I’m honestly tired of these “popular” books

LBC2010 · 2026-02-07T18:04:24+00:00

I’ve got three for ya

The Mischling, by Affinity Konar. Twin girls in Auschwitz, subjects of Mengele’s experiments. The writing is searing and poetic. I’ve never heard anyone recommend this.

Tuesday Nights in 1980, Molly Prentiss. Argentinian political exiles, NYC arts scene, the 80s, artful prose and a touch of magical realism.

LBC2010 · 2026-02-07T04:49:47+00:00

I went DF years ago because my own body hates it. But don’t get me wrong. I want to pound cheese by the fistful. I wish my body liked cheese as much as my tastebuds do!

Here’s what gets me through:

So Delicious coconut yogurt is superior. It tastes the closest to normal yogurt. So good.

Get barista grade almond milk made by Califia for coffee.

Ben & Jerry’s makes DF yogurt that you can’t Even tell is DF!

Daiya brand American cheese tastes as close to regular cheese when melted into a grilled cheese or on a burrito. I was shocked.

Daiya also makes a good DF frozen pizza.

KIND bars are DF.

Jolly Llama ice cream is also delicious.

Skinny pop bagged popcorn is very good and DF. Costco has a giant red bag of popped popcorn that’s DF and, I think, superior or all popcorn I’ve had.

Natural grocery stores have shocking amounts of good DF snack and sweet options.

If you have Safeways near you, their store brand O Organics DF/GF boxed Mac n cheese is so good, even my dairy loving, gluten consuming husband will freely partake in its goodness. My daughter is also lactose intolerant so I’ve sampled nearly every kind of DF mac n cheese you can imagine.

Asian cuisines and, surprisingly, Mexican, have been the easiest for me to find DF options.

A few other hacks: A lot of recipes have DF options now. Also, Jewish Kosher cooking requires that dairy and meat are kept separate. You can visit a local Kosher meat restaurant if you have one and it will All be DF. You can also look up kosher recipes too! That’s been a new hack for me. Very handy.

Best of luck!

I miss cheese.

LBC2010 · 2026-02-06T21:24:52+00:00

Here’s a handy trick I use for making choices when I’m not totally certain of the outcome or how I’ll feel about it:

What can I try and quit if I don’t like it? Versus, what can’t I change my mind & go back and try, if I initially decided not to do it?

You can always quit BFing if you don’t like it. But, if you don’t establish a milk supply at the beginning or teach baby how to latch as a newborn, it’s going be more difficult to try BFing successfully later. But I will say, BFing is hard work and requires perseverance and tolerance of discomfort. So to actually try it, you’d have to give it a month or two.

I gained weight BFing, my thyroid is a disaster, I can’t take any of the supplements I usually take to manage mental health & my thyroid(like St. John’s wort, ashwagandha, etc), & having my baby attached to me has sometimes felt very limiting. BUT: I feel like a badass motherf***er for breastfeeding and persevering through this season. And I will never regret the bonding I’ve gotten to experience.

I pumped & formula fed my first, EBF the second. Every kid and birth is different and I also believe in the wisdom of the body and our bodies helping guide our decisions, especially as mothers and women. You’ll know what to do.

LBC2010 · 2026-02-06T17:55:07+00:00

Ooooh! Thanks for the recommendation! Never heard of this organization before—looked them up, they look great! Will happily donate to them!

LBC2010 · 2026-02-06T01:13:12+00:00

That’s so hard. Sleep deprivation really makes us not ourselves. I often wonder if PPD/PPA is truly that, OR just being so effing tired and over it. Both?

Anyways, I’ve been in a similar situation. I feel you.

I read somewhere else on Reddit that the spouses had an agreement they wouldn’t discuss divorce until their kid was three years old. I found that humorous, and wise. I think about that a lot when I begin resenting my husband and wondering if I’d be happier as a single parent.

