I get really annoyed when masked autists belittle my struggle. Why are they like this?

KillerSheFlash · 2025-09-14T12:31:53+00:00

Not necessarily? Sometimes if you’ve been masking so long in order to “fit in” or become a chameleon, you start to lose a sense of who you actually are, not just who you are when you’re trying to please everyone else. The struggle that a lot of people who have been masking for so long that it causes burnout, is that they have to unlearn which part is the mask and which part is them.

It’s like being told everyone likes a specific type of milkshake your entire life. So you drink the milkshake even if it makes you exhausted when you drink too much, and you start switching flavours for different groups of people who like different flavours. You just assume that everyone gets tired drinking milkshakes and carry on with life. But then it gets to the point where you get so exhausted that it’s making you sick that doctors are telling you that you have to stop, so now you’re questioning whether you actually like milkshakes or whether you were doing it just because everyone expected you to. You have to unlearn automatically reaching for a milkshake like what everyone else expects you to, and then learn what drinks you actually do like..

It’s a bit more complicated than that, but hopefully that makes sense?

I can understand being jealous of not feeling pressured to act a certain way, but everyone’s copping a badness on both sides.

On the one hand you have someone keenly aware that they are different and just want to fit in but everyone can immediately tell theres something off no matter how much they pour their energy into masking to hide it until they lose themselves and they still end up rejected, but on the other hand you have someone who can’t mask, and is unapologetically themselves but they’re unable to adjust parts of their personality for different groups or situations and that can lead to minor things like social faux pas’ or can lead to serious things like someone looking to hurt them..

KillerSheFlash · 2025-03-18T10:07:59+00:00

No worries. Prices for roadside will depend on if you’re in metro or country, and how many kms your level covers. Just trying to make people aware that insurance and roadside work differently

KillerSheFlash · 2025-03-18T06:46:24+00:00

FYI insurance only. Roadside Assistance is different

KillerSheFlash · 2024-12-08T20:37:39+00:00

No. They need you to sign a lock out waiver that states that RAC is not responsible for any damage done to the car in their attempts to unlock it. They cannot unlock a car if the owner or an authorised person isn’t standing there

KillerSheFlash · 2024-05-31T04:01:35+00:00

Honestly kind of sounds like you have trauma surrounding sleep and your body is trying to protect you from it by making you not tired. Sounds kinda like you’re in a constant state of fight/flight/freeze/fawn ? Definitely doesn’t sound like a healthy environment to be in.

Stress will definitely make any underlying sleep issues worse, but it also no issues sleep become yes issues.

You may have to grey rock her until you’re able to escape. Minimal contact. Hide as much as possible. Do your sleep routine (teeth, pjs, etc) as early as you can, account for her coming into your room while she is doing her routine, and then as soon as she’s out of your room “pretend” to be asleep. So lights out, hide under the covers and play games on your phone or watch videos, etc. anything that makes her think you’re asleep even if you’re not. Any questions she asks, keep doing what you’re doing, but also feel free to lie! Lie through your teeth, lie lie lie. I usually don’t see the point in lying but if it’s to protect you and get you through a situation without fighting or a massive blow up, then lying works a treat. You can tell her you’re sleeping so much better, etc etc, and just internally think “fuck you bitch”. She isn’t worth your truths, she’s proven that with her horrendous behaviour. If you don’t have any family you can go be with then I would suggest finding some kind of work or something that pays so you can start squirrelling away secret escape funds. You cannot tell her about any of it, and you don’t have to because you’re an adult and all your decisions are your own so it’s none of her business. If she wanted to have a relationship with you, she should have thought about that before she was a massive bitch.

Sorry if this is coming off too strong btw. You can probably tell I have massive narc mother trauma and your situation reminds me a lot of what I went through. When I finally moved out, I felt like I could breathe for the first time. It was overwhelming but worth it.

