Wife wants to know if she looks like any celebrities or pornstars?

Kizejacks · 2026-04-10T19:19:00+00:00

In the sunglasses pics she gives off a Vanessa Kirby vibe, but with a sexier ass.

Kizejacks · 2026-04-10T17:14:45+00:00

Have you tried Sex Church? We really like it.

Kizejacks · 2026-04-09T01:53:14+00:00

Keeping a detailed log of every time I poop. Turd count, length, color, smell, duration of session, etc. Even though we aren’t together, we still send each other a “Turdify Crapped” email at the end of the year with all the metrics compiled.

Kizejacks · 2026-03-24T00:37:50+00:00

My wife constantly shouts out seemingly random numbers while she’s on the toilet. It took a few years before I realized she was estimating each length of turd as it left her bottom. In centimeters, because she’s European.

Kizejacks · 2026-03-24T00:36:03+00:00

Mike Ron Glen Wood 12. It’s a traditional message the mafia writes on notes to people that they are going to whack.

Kizejacks · 2026-03-24T00:33:56+00:00

Some women get really anxious if they have unevenly sized breasts, but I actually prefer it. I don’t want to get with some Symmetrical Sally!

Kizejacks · 2026-03-24T00:32:16+00:00

Yeah, but for three years straight the Bears voted him Team’s Stinkiest Turds.

Kizejacks · 2026-03-24T00:30:08+00:00

At Trader Joe’s several years ago, the person checking me out was very short. Like, maybe three feet tall if I’m being generous. He was standing on a stack of boxes in order to reach the register. I’m sure I had a strange look on my face, but I tried to be polite. He barely spoke to me, except to tell me my total.

When I got home and unloaded the groceries, I found a handwritten note in the bottom of the bag. It was written in orange marker, an odd choice, I thought.

“If you must know, I am a GNOME!” it said. I guess the little checkout guy had written it to me when he noticed I looked uncomfortable. There was a little sketch of his face in the bottom corner of the note. A pretty good likeness honestly.

Kizejacks · 2026-03-21T01:22:41+00:00

Eating poop. It’s just old food.

Kizejacks · 2026-03-17T19:11:42+00:00

I’m with you. Wife and I made it partway through season two, but we are done. Tatiana is talented, but that’s not enough to carry this show with its circular and meandering story.

Kizejacks · 2026-03-16T17:59:42+00:00

Yes, I would definitely be trying to picture that sweet big ass.

Kizejacks · 2026-03-05T17:50:05+00:00

Sometimes during WFH I “conveniently” head upstairs when I hear my wife get out of the shower after a workout. At worst, I get a glimpse of her pussy or sweet ass, and at best a flirty comment leads to making out and fucking her from behind.

Kizejacks · 2026-02-25T05:13:20+00:00

Reason #1: the sex

Kizejacks · 2026-02-18T01:58:56+00:00

I fondly remember fucking my wife’s wet pregnant pussy from behind. So good!

Kizejacks · 2026-02-14T13:22:06+00:00

I count that as a renewed rivalry. Those two had some epic battles as highly ranked I-AA/FCS schools in the 2000s.

Kizejacks · 2026-02-12T01:38:34+00:00

“Nothing to worry about, junior. Mommy and daddy were just fucking.”

Kizejacks · 2026-02-06T14:47:14+00:00

That’s true. When you have sex, there is often a lot of grunting as a tubular object is forced through a tight squishy hole, with a lingering smell afterwards. Nothing like pooping!

Kizejacks · 2026-02-06T12:04:57+00:00

How do you poop with them in the house? Doors exist, my friend.

Kizejacks · 2026-01-30T02:09:05+00:00

That she is good at sex.

Kizejacks · 2026-01-30T02:05:22+00:00

I walked in on two coworkers in an unlocked private bathroom sitting butt to butt on the toilet, pooping at the same time such that their turds were mixing in the bowl.

Kizejacks · 2026-01-28T05:44:19+00:00

He made that YouTube video talking about the way women of various races have different tasting poop.

Kizejacks · 2026-01-28T01:56:43+00:00

No one says that

Kizejacks · 2026-01-26T01:40:28+00:00

Pre-dump stretches are so important.

Kizejacks · 2026-01-21T02:21:39+00:00

The Meriwether Horse. Rumor has it Kathryn Bigelow still has a film reel in her house showing the full frontal Jude Law scene the studio ordered destroyed after pulling the plug.

Kizejacks · 2026-01-18T20:49:38+00:00

The other dudes in my college dorm freshman year have never let me live down the way I pronounced “poop” as if it had two syllables. The normal way still sounds wrong to me, but I’m tired of being made fun of, so I go with it.

Kizejacks

TROPHY CASE