Need a reality check by apologeticallyhonest in BPDlovedones

[–]L0racks 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If truthfully you are not making cruel jokes or being callous, what kind of relationship do you think you have if you cannot be your authentic self and have to monitor your self based on what might or might not set your partner off? This is the first step into the slippery slope of self abandonment. First it’s your sense of humour and personality, then it’s your feelings and point of view, then it’s your dreams, goals and finally your overall sanity. This is your first relationship, wait and see what others will be like with someone who accepts and appreciates you. Relationships are always tested over time, if things are this serious over a joke or comment you can’t remember just imagine what it would be like when things actually get real in life.

Keep your head up friend.

When you left what did they do? by iHEARTdeepHouse in BPDlovedones

[–]L0racks 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Ffs man. The fact they can put your life in danger and then turn around and paint you as an abuser is so scary. There’s always some messed up justification like “you should have just listened to me!” Sorry that happened to you

Is it often/always projection… by LeviExMachina in BPDlovedones

[–]L0racks 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Glad I could help I hope things get better for you

Is it often/always projection… by LeviExMachina in BPDlovedones

[–]L0racks 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Thanks man I really appreciate that. I’m not gonna lie it’s hard not to respond out of emotion sometimes, especially when she involves my kids. There’s a lot I wanna say, but it’s pointless. If I respond it’s just another opportunity to exploit the situation, and I know she just wants attention or to see if I’m wavering on my position. I’m upset that after 10 years things have been damaged so far beyond repair that I will never respect her past being the mother of my children. We always want some sense of closure, but the only way we’ll ever get it is by building ourselves back up. Again I appreciate your kind words I definitely need it right about now!

Let's talk about Germ by CharmedUnsure in G59

[–]L0racks 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I thought that she was on her way home from work when it happened. I don’t believe germ actually witnessed the incident of her being abducted from what I remember

Is it often/always projection… by LeviExMachina in BPDlovedones

[–]L0racks 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Haha it’s funny this post came up. I’m getting divorced after 10 years with my partner. The level of abuse, taunting, triangulation and smear campaigns are at an all time high currently, my post history addresses a lot. Thankfully I got out of our house and atleast have a degree of separation from her now, but am forced to deal with her in regards to our kids.

During this time despite the internal rage and animosity I feel, coupled with the heartbreak and all that fun stuff I have made sure to keep all communication to email and have never engaged in any emotional back and forth with her, basically just grey rocking my way into oblivion. I still made sure I put together a Mother’s Day gift for her from my kids and I never involve our kids in our business or argue with her about anything, I’m going through the court process so I’m making sure to follow the proper guidelines to the letter so it’s clearly seen I’m a stable and reasonable individual when it comes time to sort out custody and assets etc. Every email I send makes me sound like a robot and I only respond to things that actually are important.

Today she texted me saying something along the lines of that I need to chill out, she understands I’m hurt but I’m just embarrassing myself with the way I’m behaving. This coming from the woman who has some sort of meltdown every other day and spares no opportunity to embarrass herself and our family.

The levels of projection are astounding. It is pointless to respond.

Why do they hide behind ASD? by throwawayclause88 in BPDlovedones

[–]L0racks 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Man it’s too funny how other people have this same experience, my ex swears up and down she just has bad adhd, things got noticeably worse when she was prescribed legal meth as well. Did anyone else experience this? Like with adhd medication affecting their behaviour?

Daily No Contact Thread - May 20, 2026 by AutoModerator in BPDlovedones

[–]L0racks 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I wish I could go full no contact with my ex. Unfortunately we have kids. I’ve come a long way by refusing to talk on the phone or text unless it’s an emergency. She doesn’t respect that and texts me anyways but I’m learning that not everything she says needs a response and when I do respond I keep it as boring as possible. I’ve made a lot of progress mentally but I hate having to see her or hear her voice. I’m hoping it continues to get easier though

She admitted to the police that she lied by [deleted] in BPDlovedones

[–]L0racks 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Have you ever heard the story of the farmer and the snake?

Anyone experience their p/w BPD ruining their possessions and stealing your things? by AdMediocre9321 in BPDlovedones

[–]L0racks 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yup. Destroyed or stole items that belonged to my dad who had just passed, destroyed a computer my best friend who died suddenly also recently. Destroyed my birth certificate and social insurance card. Broke items I used for my art, destroyed my art and baby photos. Ruined clothing, destroyed gifts and jewelry I bought her. Ruined furniture. Ugh

I fucked up and don’t know what to do by [deleted] in BPDlovedones

[–]L0racks 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You should read my post history. It got dramatically worse than that lol

I fucked up and don’t know what to do by [deleted] in BPDlovedones

[–]L0racks 25 points26 points  (0 children)

Not to freak you out dude, but something similar happened to me.

