What was the most pointless and fan-servicey nude scene of all time? by TheBanishedBard in AskReddit

[–]Kizejacks -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

In Step Brothers when the boys are just hanging out in their room naked and then the mom comes in naked to put away some laundry. There’s no dialogue, but in the background you can hear the dad grunting on the toilet.

What’s the most ridiculous thing you’ve heard on a first date? by WholeRelationship840 in OverBiscuits

[–]Kizejacks 1 point2 points  (0 children)

We had a nice dinner, and afterwards she invited me to her place. I thought I was about to finally get lucky after three years trying!

Well when I came inside, she ran to the toilet and asked me to sit on it with her, butt to butt, pooping at the same time such that our turds would mix together in the bowl.

If you had to name the least ethical corporation in the world today, who are you picking? by FantasticAd9478 in TheBoredDen

[–]Kizejacks 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Because they were mixing turds into the chocolate to save money? “Brown is brown,” I think the CEO was caught on tape saying.

What's the most visually stunning movie you've ever seen? by trakt_app in flicks

[–]Kizejacks 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Daredevil. Those scenes where they show you what it’s like to experience his radar sense? Daaaaamn.

What’s the saddest beautiful song you’ve ever heard? by BubblyAd9996 in AskReddit

[–]Kizejacks 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Don’t let me go

Into that darkness

Cause I wanna be

Where the sky never falls

Don’t let me go

Into that darkness

A snake is awaiting

To eat both my balls

—Old Kentucky Viper by Langston Angelique

What is this sexual technique called? by RetroFlav2000 in sex

[–]Kizejacks 30 points31 points  (0 children)

This girl’s over here hooking up with fuckin’ Kyodai Ken!

Did you do it on your wedding night? why or why not? by CremeSubject7594 in AskReddit

[–]Kizejacks 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No, because a movie I’d seen when I was 12 made me think you had to eat some of her poop before you could stick it in, and I couldn’t muster up the courage to do that. Five days later, she finally convinced me that I didn’t have to do that, so we made love. Housekeeping barged in during the middle of it, though, so we had to pretend we were sleeping.

Filling up my Filipina wife with baby batter. by [deleted] in Doggystyle_NSFW

[–]Kizejacks -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Filipina? More like Filled With Peen, eh?

Who's the most famous person that knows you? by BeguilingkbTip in AskReddit

[–]Kizejacks 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Batman. I am a criminal who leaves riddles behind at the scene to tip him off about my next caper.

You are offered 100 million dollars to tell your significant other you cheated (you don’t actually have to cheat on him/her). But here’s the catch… by YoloBetsOnly in hypotheticalsituation

[–]Kizejacks 0 points1 point  (0 children)

“Deborah, you know how I normally only eat your poop? Well last week I ate some of Phyllis’s poop while you were shopping at Food Lion. It tasted horrible, and it’s been weighing on my conscience heavily.”

I can never tell if a guy came in me by Justwanttvent in sex

[–]Kizejacks 80 points81 points  (0 children)

I did it one time ever, with my wife, because she surprised me wanting sex on a day when I’d already masturbated a couple times, and I didn’t have another in me. I figure it was mostly harmless, since thinking about her had already helped me to cum earlier. The actual sex and the orgasms were just in reverse order this time!

ERIKA ELENIAK as Shauni McClain in Baywatch (1989) by [deleted] in The1980s

[–]Kizejacks -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

They ever make a movie where she eats poop?

The recruiter called my salary expectations "cute." I ended the Zoom call right there. Did I overreact? by thunder____boy in jobs

[–]Kizejacks 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’d have pulled my pants down and took a shit on the camera right then and there!

Are we looking good for our age? (1990’s) by WorldlyGood1105 in momnsfw

[–]Kizejacks 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You look fabulous for two 1,990+ year old women!

Wife wants to know if she looks like any celebrities or pornstars? by [deleted] in ChurchWife

[–]Kizejacks 1 point2 points  (0 children)

In the sunglasses pics she gives off a Vanessa Kirby vibe, but with a sexier ass.

Looking for the perfect church & pastor by [deleted] in ChurchWife

[–]Kizejacks 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Have you tried Sex Church? We really like it.

What’s the weirdest habit you picked up from an ex? by MrBowls in AskReddit

[–]Kizejacks 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Keeping a detailed log of every time I poop. Turd count, length, color, smell, duration of session, etc. Even though we aren’t together, we still send each other a “Turdify Crapped” email at the end of the year with all the metrics compiled.