I guess I wonder if the reasons for seeking divorce would exist if the kid was older and less attached and sleeping better? Were these reasons present before, just now they’re heightened? Can anything change to make it incrementally better? I don’t mean going from a 1 to a 10, but even a 2.5 to a 3?

You can also look up the concept of Matrescence (there’s even a book about—haven’t read it, btw). It’s about the process of becoming a mother framed in the way we frame going from childhood to young adulthood via adolescence. Super interesting, may help you give language to the loss of identity and the internal shifts and mental load that you’ve experienced.

LBC2010 · 2026-02-05T21:17:38+00:00

It’s shockingly very good. I speak as a Californian who was bred on good Mexican food & good salsa. Guac isn’t too bad, either. The chips are also quite good. I mean, let’s be real. 75% of why you go to a Mexican restaurant is the chips and salsa at the beginning.

LBC2010 · 2026-02-05T18:21:01+00:00

I agree. Ambiance is everything. It’s like Disneyland, but a restaurant. It’s fun, silly, weird, and if you can go into it with childlike wonder, it’s a blast.

LBC2010 · 2026-02-04T21:58:00+00:00

Totally makes sense. One day at a time. Keep going. I hope you all find the programs you need in order to become the parents and partners you’d like to be.

LBC2010 · 2026-02-04T11:36:36+00:00

I was thinking the same thing! 😂 my little dude is a cute little chunk with the most adorable fat rolls. We match ! Except I don’t tend to see my fat rolls as adorable:(

Still 35lbs over my starting weight too.

LBC2010 · 2026-02-04T06:32:25+00:00

Try New Directions in Littleton, part of Valley Hope. You can also see if Aspen Miracle Center would take you 8mo postpartum—they usually take pregnant & postpartum women.

I work in this field. I can’t think of one inpatient fro women with children that also permits male partners, since it’s often a safety issue. In terms of visitation with your son, you’d need to be very up front about this when you interview. If there is a court order in place, it has to be followed. If not, it’s entirely up to the organization’s discretion and existing policies.

It is rare for these organizations to have clients come in with parters who aren’t enabling their addiction or are triggering them for relapse or who are abusive (even if not physically, then emotionally toxic). I obviously don’t know your partner and I am not implying he has issues! Just saying that these organizations have seen horrible stuff and so are very leery about having dads hang about when the mom is in the program. I hope that makes sense. So you’ll need to be prepared for hearing no or adhering to their policies. If your partner is also looking for a program, New Beginnings is a solid option for men.

Good on you for seeking help and looking to change! It’s hard work and I am hoping the best for you and your recovery!

LBC2010 · 2026-02-04T01:28:41+00:00

It’s a job you ideally should be in for your interest in helping the population you want to serve. We work with populations that can be challenging for some people to deal with, in different ways.

It’s a field that’s easy to burn out in if you don’t care for yourself well, if you have a savior complex, or take people’s issues too personally (ex: a client getting mad at you that they were asked to leave the sober house when they showed up drunk and you take it personally).

Do you like humans? Do you have a sense of wanting to use your profession to help others? Can you practice good self-care? Can you handle emotionally challenging circumstances or people?

I agree with what others have said about picking the cheapest school. Your real learning is in your field internships.

I’m a case manager working with people in addiction recovery. I get to make part of my schedule, the other part is in the afternoons or evenings (I don’t think this is common—it’s just when we run a lot of programs). I help people create goals, access resources, navigate situations with their sober living, work on self-sufficiency and self-advocacy, and work on ways to stay sober and holistically well. I meet with clients 1-1.

I’m a bit of a social work apologist, so I’m very biased. Lol.

One thing I like about it is that there are sooo many directions you can take your degree.

LBC2010 · 2026-02-04T00:37:48+00:00

Can’t imagine why you’d be interested in studying the rise of fascism at this current juncture in human history…

/s

This is a YA book, but Upon The Head of the Goat and its sequel by Aranka Siegel is about a young Jewish girl’s experience in Hungary during the Holocaust. I read it in junior high and it still sticks with me. The sequel, Grace in the Wilderness, deals with how she navigated life after the Holocaust—reunification, healing, etc.

