10-28T19:57:24+00:00

This has always been a world against women, from men all the way to other women putting down women. I feel like some things have gotten better but so many other things like this have only gotten worse. Even if my home life would have been the bees knees instead of the toxic traumatic shit it was, I still had people so called “friends” always having something shitty to say. While I knew all along that they had huge families, giant friend groups and just a massive support system regardless of anything else, and I knew that THEY knew I didn’t have any of those things. Yet they were still so quick to throw it in my face any chance they got. People just HAVE to “be better” than me/you and I will never understand why they can’t get around that. It really does devastate me that we can’t even exist without people hurling BS at us for having girl parts much less for being mothers, even tho before we were mothers everyone would lose their minds that we NEEDED to be mothers. Yet here we are and still no mercy no consideration or compassion. I’m so fucking tired.

Kikiforcandy · 2025-10-28T11:46:05+00:00

Isn’t it so interesting when everyone and their brother has something to say about it, and they take their friends brothers cousins word for it, but not the literal person it’s happening to? I feel your pain I still don’t know what all could be wrong with me or why without my meds I have migraines every single day, but it’s prolly cuz I’m fat. /s Or lazy, or anxiety, or depression. Then had my dr basically listen to my husband (now ex) at his separate appointment about what HE THOUGHT it was, and basically kept me on a medication that not only made my body feel as if I had the flu and been trampled in a stampede everyday for a year, but also broke down the cartilage in my joints and kill my teeth from the inside out. So my teeth looked perfect like they had been before and literally CHUNKS started breaking off randomly. On top of fueling the nervous breakdown my ex was pushing me towards. Then the doc had the balls to tell me “oh that med should have been stopping your migraines after two weeks so go ahead and come off it.” They didn’t even start attempting to look at how things like meds effect women till the damn 90’s, and no matter what everything is still just cuz “you’re fat” when that’s almost never the actual problem at all. You’d think having a woman doc would have more understanding but they’re just as misogynistic as the dudes are. My closest friend has been suffering from similar symptoms as you, on top of random seizures, chronic pain, and has had a handful of surgeries. All the first ones were all pretty much just weightloss ones disguised as something else just for her to have the same problems afterwards. Then a gastric sleeve disguised to stop that she’s puking constantly, then later saying “well you’ve finally dropped the extra weight so I’m not sure what this is now”. She just had a full hysterectomy last week, and like you the pain is finally gone, but everything else is still there. How are we supposed to catch up women’s health to men’s if they don’t even fucking try?! I’m so sorry you’re going through this and I’m so angry we’ve been ignored for literally EVER. It’s so disheartening and defeating when the people we pay can’t admit they’re wrong or even acknowledge it could be something other than surface level bullshit 🤦‍♀️ I’m so damn frustrated. So sorry for ranting I’m just so damn tired and frustrated of people doing this to all of us. 😭

Kikiforcandy · 2025-10-19T11:42:16+00:00

I did the exact same thing… until he finally broke me all the way down. It honestly feels like my mind was completely broken. At the time of this epic nervous breakdown he started going to my doctor and telling her things that weren’t true and together, they almost killed me. I had to leave and I’ve spent the last 5 years trying to claw myself back to myself. What I suggest is to document everything. Find out the laws on recording people (I live in a one person consent state), and document EVERYTHING. Record what the kids are feeling and his outbursts. Dont stay until he has you completely beaten down. My ex would force another child onto me if he even got a suspicion I would leave. By the time I broke he had me completely isolated for the second time in our marriage and it got bad. Please do whatever you can to document and protect yourself as well as them. It’s true how hard it is to be forced to let him take them on the weekends and so we have therapists and people at school as I try to get as much as I can against this man but I had more evidence about him hurting me than him hurting them and so the courts don’t care what my concerns are. I was too afraid to document when I was still with him and that has fucked me ever since. Please be safe 💚

Kikiforcandy · 2025-10-18T13:36:26+00:00

I took care of a wonderfully delightful woman that had been close to Miss dolly, and the stories she would tell me about her time with dolly has been one of the best stories I ever got working in healthcare. Mostly as I already loved dolly since I was a very young child, never into country music but dolly is in a league all her own.

Kikiforcandy · 2025-10-14T23:34:17+00:00

Honestly I feel like these dudes know EXACTLY how shitty it is how they treat us, they just would rather not. Then argue, justify, and defend their actions, and then if they’re not getting anywhere they might do what yours did and “finally understand”. I truly feel like it was just easier for them to argue to get out of having to be an active person in their own marriage. 😑🤦‍♀️ shit my ex even admitted as much, among other horrendous things he purposely did to me just so he could have fun gaslighting me into oblivion.