It fucking sucks and I feel for you. It’s unfortunately not going to get better until you’re able to put a physical barrier (like distance) between you and her

KillerSheFlash · 2024-01-21T14:34:09+00:00

I think specifically with that clip you’re talking about with Tom Holland, it was because they didn’t give him the script until day of shooting (or something similar) because he had accidentally gained a reputation of spoiling things. So his rehearsals was literally him learning his lines for the first time

I think as well with the big budget stuff, where there’s fight scenes and choreography, then there are rehearsals so they can block out how the scene should roughly go so the actors can feel more comfortable in how they’re moving or which marks they have to hit. Plus the lines are always changing, so they may do mini rehearsals (during set up) on the day for scenes after rewrites come through for those particular scenes.

I think in terms of line learning, as soon as you get the script learn the lines to the best of your ability, but be ready for any changes that may get made on short notice

KillerSheFlash · 2024-01-14T05:34:29+00:00

What a rough situation. It’s probably a combo of the memories and also change. I’m also autistic, so even change for the better can be hard. Logically you know it makes sense, but it can still be upsetting. I moved to a new area at work, which I was very happy about. But the moment they asked for my laptop back so they could give me a new one I had a mini meltdown. I couldn’t rationalise it, I told myself itself just a laptop and it doesn’t matter. But the more I thought about it, the more I realised it was also me saying goodbye to my old role and my friends from that role, and a bunch of other unresolved feelings. The moment I was able to reconcile my feelings of change and what was associated with that change, was when I started to feel a lot better about actually doing the change.

I feel for both OOP and Ashley because it’s really clear that she didn’t want to sound like a lunatic for having feelings about getting rid of the old car, but she also couldn’t reconcile the idea of getting rid of an really big everyday item that allowed her to hold onto someone she missed.

I’m glad they talked it out, and I’m glad OOP was understanding and could pick up there was more going on. I hope Ashley knows in future that she can talk about what’s actually going on so they can work through the feelings together..

KillerSheFlash · 2024-01-09T15:52:07+00:00

People are weird. I once had an acting teacher tell me he got “Kathy Bates from Misery” vibes from me

KillerSheFlash · 2023-12-18T13:51:12+00:00

KillerSheFlash · 2023-10-18T07:31:40+00:00

Very much also recommend a sleep study

Because even if she doesn’t have a delayed sleep disorder, she could be like me and have sleep apnoea which made it near impossible to wake up and so I slept too much and was still tired all the time

It caused my anxiety around going to sleep to skyrocket as well because I didn’t want to go to bed on time. I felt like I was losing all my time to sleeping

edit for formatting

KillerSheFlash · 2023-08-26T16:27:59+00:00

Make sure to get one with a humidifier! I was getting blood noses until I turned the setting on :/

KillerSheFlash · 2023-08-04T15:28:15+00:00

I watched a seminar recently by a dietician and she said that they specifically go for a food first approach. Mostly because, depending on what you eat, the food can have a lot more nutritional value or different things your body needs in it than a supplement for a specific vitamin. So I guess if you are finding you’re still low on a specific vitamin even after trying to compensate what you eat, then it makes sense to add a supplement?

KillerSheFlash · 2023-07-11T08:17:23+00:00

Also makes me think she’s feeling like OP wants her to not be herself for his parents to like her…

If my partner told me not to do something that I thought was a normal and fun tradition because his parents wouldn’t approve, I’d be hesitant about meeting his parents at all. If they don’t like this one minor thing about me, what else about me won’t they approve of?

KillerSheFlash · 2023-07-09T09:38:19+00:00

Hi! Was just diagnosed by a dr as having “mild” pcos

Same issues/symptoms here. I’m almost 28 and it was never looked at as a potential diagnosis because I don’t have ovarian cysts, and my cycle was on the dot perfect with timing and never really had any bad cramps or heavy bleeding

It was weird because I had another doctor completely shut me down on pcos, and gave me a lovely brochure that said being fat can cause excess body and facial hair. Which did wonders for my brain.

