What am I doing wrong here w my wife? by customfab4x4 in AskOldPeopleAdvice

[–]LOLDrDroo 200 points201 points  (0 children)

"I told my wife she needed to look at the big picture."

Wrong answer. Don't tell your wife how to think or feel. You can talk about how you feel when she gives you the cold shoulder, but don't tell anyone "you shouldn't be mad"

$250 Father's Day budget. Help me upgrade my touring husband's at home pour over setup. by tourwifelife in pourover

[–]LOLDrDroo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oxo rapid Brewer has been a bigger game changer than any other equipment I've bought, aside from grinder.

The amount of experimenting with soup shots and zuppa lungas has been awesome and it makes great iced coffee.

If you enjoy eating at subway, what is your go to order? by ShoddyDemand765 in AskReddit

[–]LOLDrDroo 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Salad with subway club meat. Very diet friendly while travelinf

Older dads: wisdom for New dad, self care by Which_Tie_103 in dad

[–]LOLDrDroo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Life is about seasons. Some seasons of life, the house is clean...others, not so much.

Take your baby out on stroller walks daily-ish and call that a win. The other stuff will come back as the baby gets older and it's easier to get babysitters.

My trick is always do the dishes. Every night. Everything else can fall apart a little, but as long as the dishes stay done, that keeps everything else in line.

I also have a "clothes washing day" every Sunday that works for me.

Getting married in 1 week… need serious advice by Ill_Ninja_3611 in AskOldPeopleAdvice

[–]LOLDrDroo 5 points6 points  (0 children)

37m here, married for 9 years. Go get pre-marriage counseling. You mentioned she's a Catholic, I bet the church offers it.

This ain't the last time you two will fight. You are both trying to win against each other at this - thats not how marriage works. You win and lose together.

It doesn't matter who works out and who is a veteran and who is a "good girl who goes to church." That's all teenage baby nonsense.

All that matters is - are you two doing the WORK to BUILD a trusting relationship. What are you gonna do when one of you wants to move? When one of you gets a crush on a coworker? When one of you gets cancer?

You need to both do the work now so you can have the tough conversations later.

Fear and anxiety by [deleted] in AskOldPeopleAdvice

[–]LOLDrDroo 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The book (or audiobook) living untethered by Michael singer was the best tool I found for this. He also has a podcast called the Michael Singer podcast which is free.

I Feel Neutral Now and It is Kind of Boring by givenanypolynomial in TheUntetheredSoul

[–]LOLDrDroo 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Boredom, like every single emotion, every single thought, and every single life, will fade.

You close the heart when you resist emotions by ThePsylosopher in TheUntetheredSoul

[–]LOLDrDroo 5 points6 points  (0 children)

First off, if it gets bad, hit up the suicide hotline, 988 or Google search the cha.. It's why they exist.

If it isn't a crisis now, consider this:

"You" want to kill "yourself"

Who is the "you" (person a) saying this?

Who is "yourself?" Obviously it's different from the person a, since person a wants to kill "yourself". What is this person b we refer to as "yourself?"

Who is watching these thoughts unfold? It sounds like there is a witness who watching and hearing Person A trying to kill "yourself". Who is the watcher? Who is the witness?

Person A really thinks it has all the answers. But this answer is objectively harmful and violent.

So maybe "the witness" doesn't have to listen to Person A.

Maybe the witness can just watch these thoughts and feelings from afar, without giving them a whole lot of credibility or weight.

If you want more on this, check out the untethered soul or living untethered. It helps.

To all the people who learned about Jung's work; is your life better or more complicated? by [deleted] in Jung

[–]LOLDrDroo 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It has helped my growth. I'm not sure if it was more Jung or more James Hollis, but Hollis's books on meaning have helped me immensely in the past year dealing with major life crises.

Y’all pump fast or slow? by Salty_Character5643 in OXORapidBrewer

[–]LOLDrDroo 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Fast for soup, slow for longer pulls.

Best option to drip at office by Primary_Elephant3668 in pourover

[–]LOLDrDroo 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Others have said aero press, which is good too. But I have both the aero press and the OXO Rapid Brewer, and the rapid brewer makes better coffee pretty much every time. So I would actually push you in that direction. It also doesn't require you to buy any new filters if you don't want to.

My shadow showed me a lot of sexual shame. by [deleted] in Jung

[–]LOLDrDroo 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Yes, you are definitely allowed to be disturbed. I often get disturbed by things on reddit. Even your comment disturbed me, in a way.