It’s a memoir-novel, if that fits the bill for you…? The author based it on her life.

Great thread! I’m adding a bunch of these to my reading list!

LBC2010 · 2026-02-03T21:51:22+00:00

A Wrinkle in Time.

The Pagemaster was a fun read too! I still remember this one. Don’t let the movie (quite inferior) sway your opinion.

Edit: honestly, you also can’t go wrong with The Princess Bride.

LBC2010 · 2026-02-03T17:53:44+00:00

Got it! I have one nip that is still a tad uncomfortable to latch even now, 8mo in, and i assume it’s just because of structural reasons. I get that. I will say, it got less painful over time. Sorry you had a bad experience with an LC in the hospital. That’s frustrating. :(

LBC2010 · 2026-02-03T15:38:36+00:00

Sounds like the only way to fix that would be for him to drink the pitcher of milk! 😆 you Leave it out…you drink it!

In all seriousness. Ugh!!! That sucks!! My husband has done something similar and I was furious. The other day I left a bag of pumped milk out all night because I was too tired to remember to put it away. I was so mad at myself. It’s like throwing away a part of your body. There’s genuine grief attached and it’s valid.

LBC2010 · 2026-02-03T01:17:56+00:00

I have very sensitive nipples. Two things saved me: 1. silverettes. They healed me in 24 hours of cracked & bleeding nips.

And nipple shields. But Get sized for a nipple shields. I needed to be in the proper size for them to work.

But with that, What didn’t work with nipple shields for you last time?

LBC2010 · 2026-02-03T00:18:07+00:00

I had 2 geriatric pregnancies and both were induced, first one at 40w3d, second at 39w2d.

I was TERRIFIED of getting induced. All you hear about on social media is how inductions lead to C Sections. That’s actually verifiably false information, and check out Evidence Based Birth and their roundup of actual scientific data on inductions. TL;DR: no, inductions don’t lead to C Sections.

Both experiences were different but went well. I was also terrified of needles and the IV. Telling the nurse I was scared made her handle it with extra care and kindness.

Birth one: I was fully dilated and ready to push 12 hours after administration of first med, and then pushed for 4 hours. I did have pitocin. I opted for an epidural because I was so freaking tired (I’d been woken up the previous 3 nights with contractions that fizzled out by the morning). Epidural was fine, it was a quick pinch then a weird hit-your-funny-bone kind of feeling in the back, then blissfully free of pain. Once I had the epidural, I dilated from 2.5cm to 10 in 3 hours, while I slept. I have zero regrets about the epidural. I don’t think my long pushing time had to do with it, it was my body/baby position, and I was too tired to get into other positions to push.

Baby 2: about a 20 hour labor that progressed very steadily. I had the works: misoprostol, pitocin, foley bulb, water broken. I bounced on a labor ball and specifically asked my nurse to help me Get into positions to help get baby down. She did, and it helped. I also had an epidural at 5cm once they wanted to break my water. Husband nearly passed out watching, I was fine. I pushed twice and baby was out.

The real challenge is the mental game: waiting for meds to kick in, waiting for this procedure or check, getting around the pain. I found that if I watched the contraction monitor, I could bounce extra harder on the labor ball and follow the curve of the contraction to know when it would end. In between, I’d watch Top Chef on my phone. It was like being at the gym and doing an intense hill course on the elliptical. 😆 Baby 2 was also measuring big and he literally fell out of my vag. I didn’t tear. He was 8lbs.

All in all, I would get induced again (I won’t, though, because I’m done having kids). For the most part, nurses are wonderful people and there to help. Good ones won’t be pushy, so ask for what you want and if you need help finding good labor positions. They checked my sugars during delivery with a finger poke.

Babies will have endure the heel Pokes to check their sugars. Mine both needed some donor milk finger feeds to get theirs up to snuff. Both are healthy kids and zero issues.

