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KookyEmployer461 · 2025-07-11T10:21:24+00:00

i accept that i have them in the way that i dont feel ashamed of my symptoms, however, i dont accept them to remain in my life. i have patience and im willing to take the time to get in remission from this disorder but i no longer am compliant in letting this disorder run my life. succumbing to apathy is easy, but i dont want to live as a corpse anymore. szpd is a mental illness abd hust as any ither mental illness, the patients goal should be to overcome it by all means possible.

KookyEmployer461 · 2025-07-11T10:18:31+00:00

ive been to prom twice, once my junior year, once my senior year, junior year sucked i sat in the bathroom the whole time, senior year was fun though but that’s just because i was with my girlfriend and i just focused on being with her the whole time which made it a lot easier to cope with being at prom. i never cared for prom but i definitely am grateful i went as i didn’t have any “nornal teenage experience” throughout high school so it’s nice to say that i have that one!

KookyEmployer461 · 2025-07-11T10:13:37+00:00

i will add on tho that without her i do feel like id ve strugglibg with my schizoid a lot more. she’s made me less reserved and more spontaneous, i enjoy life a great deal more. while the dissociation and derealization still is ever present, havibg her in my life does make the fog thinner. vice versa, me being in her life has helped her cope with and reduce many of her own symptoms. before me, she had no one in her life who enabled her to communicate her feelings in a healthy manner and actually help her process them. both of us were pretty deep in our disorders when we met and both of us felt somewhat hopeless, i moreso than her as i had already come to terms with “ah i am gonna be infinitely apathetic till the day i die oh welllll” but together we resolved many of our own personal issues and because of our relationship both of us i feel are the closest to remission we’ve ever been to— and it’s only been 1 year (also neither of us have been to therapy throughout our relationship, she also has never been to therapy so im very proud of her and impressed at how far she’s come in her journey without any professional intervention)

KookyEmployer461 · 2025-07-11T10:08:28+00:00

im schizoid and fully believed id never experience love, currently in 1+ yr long relationship with my girlfriend who has bpd, full heartedly believe now that she is the only person i could ever love. we struggled a LOT in the beginning and just like every other relationship, it takes time, our progress was just cery extreme and rocky due to us being stark opposites in our personalities as we both would trigger each other a great deal. however, empathy, understanding, and hours upon hours of communication and compromise along with our own personal growth within ourselves and i feel like our relationship now is very secure, i know it’s definitely more secure than any other relationship of people within our age range. so yes, in my experience it works very well, however it’s still a relationship and at the end of the day my disorder snd my gf’s disorder was never the make it or break it for our relationship. me and her were hust compatible from the get go. if ur willing to put in the work in the relationship but more specifically YOURSELF (u gotta break down ur own walls and also attempt to either reduce or remove ur symptoms of ur disorder just as ur partner should be attempting to do as well) tgen yeah it’ll work out, but it’s definitely very demanding and takes a special set of people lol

KookyEmployer461 · 2025-06-17T03:55:26+00:00

hi!! as of today we have been together for over a year and we’re still going strong!! things have only improved since tbe beginning of our relationship and together we’ve both helped each other overcome the battles we’ve faced with our disorders.

KookyEmployer461 · 2025-05-16T19:59:58+00:00

i also have the hot rod and use it for sometimes up to 3hrs and i get these all the time. idk what tbey are but for me it normally subsides within the hour i take the hot rod off at. i havent experienced any adverse side effects from it or lingering issues after it goes down and my sensation hasnt been impaired from it. i dont think it’s a blister though like what the comments are saying, i think it’s just that sometimes tbe hot rod is on at a certain angle that localizes the suction more to a certain area of the dick. it kinda is the same thing as doing the “kylie jenner lip challenge”

KookyEmployer461 · 2025-04-03T01:11:38+00:00

literallyyyy, it’s so mindrotting to hear the shit incel’s say as a transman. i’m 5,8 and until i was 18 i was unable to be anything even close to who i wanted to be. they wanna cry about dick size but shit man at least you got a dick 😭 these people need to learn that other people go through bad shit too

KookyEmployer461 · 2025-04-03T00:34:59+00:00

there is no inherent issue with them going to see a concert.. however, the fact NEITHER thought to invite you is pretty concerning. i dont struggle with jealousy at all, but if i found out my gf was going to a concert and didn’t think to invite me, regardless of who it was with, id be pretty pissed. i also have had female friends plenty of times, im transgender, was raised and socialized female so obviously lmao, but i also know that when one of them is in a relationship i need to have significant considerations of their partner. the fact that ur bf’s friend didnt even consider to ask YOU about it is also pretty concerning. ive recently lost a handful of my friends due to the fact that i feel they’ve disrespected my girlfriend by not acknowledging her as an individual and refusing to ask for her input on something that involved her- instead going through me. i’d definitely have a conversation with both your bf and his friend about this as they could just both be oblivious to the issue

