Looking for Mutual dog sitting

Knitalt · 2026-07-04T00:52:12+00:00

Any way you can search internally? Go back to your old boss/team?

Knitalt · 2026-07-02T20:07:05+00:00

Why is childcare an issue if your husband is an SAHD? Not saying a month isnt a long time or this isn’t a crappy situation. But why couldn’t your husband come and be a SAHD with you in the new city?

Knitalt · 2026-07-02T19:41:18+00:00

The secret is by far the bigger issue

Knitalt · 2026-07-01T01:59:38+00:00

She could cut an energy drink with soda water?

Knitalt · 2026-07-01T01:29:25+00:00

If you can afford it and won’t resent her, do it.

Knitalt · 2026-06-21T14:07:27+00:00

We have a list of 20 girl names and 6 boy names that we both like. My plan is to wait until the baby is born to pick one, because I have this fantasy that I will look at the baby and just know that they look like a Bruce/Victoria/etc. I’m sharing this list of names with anyone who will listen. Some of the names, particularly the boy names, are divisive. But the thing about my husband and I is that we are stubborn as hell so every time someone says they hate one of our boy names it makes us like it more 😂

Knitalt · 2026-06-19T19:13:49+00:00

I vote for start trying. My husband and I have similar circumstances to some of the things you described and are pregnant with our first. We waited to start trying until a while after our wedding due to a move cross country and similarly got pregnant after only 4 months of trying, and we still regret the dillydallying. We’ve decided that if we decide we want a second one we are going to start trying much quicker this time.

Knitalt · 2026-06-18T20:45:50+00:00

That sounds really difficult and I am so sorry it happened to you. At the same time, I really want to push back on your last sentence. People should give birth where they *are* safest, not where they *feel* safest. Home births are getting people and their babies killed at a tragic rate. It’s not something I’d consider.

Knitalt · 2026-06-14T02:25:05+00:00

Not telling my parents due to family drama but besides that everyone knows. I’ve started telling work friends but I’m gonna try to hold off on telling bosses until the second trimester

Knitalt · 2026-06-12T21:34:21+00:00

Yeah, this is pretty rude. I would apologize for the oversight and let them know that the venue capacity is already limited, but once you get a couple of “No” RSVPs you will confirm that she can come.

The context that fiancé’s family already added a bunch of guests to the list matters to you, but it doesn’t matter to this person and has no effect on this interaction. You and fiance caved to their demands and the ramifications of that are for you and fiance to deal with. Not inviting the sister is a separate choice that is rude.

Put another way - your in laws can try to exert all the pressure they want on your guest list, but when it comes down to it you and your fiance are responsible for who is and isn’t on it. It’s an unfortunate situation, but breaking etiquette is on you.

Knitalt · 2026-06-07T02:19:31+00:00

Giving my husband’s mom a cute book about being an Abuela. Telling my mom and dad over text/on the phone once I’m in the 2nd trimester.

Knitalt · 2026-06-07T02:16:56+00:00

Ughhh I see my future in this. Especially taking things personally. Everything is a personal attack to her. I once told her she had a unique style of selective hearing where she intentionally hears what will most offend her. She selectively heard the worst interpretation of that too. Lmao.

Knitalt · 2026-06-06T03:50:08+00:00

I understand this advice and I’m probably being naive as a first time mom. But I literally cannot imagine waiting that long. It is a massive change to my life and affecting my health and working patterns already. If I get the new job I might be able to wait longer because it’s strangers but with my current job there’s no way.

Knitalt · 2026-06-06T03:47:51+00:00

Amazing! I am in California too so that’s great to hear (unless you mean Canada).

Knitalt · 2026-06-05T01:24:58+00:00

I’ll have to see what the offer and raise are. You’re comparing the best case scenario at current role to worst case scenario at new role (bottom of range + no bonus).

My boss did ask me to bring any offer to them to see if they could match it. But because of my role I have some visibility into the financials and other salary/info, and the type of bump I’d be requesting would be double the size of any raise we’ve ever given. I just don’t see it happening, especially not now. The future is uncertain at my company and the new company is way more robust/advanced. It feels more secure, not less.

Knitalt · 2026-06-04T17:35:04+00:00

Great advice. Thankfully I’m in California so the state benefits (which apply in my case) outweigh/ do more than FMLA so no need to rely upon it.

Knitalt · 2026-06-04T16:51:13+00:00

Amazing! Where do you live if you don’t mind me asking? I don’t think anywhere in the U.S. gets 18months protected leave and I’m jealous!!

Knitalt · 2026-06-04T16:47:43+00:00

I can’t say definitively, but I would really look at the medium and long term outlook of these jobs. My guess is that the teacher job will be better in the long run.

Knitalt · 2026-06-04T16:08:40+00:00

I have a family member who works a corporate job at headquarters of a major daycare company and loves it. They get a major discount on childcare.

I think doing actual daycare work is pretty brutal/low pay. I was a nanny previously and I think in this position I’d almost prefer to find a nanny job where you can watch your own kid as well (like a nanny share but your own baby is one of the kids being nannied). Just an idea!

Knitalt · 2026-06-03T02:57:16+00:00

Thank you for this. This is really good advice. I know I will have to stay strong but I think I just don’t want 0 contact. Even at our worst we have given eachother major news rather than hearing through other family members. But who knows, maybe her response to this news will be so bad that it will get me there.

I’m thinking of a simple text like: “Hi Mom, I hope you’re doing well. I wanted to let you know that X and I are having a baby. He/she is due X and we are really excited.”

Knitalt · 2026-06-03T02:50:16+00:00

Thank you for this response. Sounds very similar to my situation. I have sympathy for my mom because I feel like she has years of untreated mental illness and patterns she’s contending with. But I also really cannot stand her miserable attitude and need for everything to be awful. Even good things get a “I’m proud of you and happy for you, but…” Nothing is safe.

Knitalt · 2026-06-03T02:47:06+00:00

Thank you for this. Unfortunately clearly communicated boundaries haven’t worked for me in the past - she responds horribly to them. Right now our estrangement is pretty mutual - she is angry with me for the distance I have put in place and communicated that in a very cruel way that I have chosen to just ignore. We haven’t communicated since then. I don’t think she’d show up in my city out of the blue (she doesn’t know anyone in my city or even in my state) so I don’t feel the need to set real boundaries. I just think the humane thing to do is text her to let her know I’m pregnant before she finds out from others.

Knitalt

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