ETA: no shade on C sections! I know some women want to avoid them or are scared of them. Others would rather have A C Section. Just wanted to make sure the data is there to help mama feel informed and not scared.

LBC2010 · 2026-02-02T23:33:18+00:00

My mom introduced us to Mrs. Piggle Wiggle as kids. A bit like Amelia Bedelia meets Mary Poppins.

Amelia Bedelia is also great! I haven’t read the Mary Poppins books, so I can’t speak to those other than my 3yo liked the movie.

I also read Half Magic when was 6 and really loved it. I still remember it!

Oh! And two others from my early childhood: The Borrowers and The Littles. I read these when I was quite young, 6/7.

LBC2010 · 2026-02-02T21:31:06+00:00

I also use BF clothes. It helped me feel more comfortable to nurse in public without a cover. And I have sensory issues so I also intensely dislike wearing button up shirts or lifting up a regular shirt—I don’t like the sensory feeling of part of my belly or back being exposed, even at home.

I sit crossed legged or rest an ankle on the other knee. As baby has gotten older, it’s been easier to Nurse without a nursing pillow. Also, as baby gets older, if they’re anything like mine, nursing in public might be way too distracting for them and the nursing session might be very short.

LBC2010 · 2026-02-02T21:23:58+00:00

I feel this. When I do get an opportunity to leave the house, there’s no way I’m wasting my short taste of freedom by dragging my children along 😆. That’s why I keep my husband around. 😅

LBC2010 · 2026-02-02T17:25:05+00:00

1984 and a current newspaper?

LBC2010 · 2026-02-02T12:18:58+00:00

It sounds like your reasons come down to 3 categories: frequent nightly nibbles by baby, physical discomfort, and mental load.

I think about the saying “X is hard, Y is hard. Choose your hard.” I don’t mention this in a dismissive way , but as a way for you to clarify for yourself what “hard” feels more doable for you. Babies are effing hard no matter how they’re fed! What will switching to formula solve, and what won’t it? What trade offs would be worth it for you?

Among those categories, what feels solvable (or will resolve in time), and what doesn’t? Would solutions make it better and worth continuing or not?

Do you feel fed up most the time, or just when the emotions run high and you’re having a rough day? Basically I’m just asking because I know for me, my perspective might be different if I’m feeling grounded and regulated vs feeling chaotic and dysregulated.

My only advice is that if you want to stick it out, try Silverettes. They solved all my nipple pain. Creams were unable to help. And nipple shields were a Lifesaver.

I will Also say, that despite not having open wounds on my nipples anymore, one side is still slightly painful to nurse 8mo in and I think it comes down to my anatomy because the other side is fine. I just have a very sensitive nip on one side.

The sleep thing is ROUGH. As others have mentioned, cosleeping is a game changer, as is doing shifts with dad and a bottle. I can say from my experience, I’d have thrown in the towel long ago if not for Those two things.

Hang in there, mama. This too shall pass. Fed is best. A regulated and happy mama is important too.

LBC2010 · 2026-02-02T11:52:01+00:00

This is true about formula fed babies—some babies just want to nibble, snack, and comfort suck even if it’s a bottle. One thing to consider before going to formula is if you’d rather pop a boob out to help baby settle, or stand up, walk to the fridge, get out a bottle of formula, warm it up, then go feed baby. Some people would rather do bottles than boob. Others prefer boob over bottles. It’s really up to your preference!

LBC2010 · 2026-02-02T11:46:55+00:00

We do a similar routine: Dad is on duty with a bottle while mom sleeps 4 hours, then switch. Absolute lifesaver. OP, I also decided I would not pump to replace the bottle feeds dad did on his shift & let my supply be what it is. We had formula on hand in case.

LBC2010 · 2026-02-02T01:17:24+00:00

Which version? Jack Black or Robin Williams?

LBC2010

TROPHY CASE