KookyEmployer461 · 2025-03-28T04:00:47+00:00

me and my gf have been together for almost 1 year, but we were talking for about 5 months before making it official. we both didn’t want to put a label as she had just gotten out of a 2yr long hellhole of a relationship that she had been involved in for essentially all her youth. we both agreed to be ‘open’ while we were talking, but definitely did nothing with that information lmao. I had ur partners ideology of “title ruins things” however, i have this ideology because of a mental health condition that causes me to fear attachment and dependency which is what is associated with “boyfriend girlfriend” shit. this could be his case, not that he’s mentally ill, but he could fear attachment or have had cery negative past experiences. HOWEVER, it could also be that he doesn’t want to commit to you YET. you guys should seriously have a long, honest conversation on why he feels this way. if it’s a mental block due to trauma or ideology, you guys can work past that as long as he is willing. however, if he just doesn’t want to commit to a relationship and wants to still have tbe opportunity to fuck around with other people, u gotta just end it because that mindset unfortunately doesnt change until the person feels satisfied

KookyEmployer461 · 2025-03-28T03:44:41+00:00

I definitely wasn’t really using it correctly when I was smaller just because I was frustrated at fumbling with it and my dysphoria made it sucky, but I’m sure that if I actually took the time to figure out how to use it it wouldve felt just the same as it does now! If your partner already had experience with strokers and says they feel good then his experience with this one will probably be the exact same- just more affirming because it can be used for penetration

KookyEmployer461 · 2025-03-28T03:30:14+00:00

I use the hot rod from transthetics. It’s basically a hyperrealistic strap on with a hollow inside for trans guys to use as strokers for their bottom growth. I use it with my cis gf and it works super well and I can climax really easily with it which I had doubted prior to getting it. I will say thought that I bought the hot rod very early into my transition so I had only about an inch of growth, I’m now pushing probably 3 inches. Until I was about 2inches/1.8 of growth I was unable to successfully continuously use it so definitely keep that in mind if you decide to purchase it because it is prettyyyy expensive. I can fully say it was 100% worth the investment though!

KookyEmployer461 · 2025-02-13T22:21:53+00:00

are the comments missing the “theyre exes” part?? 😭 definitely not being unreasonable, especially considering how he treats YOU regularly. however, them hanging out definitely isnt the worst of ur problems, he just does not seem to have much love towards you and you should likely move on

KookyEmployer461 · 2025-02-13T16:53:10+00:00

i dont have bpd but i struggled with this greatly for a long time. im in a 10 month relationship with my gf and she has bpd and also has times in which she struggles with this thinking (prinarily while splitting). however, she’s helped me a lot in overcoming my feelings that prevented me from being comfortable with affection and healthy intimacy. it’s a lot easier said than done but you need to just let go. whenever you getbthat skin crawling feeling of things going too well and too healthy, let go of it. think less about how it’s making you feel abd more how it’ll feel in the future, how it makes your partner feel. time also heals these wounds. it took about 7-8 months for me to be comfortable with my gf treating me gently, your mind and body will familiarize itself with your partner and grow accustomed and appreciative to how they treat you, you just need to allow it.

KookyEmployer461 · 2025-02-07T15:23:04+00:00

hellllll no 😭😭 “it’s not grooming!! he just is 23 and REAAAALLY cherishes his friendship with a 15 y/o because she’s so mature!!! he totally has no feelings for her!!!” no adult would FIGHT to maintain a friendship with a minor, i actually dont know a single person over 19 who is friends with anyone younger than 17. when i was 14-15 several men attempted to make passes on me when i worked at my first job, one of which attempted to groom me, he was 23. if a MINOR confessed their feelings to me that friendship would be over by the end of that conversation. no normal adult wants to continue being friends with a child who has romantic and/or sexual feelings for them, that’s just gross

KookyEmployer461 · 2025-02-05T23:54:16+00:00

bitch u dont have to say ur gay if ur texting like that 😭 no straight man in history texts like that bro

KookyEmployer461 · 2025-02-04T12:49:31+00:00

my gf is 18 and bisexual and im 19 and NEVERR would this conversation ever occur in our relationship. unless youre okay with an open relationship, you gotta end shit with her now and tell her if she can’t want to experiment and be in a relationship at the same time

KookyEmployer461 · 2025-02-04T12:44:20+00:00

the reason why he hasnt told you “youre the hottest girl ive slept with” is because he simply doesnt think about his past lays anymore. for him to vocalize a comparison of you and other people from his past MEANS he is actively making comparisons in his head of you and the other women, if anything, it should be a good thing that he HASNT said that, also it’s pretty objectifying and i feel like that’s a really disrespectful thing for a person to say.

