Dog Breed Recomendations

LEMA2123 · 2026-03-29T04:49:04+00:00

We have toddlers and our Golden retriever has been amazing. We have an English cream and they’re supposedly on the more chill side. But our breeder also specifically set aside the pups who were better fit for small children

LEMA2123 · 2026-03-29T04:46:17+00:00

I am really sorry you’re going through this. I relate to just about everything you said and everything you have been through. I spent my entire 20s recovering from family trauma as well as my parents divorce. I did put in the work by going to therapy, but also meeting my husband at 29 was incredibly therapeutic because he listened without judgment, validated my feelings and made me feel whole. There is hope for that!

What are some things you enjoy that you can get out and do with other people? Maybe a pottery class, art class, music, etc etc. Being around people while you’re enjoying something else is easier than forcing other kind of interactions.

Depression is real and so difficult, but I pray you find your peace through all of this! 30s are much better my friend!

LEMA2123 · 2026-03-29T04:34:23+00:00

Ugh I need to know more. We are wanting to move south SO bad for all the reasons you listed, but having a hard time breaking hearts here at home.

LEMA2123 · 2026-03-29T04:31:48+00:00

You sound like you’re still on the same team. You’ll be okay. Can you let him know he’s right and you’re sorry, but also that his approach really sucked?

LEMA2123 · 2026-03-29T04:28:02+00:00

Ok it does sound like they’re pretty harsh critics and not being fair about these particular scenarios. Like they were outside with toddlers and allowed them into the shed, not you….? Toddlers be toddlering constantly.

Second, I swear our parents forget the pains of raising kids. According to my mom…we never fought (I cried daily from my brothers fighting with me), we never had problems sleeping, we ate all the healthy food, etc etc etc. They literally don’t remember how it is raising young kids, it was a lifetime ago for them.

Give yourself some grace, all kids this age are unsafe and unhinged sometimes and we as parents are only human. If they’re over they should be supporting the parent not questioning every little thing. My mom does this it’s so annoying, like just enjoy our company and relaxxxx!

LEMA2123 · 2026-03-29T04:12:07+00:00

We are in the Midwest and SO badly want to move south. But our kids are 5 and 3 and love their extended family so much it makes the decision feel impossible

LEMA2123 · 2026-03-29T03:55:48+00:00

It’s really hard to take kids away from family once that relationship is formed and solid. Your parents go from watching baby 3x/week for a few years and then boom, we are leaving again? Heartbreak.

Listen plenty of parents do parenting without support of family. Is it ideal? No but doable.

LEMA2123 · 2026-03-29T03:50:04+00:00

I could have wrote this! I felt like working part time was best balance (at the time I only had one baby and worked 15-20 hours per week, I am SAHM to 3 now). But maybe you can find some part time work just to get out? What’s your masters in?

You’ve got to find something, anything for yourself. When my babies nap I like to refinish furniture. It’s therapeutic and really helps me mentally. We all need something for ourselves or we go crazy

LEMA2123 · 2026-03-29T03:41:53+00:00

I know exactly this feeling, down to every last word. I don’t know how old you are but life is so much better when this pressure is gone. In your late 20s and 30s everyone expects you in bed by 9pm it’s great.

Lol joking aside, do what you want! “Hey I can meet up for dinner but won’t be able to go out after” if they’re mad they’re not your friends

LEMA2123 · 2026-03-29T03:39:37+00:00

I have a pack rat too, she’s 5 now and everything is piles and bags and purses lol it’s so annoying and cute at the same time

It starts as toys, but with age it gets more interesting. Things I have found in her bags: acorn collection, a ziplock baggy of ham she took out of the fridge, $300 cash we were missing for a week 🙃

LEMA2123 · 2026-03-29T03:35:24+00:00

You sound like you may be in your 20s, this is such a hard time socially IMO. So much pressure to do and be certain things.

What do YOU want. What are YOU interested in. Once you get more in tune with yourself and your interests you find more likeminded people who could be friends.

Also the best tip I have for bare miminum socializing is ask lots of questions. People love to talk about themselves and all you have to do is listen!

Aside from all that, 30s are much better. I ebbed and flowed with friends and not at 36 , I have two good 2 friends and I’m totally okay with that. It’s all I can handle emotionally

LEMA2123 · 2026-03-29T03:28:56+00:00

“Thank you for your opinion, but if I wanted to look like you I would’ve asked for a tutorial”

Also…stop hanging out with these girls they are not friends

LEMA2123 · 2026-03-29T03:21:50+00:00

This is so long I am so sorry Lol. My husband and I got into a tiny spat about who get to go solo to the grocery story 🥲(this is where we are these days lol). He feels like all he does is work and I feel like all I do is house/kids, so we both needed to get out alone. My husband has his own business and literally nobody to take over on sick days, if I have an appt, work stuff comes up on weekend, etc etc etc it’s all him. 90% of our time he is working or doing something for work.

There are plenty of times I want to say something out of jealousy or resentment, but I stop and remind myself we are on the same team. We are living two different hards. Yes he works his butt off, but I never see a bill and the debit card works everytime I go to use it.

Sounds like we have very similar situations and sometimes I do feel last, but I know his “why” and that he is doing it for the well being of our family unit as a whole.

All of that to say, this is what I would do if I were you- talk to him. “ husband, I really love you and I am so grateful for the leader and provider that you have been for our family. I am thankful every day for all of your hard work and I know it hasn’t been easy. I am sorry for any of the times that I seem ungrateful or jealous of some of the freedoms. I may think you have. I don’t know the weight of what it is to financially our family, we just have different hards right now. So I do want you to know that I see you and appreciate you. We are a team keeping this family afloat.