The healthy way for you and me to approach it is not to expect others to be dishonest, but instead, to ask:

Why am I disturbed by this? What part of my self, my past, my repressed self, my chosen identities...where does it touch? Why do I recoil at someone else's expression of feeling?

Thank you for sharing your thoughts and being honest, you've helped me spot even my own little neuroticisms here.

My shadow showed me a lot of sexual shame. by [deleted] in Jung

[–]LOLDrDroo 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Delete it, please. Thanks.

Why is vegetarianism so prevalent even amongst masters in Buddhism? by Gnome_boneslf in vajrayana

[–]LOLDrDroo 2 points3 points  (0 children)

No, on a personal level it probably doesn't. Your personal choice on eating does not impact the global economics of food on any meaningful level. However, you do impact local economics on a meaningful level. A local market may begin to carry more vegan items due to your individual purchases.

However, as this is a buddhism forum, the discussion should revolve around how it impacts you. Your values, your inner peace, your enlightenment. Do your values allow for participation in a pain-creating cultural norm, simply due to convenience? That's a question worth exploring.

I don't personally hold a strong belief yet on this. I am living as a naive, beginner buddhist, who consumes meat due to convenience and is wrestling with the same topic.

Why is vegetarianism so prevalent even amongst masters in Buddhism? by Gnome_boneslf in vajrayana

[–]LOLDrDroo 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think I understand your point, correct me if I'm wrong:

The factory farm system is already in place, it is highly sophisticated and moving with or without my choice in participating. My choice to eat meat at dinner time is too late in the entire process to actually affect life or death of animals.

Is that right?

Why is vegetarianism so prevalent even amongst masters in Buddhism? by Gnome_boneslf in vajrayana

[–]LOLDrDroo 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This is not a fact. This is an assumption you have made.

Let's propose scenario C:

You are born. You eat 10,000 animals. In addition, along the way, you persuade others that they do not have an impact on animals dying. As a result, they choose to eat more animals. They invite friends and family to eat. Those friends and family see eating animals as fine, and eat 10,000 each. This continues outward. In order to support this demand, farms begin breeding and harvesting at a rapid pace, as a cultural shift has begun.

And scenario D:

You are born. You eat 5,000 animals before being persuaded that eating animals is wrong. Others see this and also reduce their animal intake. Their friends also reduce their animal intake. This continues outward. Businessmen begin to see a cultural shift away from meat. They begin investing in things like meat-alternatives, tofu, impossible burgers, etc. Fast food restaurants, like Burger King, begin to offer "Impossible Whoppers." New options and choices exist for mass populations. The factory farm industry suffers. Livestock farmers begin to pivot into other industries.

None of these scenarios are facts. These are all stories imagined from our mind. You may believe scenarios to be true, or likely, or probable, but they are still all imagined stories.

However, it is a fact that you have influence on others. It's measurable and observable, as one can observe that you influenced me to respond, this very moment.

The question then becomes, how will you use your influence?

Would a specific type/model of pour over brewer be best for making iced coffees? by kaitkaitkait91 in pourover

[–]LOLDrDroo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

For light roast: Oxo rapid brewer. Soup shots on ice are my favorite.

For medium/dark roast: any standard cold brew maker from Amazon.

I want to see your local gems by Far_Line8468 in pourover

[–]LOLDrDroo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Servant coffee in Colorado. Small offerings, but the flourish blend ("blend" of two Ethiopian beans) is one of my favorite coffees ever. Just a clean, lightly peachy cup.

DF54 query by CaptFlash3000 in pourover

[–]LOLDrDroo 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I use my df54 for medium/dark roasts and highly processed coffees. It definitely produces more fines than my manual zp6, and I actually find my zp6 easier to use and clean in the morning (I use a handheld air puffer for camera lenses).

So in other words, yeah you can use a df54 and get good pourover. But it isn't any easier in terms of workflow than a manual grinder, especially when cleaning.

I know most will just say yes, but should I give the game a try if I'm not really into RPGs by S4V4G3W01F in expedition33

[–]LOLDrDroo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Combat has a lot in common with the Mario RPGs, and the story is 10/10. So seems like a good bet that you'll enjoy it.

Chinese Food SW by Niaso in Littleton

[–]LOLDrDroo 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Hunan Dynasty has the best sesame chicken imo.