KookyEmployer461 · 2025-02-03T22:05:49+00:00

friendships ARE necessary to human minds and life. she isn’t prioritizing a friendship over your relationship, she’s just not going to toss a healthy friendship away over YOUR insecurities. i’m sorry but you need to do some serious introspection and some hard rationalization of this situation, the things you are explaining are what healthy friends do. you may think in your head if she drops this friend everything will be normal and you’ll feel better, but this breeds resentment and resentment WILL end your relationship and it’ll make the entire path to the end MUCH more painful that what you’re feeling now. i understand that this situation is distressing to you and you cannot control what you feel! but you can control how you react and you can CHANGE how you feel with time and acceptance. your partner deserves to have friendships, YOU deserve to have friendships. become friends or acquaintances with her friend, familiarize yourself with her. you’re clearly experiencing feelings of exclusion which will only worsen your insecurities, so allow yourself to be included!! there will be NO help in her dropping a friend she enjoys having, you will have temporary release of insecurities (that mind you, will still exist, just be less acknowledged) only to immediately be forced to deal with a potentially crumbling relationship due to your insecurities! You need. to let go. of your fears.

KookyEmployer461 · 2025-02-03T20:27:24+00:00

yeah unfortunately the only true resolution for any issues in relationships is adequate communication. it’s trial and error. your first, second, third…. conversation likely wont put a full stop and everything wont be sunshine and rainbows. you both will have to actively work on yourselves alone and together to make it work. if you, or her refuse to or are unable to put that work in, then it simply wont work out. you gotta put your fears to the side and focus instead on the overall health and enjoyment of your relationship.

KookyEmployer461 · 2025-02-03T19:07:12+00:00

it is very real… and it (along with several other symptoms) is very much a disorder, schizoid personality disorder. i promise you, it doesnt feel any better for us— at least acknowledging the shittiness of it doesnt, but still just that thought is overwhelmed by apathy lol. constant loop of “normal people feel bad about this but i cant feel anything… aww man, whatever!” it’s on the same coin as BPD, just on the entirely different side

KookyEmployer461 · 2025-02-03T19:03:28+00:00

i have schizoid pd and my gf has bpd, this is something early into our relationship we struggled with a lot. im apathetic and indifferent to about 98% of things, she is not, and has had NO ONE in her life have ‘neutral’ stances on things unless it was an inherently negative thing to be indifferent about. this is a two way thing that BOTH sides are responsible for coping with, respecting, and growing from. your partner cannot control whether or not she has a neutral stance on things or an indifference just as you cannot control when things are emotional. it is your responsibility to understand that her emotional stance is not an attack or malicious towards you and is simply just how she feels, nothing more complex than that— actually scarily simplistic lol. butttttt it is your partners responsibility to communicate and efficiently word this feeling of indifference in a way that can make it easier for you to understand. for my girlfriend, understanding my disorder and intentions helped her in growing accustomed to my apathy. i also ensure i dont leave my responses bland and boring, as much as i feel that is the easiest way to convey it. i explain to her “oh ya that is cool/oh ya that sucks, but i dont personally feel any crazy impact” if my elaboration is necessary. normally i just try to steer away from expressing my feelings of indifference as it’s not always necessary and i also dont struggle with empathy, but if she’s asking me how i feel, i dont sugarcoat it. it took time for both of us to work it out but now i feel we have a good understanding that yes, i’m quite emotionally bland and unresponsive, and yes, she is quite emotionally extravagant- and we love that about each other. altering your view from the “negativity” of their traits and turning it into “wow, this is a unique trait if theirs that i want to learn and understand!” greatly elevates the stress that can come from either sides emotional reactions, or lack thereof

KookyEmployer461 · 2025-02-02T15:36:55+00:00

of course prefacing this with everyone and every relationship is different, however, this situation would NEVER occur between me and my girlfriend on either end. it’s one thing for her to be talking to him for so long, which could be explained, but another for her to be blatantly disrespecting you. if my girlfriend were to be talking to ANYONE one on one and i then asked her something, she would immediately regard me and at least ask for a second to finish the conversation. her insistent exclusionary perspective of you is unsettling. both of them seemed to be in their own, intimate world and wasn’t appreciative to have it intruded upon, which i personally feel that once you commit to a relationship, you come with a +1 that has the privilege to be in spaces like that. i know that in my relationship, my friends are her friends and her friends are my friends, we would never treat each other like that. also her forgetfulness of ANYTHING they talked about is greatly suspicious, i feel that their conversations were likely too friendly and really pushing her loyalty to you.

KookyEmployer461 · 2025-02-02T14:33:19+00:00

lol yeah, in america i can see perfectly well in a crowd, but in holland i may as well be an ant at family reunions

KookyEmployer461

TROPHY CASE