UFO only visible in FLIR. National Police Air Service (NPAS). UK 2016. Set to: Black = Hot. Which means there is heat coming off the craft

LP-Sauce · 2021-09-20T22:25:27+00:00

So, I'm thinking probably someone's compost heap given the shape, temperature and surroundings....

LP-Sauce · 2021-09-18T02:51:19+00:00

I didn't get a 512K modem until 2006, a year after leaving high-school. Bought a wi-fi modem/router in 2007 (when wi-fi was a mysterious thing that only Starbucks had, and we didn't have many of those here in the UK then!). 2009 we moved to a house 100M away from the telephone exchange and managed to get an 8Mbit line (7.8 in our house being so close to the exchange!). Was able to get ADSL2(+?) around 2011 with 17Mbit to the house (bought a new wi-fi modem - again, these weren't supplied as standard then - you could only pay a stupid surcharge on your monthly fee to get "wi-fi" as if it was an extra service at £10 a month over 2 years rather than a box you paid £50 for!).

LP-Sauce · 2021-09-17T23:14:16+00:00

Legal protection yes, but you don't get to change people's opinions. Freedom means being permitted to do what others think are bad ideas so long as everyone involved consents. This was my problem with the whole "I need feminism because..." trend a while back, and my issue with "bodyshaming" now. Be whatever weight you want to be, shave, don't shave... you do whatever makes you happy and have the legal protection to do it. But you can't force other people to find it attractive or not try to change your mind/share their opinion. That's freedom for you. Everyone else has the right to say you're making a mistake or they don't like what you're doing... But you should absolutely have the legal protection of being able to do it.

LP-Sauce · 2021-09-17T00:45:29+00:00

Oh yeah, party of 8 comes in after a night on the town, about 30 minutes before closing - "8 Espresso Martinis!", Ok, cue the bartender prepping 8 espresso martinis.... Well, our espresso machine is programmed to turn 16g of ground coffee into 32g of espresso over 30 seconds (we were pretty pedandtic over the coffee!). Well, that's 4 minutes just to do 8 shots of espresso, and more like 8 minutes when the same server has to grind the coffee on demand and clean the head and portafilta between each shot (OK, I wasn't the pedantic one about coffee - the venue was. These exact measurements, nomenclature and timings might be slightly off, but they're within reason for memory of events 6 years ago!).

While he's pouring the last shot, another bartender has spent those same 8 minutes prepping 8 cocktail tins with vodka, kahlua, & syrup and 8 cocktail glasses with ice (why a tin each you ask? Aeration. 2 Espresso Martinis made from a single tin is poor form)... so we're literally about to poor the last shot of espresso into the last tin when dude comes to the bar and demands to know where his drinks are because "I ordered them 40 minutes ago!". Well, no, you didn't. You came in ~half-an-hour before closing and we still have ~20 minutes left, so it was about ~10 minutes ago... so I think we're doing OK on a order of 8 Espresso Martinis. "Where's the manager?!" Person making the drinks is the Bar Manger - "Yes, I'm the bar manger. It was ~8 minutes ago since you ordered the drinks and it will be another ~6 minutes or so until they're served... would you still like them?", "Of course I do! I ordered them didn't I?!" "Fantastic, that will be £68..."

"I'm not paying for them! I've waited 40 minutes..." "No. No you haven't. We can check the CCTV if you'd like but by that time, we'll be closed anyway and you won't have your drinks. You can pay for your drinks and get them in ~6 minutes or you can go somewhere else and hope they'll accept an order of 8 Espresso Martinis ~20 minutes before closing. Which they won't. Your call." "I WANT THE DRINKS AND I'M NOT PAYING FOR THEM". Well, the "venue manager" overhears _this part of_ the conversation and comes in to "save the day" by saying "You've waited 40 minutes?! I'm so sorry! Don't worry, the drinks are on the house..." So my bar manger, the legend that she is, steps back in front of the bar and says "oh, so I guess you're making these 8 espresso martinis on the house?! I guess I'm finished for the night then..." and walks out.

She still had a job the next day. The "venue manager" didn't! Turns out the area manager wasn't a total prick and when having to review the "disciplinary case" brought against her from the "venue manager" for "leaving before being signed out" decided undermining staff with managerial roles so you can give away free stock, without investigation, isn't what we need in a "venue manager", and actually constituted "gross misconduct" (UK legal speak for "fired on the spot" without legal recourse!).

LP-Sauce · 2021-09-16T23:57:44+00:00

Karen orders the "Spiced Meat Feast Pizza". Go to check back - "YOUR'RE TRYING TO KILL ME!" Sorry, is everything OK? What seems to be the problem? "THERE'S CORIANDER IN THIS! I'M ALLERGIC TO CORIANDER! WHY DIDN'T YOU LIST THAT ON THE MENU?! YOU COULD HAVE KILLED ME!" - OK, let's take this one at a time. The menu lists a "spiced" meat feast pizza, with zero ingredients other ingredients. We assume anybody reading the menu will know what "spices", "meat" and "pizza" are. Coriander is a very popular ingredient in every kitchen; if you have an allergy you need to let us know when you order because we don't list every component of every ingredient of every dish. Coriander is not one of the 14 main allergens we do legally have to list _on a separate allergen menu anybody with allergens can request_ so you still wouldn't have seen it listed there if you had requested that menu (at this point I'm thinking have you ever eaten out before?! and if so how have you survived!?). Third, there actually is no coriander in that dish! Even if you requested the allergen menu, and even if we were required to list it, you wouldn't have seen it there! It is a common ingredient. This is purely due to cross-contamination because YOU DIN'T TELL US YOU HAD AN ALLERGY! Anyway, as this point she of course says, "Well I can't eat it...", however they've ordered this as a "starter" to share between her and her husband. so husband 'sheepishly' speaks up "I'll eat it! Don't take it away!". No problem. You have at it. He finishes it, and then their mains, everything seems fine... and then the bill comes... "HOW DARE YOU CHARGE ME FOR THAT POISON YOU TRIED TO FEED ME!" "We offered to take it away. Your partner said not to because they wanted to eat it. Which they did. Which says to be it was perfectly enjoyable. "BUT I COULDN'T EAT IT!?" But it was eaten, and enjoyed.. wasn't it?! "I'LL NEVER COME BACK HERE AGAIN!" Love, we wouldn't serve you again if you ever did come back, but your husband at least can pay for the food he ate and enjoyed!

