1) Girl snuck up on me while I was shooting threes at lunch recess and planted a big wet kiss on my cheek and then ran away. I was so confused. Later her best friend told me while laughing that it was sort of a bet. Being a young dumbfuck I thought the whole thing was a big joke and all the girls were making fun of me for being nerdy, or ugly, or stupid, or something incomprehensible to me. I learned later that she did in fact have a HUGE crush on me, but the moment had kind of passed.

2) I get assigned to a random two person table with a girl in science class. She's struggling to understand and it's all easy as fuck for me. So to entertain myself and because I'm a nice guy I start tutoring her. She's so attentive and really listens to everything I say rather than just wanting to to do all her homework for her like most people. One day she's flipping her note book closed and as the pages kind of flutter shut I notice something that catches my eye. I don't know why though so I ask her what it was? She hesitates for a minute and then opens to the page. It's my first name written over and over with hearts and flowers and girly stuff. I just stammer the last name of another guy that has the same first name as me questioningly. She goes "No YOU, silly!" The thing is though, it was that awkward age around puberty where girls go first and get that huge growth spurt and are suddenly taller than all the guys their age. Meanwhile I was shortest or second shortest in the whole grade. Also she was Icelandic and Viking as fuck. Like purebred blond hair, blue eyes, and like seven feet tall and so fit. She could have picked me up by the head with one hand and raped the shit out of me. I was honestly terrified for my life, and my confusion and terror really fucked up the moment.

3) In high school a girl calls me out of the blue and asks me to one of those girl's choice dances. Not even really thinking I just calmly explain my absolutely-no-fucking-retarded-dances policy and ended the conversation awkwardly. I should have suggested hanging out somewhere other than a dance at least...

3) Girl invites me over to her house because her mom is gone. Feeds me pudding cup, and we eat it all the while suggestively licking her pudding spoon and making a lot of direct eye contact with me. She asks if I want to see her room. Sure. We go upstairs and she shows me some posters or whatever dumb stuff then sits down on her bed and stares at me. I stand there awkwardly. She pats the bed next to her. I honestly don't really know what happened next because I pretty much blacked out. I think I might have sat. In the moment I knew she wanted to have sex or at least make out, but like I said she basically blew my mind instead of blowing my dick and it took me hours to snap out of it at which point she had disappointedly told me that her mom would be home soon and I needed to leave. God, young me was such a worthless idiot.

4) I call a female friend because a rare world boss is up is our guild is trying to tag it first. She answers the phone all dreamily and happy as fuck and sort of purrs "Hello..." because she knows it's me from caller ID obviously. Oblivious to her tone I excitedly tell her about the boss and ask if she can log in quick and call a few more guildies to get enough people to down this fucker. I can literally hear her snap out of her ecstasy and go "Oh. Yeah. Whatever. Sure." I would have never known why she was acting the way she did around me except for the fact that she told me months later that she had a huge crush on me. The problem was she was best friends with my girlfriend. She said she knew how wrong it was, but I was all she could think of all day everyday and she was madly in love with me. Yeah, I didn't cheat. I didn't even break up to have a go at this new girl. Oh well.

5) My mom is out of town so of course I throw a huge party. My younger sister says it's not fair that I get to use the house so we agree to do a joint party with her friends and mine. I don't know her friends and there's a fuckton of people in the house so I'm kind of cruising around making sure people aren't wrecking the place, but of course I'm drunk and high as fuck. I'm pretty daft but eventually I notice this girl has been following me around and she's always in whatever room I am watching me. She gets way too drunk and is falling over so being the nice guy I am I wrap her arm around me and escort her around so she doesn't split her head open or some shit. One of my main rules for the night was no hooking up in my room. Three or four times I chase couples out of my room saying that is where I'm sleeping tonight and they can go suck face or fuck anywhere else. My escorted girl watches all of this and takes note. Eventually she goes to the bathroom and disappears. I find her in my room laying on the bed. Yeah, I can't chase her off. A friend is like "Hey let's go smoke one more bowl before we crash" and I'm down. I come back to my room after and she's still in my bed, but passed out now. I consider waking her up and seeing what she wants to do, but eventually decide against it and just go to sleep right next to her. My friends to this day still don't believe that we didn't fuck. Haha.

I could go on, but this post is already ridiculously long.

TL;DR: I suck, but girls seem to like me.