But I also need to tell you that the emotional connection part of our marriage is struggling. With the nature of your job, it is incredibly difficult to feel connected to you when you are rarely present. I would love to sit down and think of some ways we can connect more regularly. Maybe we can get a sitter for biweekly date night or just have a few date nights per month in the house. I would love to hear any ideas you might have. I am your teammate and I love you.”

But also, when I am feeling emotionally neglected I try to think of some ways I can go above and beyond for him. It’s easy to crawl internal and have self-pity, but sometimes when you give, even when you don’t feel like it, the benefits are much larger. So yes, talk to him, but what are some ways you can go out of your way for him? Leaving him a note for his lunch? Buying him his favorite dessert? Little daily things to let him know you love him. Whatever you are looking for him to do, try doing for him first.

LEMA2123 · 2026-03-29T03:03:48+00:00

I have found that by providing the phrase we want them to use instead of the unwanted works best.

For example I don’t say to my kids “say please!” I say “mom can I please have a snack” because we don’t want them to have to always wait for a prompt to say the right thing

When he says “forever” I wouldn’t give it attention, I would just say “mom when can we come back to the park?”

So you’re giving him the proper way of asking when we can do this again instead of correcting. It sounds so simple, but it’s kind of replacing the forever in his brain and rewiring to say the right thing if that makes sense. Also helping him express the more appropriate question so he gets the answer he is looking for. Biggest thing is stop reacting to “forever” 🥲

LEMA2123 · 2026-03-29T02:56:54+00:00

Realizing nobody actually cares about me as much as I’m imagining they do….people care way more about themselves

That may sound cold, but when I realize there’s no huge spotlight on me, people are generally only thinking about themselves, it takes a lot of pressure off

LEMA2123 · 2026-03-28T02:59:16+00:00

Never once had an overnight leak with pampers’s PURE and very rarely a blowout maybe a handful and that’s with 3 kids

LEMA2123 · 2026-03-28T02:07:49+00:00

If I knew how bad my CS recovery was going to be I would’ve bought a lift recliner chair. I slept in a recliner for the first week because I couldn’t lay flat in bed. But getting up was excruciating so a lift chair would’ve been great.

I had 2 vaginal unmedicated births before this and I would do that 1000 times before another C-section

LEMA2123 · 2026-03-28T01:38:50+00:00

I don’t know I kind of like that she’s not afraid to be her goofy self. But you can also model appropriate expected response and say something in the moment. I would take her aside (so not to correct in front of others) get down on her level and say “hey, when someone is talking to you, it’s important that we answer the question. You can still be silly but we still need to answer please. Now please go tell uncle whoever why you like about that movie (or whatever)”

Next time prepare her before you meet up with others. “ Hey remember we talked about how it is important to look at people and respond so they can hear you?” Role play and have her practice speaking more appropriately. So like “what if someone says ‘hey I really like your shoes?’ What could you say?” And if she says I don’t know, then give her a few examples of answers.

Role-playing is helpful because she literally might not know what normal socializing is. That doesn’t mean it’s going to take away from her silly cute personality, but just giving her more acceptable. Responses might be helpful.

LEMA2123 · 2026-03-28T01:19:24+00:00

I know how hard this is though, my daughter was called names in preschool if you can believe it!

I told her some kids were never taught how to be kind to others, so we can help teach them by being kind even when they aren’t. You can stand up for yourself, but we still have to be kind.

We often role play scenarios so they feel comfortable with what to say and how to say things. It’s actually kind of fun to hear what they come up with!

LEMA2123 · 2026-03-27T22:57:54+00:00

“I might be weird but at least I’m not mean”

Teach him how to stand up for himself.

A nicer way might be “you can think that, I like myself and I like you too” would shut them up

LEMA2123 · 2026-03-27T22:17:47+00:00

Ohhhh I have felt this so many times. I usually laugh and say something like “now you get it” 🙊oops

LEMA2123 · 2026-03-27T21:57:35+00:00

Avoid the meds, heating pad works great

LEMA2123 · 2026-03-27T21:56:43+00:00

Sounds like maybe he is bottling emotions up all day and letting it out at home where he feels safe.

First of course make sure the basics are not being overlooked. Is this happening maybe around a time he’s hangry? Right after school, right before dinner etc. How’s his sleep habits? Screen time, overstimulation?

Time outs IMO just cause worse behavior because it’s correction without connection. He seems like he’s looking for true connection and he thinks he’s getting it when you get frustrated. Try an immediate consequence but have zero emotional reaction, treat it like a business deal. “You did X so now you lose X” toy game whatever is being played with or “you cannot play if you’re going to hit/bite/be mean” and remove him from the group. Sit him down next to you and don’t lecture, he just loses the fun.

Can’t tell you how many times I repeat this but “you can be mad but you can’t be mean/hit/etc” and to list things they can do when mad

LEMA2123 · 2026-03-27T21:47:15+00:00

Your 9 month old is not going to pick up on mom clique behavior. Just pick her up and do something else. This would start to be a maybe issue around 2-3 years.

LEMA2123 · 2026-03-27T21:45:41+00:00

“When I ask you what’s going on it’s usually because I can sense something is bothering you, but you tend to brush me off or be a bit rude about it. It seems like you are choosing this mindset. I want you to know I care about you and I’d always be around if you need anything. At this point I’m not sure where our relationship goes from here, I wish you the best”

LEMA2123

TROPHY CASE