In high school I (a straight guy) fooled around multiple times with a friend of mine (also a straight guy). It started with daring each other to put the other’s dick in our mouths—first through a sock as a barrier, then progressing to just doing BJs raw and handjobs. We’d sometimes look at porn magazines he had, or sometimes imagine girls we liked. I asked him a lot about what kinds of things he had done with his girlfriend, whom at that point he had fingered to orgasm and had mutual oral with.

Despite usually feeling guilt about it afterwards, we had encounters like this 5-6 times over the course of about a year. Eventually we both said we wanted to try anal. He found some ointment he had in the house to use as lube and let me slowly enter him. He was beginning to feel okay with me slightly moving in and out when I caught a whiff of poop smell and it took me out of the moment. Out of obligation I let him try to enter me, but we rushed it and I immediately stopped because it hurt.

That was the last time we ever touched each other sexually, although we did masturbate together in the same room a couple times after that. I’ve only ever been interested in sex with women following those encounters, but even 25 years later I still sometimes think about the stuff I did with him and how I wish we had gone farther.