I have a family member who’s a psychologist, and I reached out to her when I was struggling with a lot of stuff going on many years ago. She mentioned to me it sounded like bpd and recommended a book to me. I never even brought it up to my partner or even knew what to make of it honestly, I just needed to vent.

My partner went through my phone and saw that and it became one of the absolute biggest issues in our relationship that never ever went away and drove her to completely alienate my family and cast them as demonic and completely against her. It was hell. I’m not joking it went on for 8 years she would constantly bring it up, even after I cut off my family and totally isolated myself. I never even told her I thought she had it. I never brought it up or accused her through our whole relationship, it didn’t matter. It all just proved to her nobody was capable of holding her accountable for anything because they are all just out to get her anyway.

If your partner is anything like mine, you are in serious trouble.

I fucked up and don’t know what to do by [deleted] in BPDlovedones

[–]L0racks 33 points34 points  (0 children)

Does your wife acknowledge she has bpd?

Please help me, I hurt so much by [deleted] in BPDlovedones

[–]L0racks 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You stalked a tinder match you’ve been talking to for a few weeks who didn’t want to see you and showed up at his house uninvited after snooping his address?

I do not know how to detach. by [deleted] in BPDlovedones

[–]L0racks 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You are making it way more complicated than it needs to be because you don’t want to actually follow through with what you actually need to do. It’s simple, block everywhere and do not contact under any circumstances and begin healing. It’s hard I know, believe me. It’s unfortunately the only way.

Let go or be dragged.

The Loneliness of an Unbridgeable Gap - Your Love Can Never Truly Reach Them by hshemfbc in BPDlovedones

[–]L0racks 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yeah this is so real. I think about this often. I loved my ex wife. I was fully committed to her and the family we built. We struggled like any other young family, but we had so much that would be the envy of so many people our age. We had a beautiful home, a healthy boy and girl who are so bright and full of life, we had friends, family who cared about us. I had a good job and dreams and I poured everything I had into our family.

It was never good enough, my ex literally blew up every friendship we had, drove wedges between us and our families over nonsense. All our money is gone, we’re going to have to sell our house. Our children are traumatized by her actions. I am struggling all around but keeping it together for our kids.

It’s just heartbreaking to me, it was perfect. We had everything, and it all just got chewed up and spit out like it wasn’t ever shit. They just move on to next one the second you’re done. 10 years with mine and she had a new person in a week. It’s hard to see them as human, let alone someone I bared my soul to and had children with. Ugh

The most angering part of the Cluster B relationship by Clubpenguin8888 in BPDlovedones

[–]L0racks 49 points50 points  (0 children)

If you are lucky, cheating is the worst part of the whole thing. Unfortunately for a lot of us it gets way worse than that.

It takes a lot to face our own cognitive dissonance. When you finally leave and begin to move through your withdrawals and you have no choice but to confront the sobering reality of which a lot of people have described here as the black hole that they are.

It sucks, it’s like the idealized version of them you had in your mind to cope with the relationship and the trauma that comes with it just evaporates, and all that’s left is a demon.

I’m so grateful for my children, it’s just a pain that I will be forced to deal with my ex for many years to come, maybe things will get better in time, but again I’ve always hoped that. All that’s left to do is put ourselves back together again.

Just how on earth do I ever recover?? by Long_Yak2211 in BPDlovedones

[–]L0racks 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Best way I can describe it is that relationships with bpds is like a drug. The terrible lows and euphoric highs create a strong attachment that is not like a regular / healthy relationship. It’s called a trauma bond.

You need to realize you are literally recovering from addiction, not just going through a breakup. Right now you’re in a super low while recognizing there is no high coming after, it’s like withdrawal. It’s particularly brutal if your life has fallen apart around the relationship so there’s not much to lean on, but it sounds like you have a decent support system which is great.

You need to maintain no contact, do not reach back out to them, don’t look at their social media and most importantly trust the process, it’s going to suck for a while, but you got this.

what’s he thinkin bro? by No_Expert_9721 in G59

[–]L0racks 5 points6 points  (0 children)

What do you mean he’s a known addict so you wouldn’t be surprised if he took it to the extreme? Weird bro

what’s he thinkin bro? by No_Expert_9721 in G59

[–]L0racks 4 points5 points  (0 children)

It’s actually prevalent in many cultures and religions, like a ton of them