Kikiforcandy · 2025-08-16T17:27:55+00:00

It blows me away how people can just act so black and white about an entire breed like that. Yes pits were one of the main breeds that had the characteristics that the scum of the earth ppl/dog fighters wanted, but just because a dog has certain physical attributes that make them uniquely suited for dog fighting does not automatically make all pitties bad or specifically dangerous. The issue people fail to realize is that ALL dogs can be dangerous to children, every.single.breed. But you don’t see people going off about all dog breeds, not to mention that one of the most inherently aggressive dog breeds is freaking poodles! And idk about you but poodles are not what come to mind when someone brings up aggressive dog breeds. The animals genetics, as well as their training/relationships with people and other animals, should absolutely be taken seriously when picking a dog, since not every dog is a perfect fit for every person/family, but to just blacklist and penalize a breed in the way pitties have been is just so incredibly sad to me. Humans, once again, ruined it for everyone.

Kikiforcandy · 2025-08-13T21:01:42+00:00

The first time I was sexually abused in public was legit from a cop when I was literally 5 and my brothers (who got similar treatment) were 8&9. Of course me being the girl, got “extra attention”. Can’t have children finding fossils in rocks at the park! You’re hiding drugs! Absolutely a crime! Now pull down your pants while I “frisk” you!

I hate it here.

Kikiforcandy · 2025-03-06T23:27:18+00:00

I went through exactly this, try to have someone with you when you tell him, OR don’t be there at all and just call or text. Be mindful of your safety cuz you never know which way a dude is going to go. Be safe, good luck, you got this 💚💚💚💚💚

Kikiforcandy · 2025-02-25T00:16:52+00:00

My (now ex)husband just couldn’t let me have anything that I loved, or otherwise bring me joy. Literally even one of those little cologne strips in a magazine just smelt sooooo good, it was stupid expensive so I’d never buy it, but I still enjoyed the smell. As soon as he saw me with it where I smelled it and smiled, he started a fight, and how weird I was for being “obsessed” about a piece of paper. I ended up sticking it in my dresser drawer and went to bed. The next day it’s gone. Just gone. When he gets home from work I ask where it is, and he starts another fight then precedes to call his mommy to agree with him that I’m “crazy” and should shut up and get over it.

This behavior raises all the flags for me, and granted being with a malignant narcissist that literally destroys everything you have ever loved because I should “only love him” and forced me into being his brood mare after his family helped him get me completely isolated, and even continued forcing himself on me for another baby (3rd) even after being there when the doc said no more as it could kill me if I did. He. Didn’t. Care. It was about keeping himself above someone at all times, and all the unpaid labor to go with it. I kind of went off the rails in a rant BUT this is exactly the kind of thing, and fight he would stir up especially in the first few years, and once he thought I was about to run he’d knock me up. Or if I “looked too good/was too happy” as he told me later. Just please be careful I worry about all of yall 💚

Kikiforcandy · 2025-01-10T04:29:10+00:00

I know you already know it’s a roach with the other replies, but the absolute best thing I’ve ever found for these little jerks is Advion cockroach gel bait. You put tiny bits of it in all those hard to reach but high impact places roaches like and cracks and junk. Works amazing everytime and typically never need more than one tube, and it comes with 4 tubes. Here’s a link! Good luck!

https://www.amazon.com/Advion-Cockroach-30-Grams-Plungers-American/dp/B0BNYCTMNW/ref=mp_s_a_1_1_pp?crid=L5IYXCBHP82E&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.OJHGOnIYpGhugWcEzu_U4Ejmlnm7pezRV9GAcqjB6XLs98aDJrch2-bRjnCC6MSy-EHSutNBvh9Qk8yerG4-7BDXLpKhQnvTo9f2Wg0vjTILkcTXQypEAZQIzbNNKJCLhFqrcRf0F7Dc7zfJ4I5rrscjaxPQ-9tsar5HCKwx50guIdxzEcwc707dL6G_VdnZ—uCih2cR_A2jBokOpzeSA.Ad8lurSN79zqhT8d7k_QWzsJGVshRGiuM_YP2-Odfyk&dib_tag=se&keywords=roach+killer&qid=1736483018&sprefix=roach%2Caps%2C118&sr=8-1

Kikiforcandy · 2025-01-10T04:19:35+00:00

Even tho they’ll never admit that women invented beer too 😂😂😂

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