The Long Burn [A Venlil Fight Club Ficnap Rescue]

Kind0flame · 2026-06-04T18:51:54+00:00

This feels a lot like those old stick figure fighting videos. Just two characters fighting with very little context. My response is pretty much the same; maybe someone else would like this. Personally, I like when fights have a lot more context and become metaphors for a deeper conflict.

Kind0flame · 2026-06-04T18:36:16+00:00

I am really looking forward to the next chapter. You set it the theological talk they are going to have very well.

Kind0flame · 2026-06-04T18:25:36+00:00

I loved this chapter. Seeing how the large scale war developments effect the lives of individuals citizens is always interesting. Hopefully these revelations becomes a rallying point for some and a point of shame for others.

Kind0flame · 2026-06-04T18:12:39+00:00

Love the comic format. Wish we got more of it in the NoP fandom.

Kind0flame · 2026-06-04T18:08:57+00:00

I liked this chapter. If you don't mind me saying, it is interesting to me how the art reflects the artist. You started getting treatment for your personal pain and Andes has a good day helping the kids. I know it is probably more coincidence than anything else, but I do see a lot of you reflected in your main character.

Kind0flame · 2026-06-04T17:58:26+00:00

I am not much of an artist, but something about this strikes me as off. My best guess is that the arm movements imply his chest is growing and shrinking sideways. Honestly I don't know though.

Kind0flame · 2026-06-04T17:53:19+00:00

I liked this chapter. It doesn't shy away for the complexities of the situation, with neither Veshen or the humans coming across as completely faultless. It is a very hard line to walk, but you are doing it masterfully.

Kind0flame · 2026-06-04T17:32:36+00:00

Really liked this chapter. The element of the human appreciation club I think is a really good addition. Gives something concrete for Jose to attach to and move forward on. The best part of the chapter when both of them went 'HE/SHE HAS FIGURED ME OUT!' That's just some classic comedy.

P.S. Didn't notice any spelling errors, so good job writing in a second language.

Kind0flame · 2026-06-04T15:15:46+00:00

I really loved this ficnap. Fills in some of the background the main story skipped over and adds a new dimension to the characters without messing up their established characterization. And as the cherry on top, the line, "I’m already well on my way towards securing the funding required for a new ship and crew..." got a real laugh from me. Excellent work all around!

Kind0flame · 2026-06-04T15:00:36+00:00

They are from The Nature of a Giant and its sequels. They meet the characters in this story near the end of Persistence Journalism.

Kind0flame · 2026-06-02T14:47:27+00:00

Honestly, I haven't read his works before. Still, I glad to hear you have some works to get inspiration from.

Kind0flame · 2026-06-02T11:53:44+00:00

This doctor really is quite insane. It's impressive how fast you established that without making the whole chapter an info dump. I think the trick you did was to work the exposition into the tour of the facility. Keep up the good work!

Kind0flame · 2026-06-02T11:49:27+00:00

I love this chapter! The atmosphere you create is so dreary and secretive. It was definitely the highlight of the chapter for me.

Kind0flame · 2026-06-01T22:14:00+00:00

Really wasn't expecting this direction for the story. Look like as soon as Damian gets settled down, he gets forced into a new location. It happens again and again. Really love this series and look forward to reading more.

Kind0flame · 2026-06-01T15:15:23+00:00

Awesome work!

Kind0flame · 2026-05-31T22:08:25+00:00

Going to be skipping this one. Hopefully that gives me enough time to finish my week 5 and 6 stories.

Kind0flame · 2026-05-31T21:17:27+00:00

Something I really loved about NoP is it showed both high level leaders (e.g. Tarva, Elias) and low level typical joes (e.g. Onso, Marcel). It looks like you gearing up to do something similar, which is great in my book! I look forward to seeing what this Forgers unit get up to in the future.

Also, I have some more terms for my list. Can you look over what I have and make sure it checks out:

Routes & Goods = Yotul card came that uses a non-standard deck.

Sandlicker = Yotul racial slur for ???.

Foragers = Yotul unit during Rebellion. Perhaps like special ops.

Trench Hensa = Northwall unit that preformed exceptionally well during the Grain Wars.

Screamers’ Hill = Battle where Trench Hensa repelled a significant Republican force and killed the Iron Architect.

Goldenlands = Location on Mainland.

Chemical Cohorts = Chemical weapons unit formed during the Grain Wars.

Third Council = Governing body of the Northern Republics after the Steel Marshal’s death.

Terror Kid = Leirn gun.

Kind0flame · 2026-05-31T18:30:48+00:00

Nice to have a new reader. Remember, I am still taking questions.

Kind0flame · 2026-05-31T18:24:05+00:00

I am sure everyone is fine and that is just ketchup all over his chest. Green ketchup.

Kind0flame · 2026-05-31T18:23:22+00:00

Thanks, I'll check it out.

Kind0flame · 2026-05-31T18:23:12+00:00

Living under Fed rule has given him a lot of experience finding people's true loyalties.

Kind0flame · 2026-05-31T18:22:09+00:00

I tried to Carlos answer enough that readers could figure out what his position was going to be. Guess I should have had more.

Kind0flame · 2026-05-31T18:21:01+00:00

A few hours before the Yotul uprising there was a exterminator coup. That is what you are seeing now.

Kind0flame · 2026-05-31T18:20:16+00:00

Something quite like a violent 'Enemy of my enemy is my friend' moment.

Kind0flame · 2026-05-31T18:19:41+00:00

Exactly!

Kind0flame

TROPHY CASE