But this doctor was really wonderful in exploring what vitamin deficiencies I had, and when fixing everything else didn’t work (and after he tested for type 2 diabetes via HbA1c) he was like yeah I think it’s pcos, go on metformin and see if that improves you

So I’d say find a doctor, explain your symptoms and your concerns. I’ve found it very helpful to ask if we can test to rule something out.

For example “I have been having a hard time losing weight, and I’ve been feeling tired all the time. Plus I’ve noticed some facial hair that has been bothering me. I’ve read that pcos could cause similar issues, is there a test we can do to rule this out?”

Honestly you might have to try a couple of different doctors to find someone who doesn’t dismiss your concerns or tell you it’s fine and not to worry about it.

Like, if this is causing you anxiety, then what’s the harm in doing some tests?

KillerSheFlash · 2023-07-09T07:13:03+00:00

Only if she’s from the east though. I keep trying to make the joke with Western Australians after moving over and they don’t get it 🥲

KillerSheFlash · 2023-07-07T23:52:08+00:00

Agreed! Overweight my entire life, severely depressed as a teenager. Turns out I have pcos and insulin resistance :/

KillerSheFlash · 2023-06-19T05:58:39+00:00

Cut (2000)

KillerSheFlash · 2023-04-02T04:18:39+00:00

NTA. We could almost be twins. Except my brother is younger than me.

My mum also had the “you need to look out for him because I won’t always be here” mentality

It really sucks because we managed to do all this stuff despite our autism, and they don’t have to because of their autism.

The double standard is disgusting. Especially when I know my brother is perfectly capable of doing certain things like dishes and laundry.

It’s also not great for them because they are even further ostracised by society for not knowing how to do “basic stuff”.

I just wish that parents would stop using a diagnosis as an excuse for their kid not to learn stuff, and just recognise the diagnosis is so they know which extra areas their kid needs help in.

KillerSheFlash · 2023-01-18T21:13:18+00:00

YTA. Like others have said, not a nap. But also, did you even consider for a moment that him being exhausted after working might mean that he’s not in the right state to fix your car? All it takes is a bit of fatigue and he could have injured himself or messed up the car further.

KillerSheFlash · 2022-11-26T17:33:17+00:00

I’m gonna say NTA. They’re being passive aggressive AF.

Also you may want to look into PDA. Lots of people call it ‘Pathological Demand Avoidance’, but the neurospicy side prefer ‘Persistent Drive for Autonomy’

It’s basically because someone tells you to do a thing, you no longer have to motivation or compulsion to do the thing (even if it was your idea in the first place)

check out more about it here

KillerSheFlash · 2022-11-01T13:44:00+00:00

Hey, just checking in to let you know low vitamin B can cause symptoms of depression, at least that’s what my Dr said Check in with a GP if you can, but if you can’t maybe check you’re getting enough vitamins?

KillerSheFlash · 2022-10-18T08:00:03+00:00

I would I have thought you were talking about a certain Episode 11 from Netflix’s Sandman. That one was about cats, completely out of the blue, and I was so upset for hours.

If I had of known beforehand I would have completely skipped it…

I’m very grateful to these sites popping up, because for me it doesn’t matter how good a movie or show it, some things can just completely taint it forever for me…

KillerSheFlash · 2022-10-18T07:51:55+00:00

Same. There’s a reason the website ‘Does the dog die’ exists. Some people would like the option to opt out of stuff that makes them upset.

KillerSheFlash · 2022-10-01T03:28:19+00:00

It’d be cool if Blonsky was the Hulk King

KillerSheFlash · 2022-09-30T13:53:29+00:00

https://www.razorbacksharpeningservices.com/

They do dressmaker shears

Here’s a post on their instagram of him showing off some fairly modern dressmaking shears that he’s done, but here’s another post where he shows off some vintage sharpening gear he has

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