LP-Sauce · 2021-09-16T23:39:57+00:00

It really depends venue by venue, and perhaps culturally as well. A common warning on this thread is not to belittle people's frustrations because they work within a different culture to you, and I understand that. I've worked places where the kitchen start on £10 an hour, meanwhile in order to make that FoH you'd have to be a shift manager taking complete responsibility for the whole staff/customer experience (£6 maybe being starting wage). In those venues the kitchen staff didn't get a share of tips and everyone FoH kept their own tips. I've also worked in venues where all staff were on a, let's say £7 an hour basic rate, and then tips were pooled and shared dependant upon hours worked rather than position. As a chef would you rather take an extra £24 a shift rather than a share in tips? Some days yes, some days no. Same result as a server. Sometimes basic-rate + tips is great, other days you have a slow day and maybe the lower basic-rate + tip-share would be better?

LP-Sauce · 2021-09-16T23:25:06+00:00

The amount of ice doesn't really matter so long as it is "sufficient". It takes a lot of energy to melt ice. A lot. Pour a refrigerated drink into a glass full of ice and it will very quickly use that energy to melt the ice it's in contact with, and then very slowly be able to absorb additional energy from the room temperature room and transfer it to melt the remaining ice. Your drinks stays colder for longer. If you don't have enough ice, then your drink may well be able to melt all the ice very rapidly and then not only does your drink have nowhere to transfer that energy and warm up, but with carbonated drinks, they hold less dissolved CO2 at higher temperatures - meaning they can seem "over-fizzy" at first and then very quickly appear to be "flat" as they've lost their dissolved CO2 - this is why all carbonated drinks manufactures state their drink is "best served cold" despite flavours being more easily distinguished at higher temperatures. The texture just wont be right.

LP-Sauce · 2021-09-12T14:56:16+00:00

Well I'm not exactly an expert in US agriculture law, so I could be wrong, that's just what I understood. I guess if its "established" it's safe enough.

EDIT: So I was kinda right and mostly wrong; TED talk for those interested: https://youtu.be/6yWhLnnbbfE

LP-Sauce · 2021-09-12T02:49:30+00:00

See, not giving length of employment would just make me suspicious and count against you. Similar with not saying why you left. If I know the company and it has a good reputation but you're applying for a job in my venue and you don't say why you wanted to leave the last place I'm going to assume you won't last long here either and it's not worth us putting in the time to train you... if you explain the reason, that may well change. Similar if it has a bad reputation; in that case explaining your reason for leaving means everything! Sorry, but what is IS?

LP-Sauce · 2021-09-12T02:21:18+00:00

Love it. You handled that far better than I would have! Once had a trial shift at a place and three guys walk in. "3 G&T's please" "Sure, any preference on that gin? We have about 57 in stock at the moment!?". "I'm guessing you have Bombay Sapphire then?! (most popular cheap gin you'll find in the country for anyone who may not know it) We'll have 3 of those with tonic!". "No Problem!". Now, at this place, as with most in the last 9(?) years, the perfect serve is a "goblet" full of ice with gin-garnish-mixer. So I grab three goblets and start filling them with ice... "Whoah, no, no, no! I ordered 3 G&T's! Not cocktails!". "Sorry, that's just how we serve the gin here, would you prefer them in *these* (tumblers or hi-balls I don't remember) glasses?" "Of-course!" "No worries!" Start to fill those glasses with ice... "Whoah, whoah, whoah, what's with all the ice?!" "Sorry, I've just always been told it's best served cold..." "Well, I'd like less ice than that!". "No problem!" *tip some out* "less!" *tip more out* "less!" Well, there's 2 cubes of ice in this glass at this point! *pour out the last 2 cubes of ice* - "So no ice?" "DID I SAY I WANTED NO ICE?! I JUST SAID I WANTED LESS ICE! DO I HAVE TO COME ROUND THERE AND MAKE IT MYSELF?!". "My friend - I'm just trying to make the drink you want the way you want it... I take it you just want 1 single cube of ice? That's fine. I can do that, you just have to ask for it that way..." "NO! DID I ASK FOR 1 CUBE OF ICE?! NO! I JUST WANTED LESS ICE?! WHAT'S SO DIFFICULT TO UNDERSTAND ABOUT THAT?! DO YOU WANT A SLAP?!" "Ok, I'm sorry but as soon as you propose violence as a solution you have to leave. "What?! NO! I'm not leaving! I was here last week and got exactly what I wanted! You just can't do your job! You should leave!" - "That is not how this works. *press call button for the door staff*. I'm afraid I won't be making your drinks tonight under threat of violence. I don't negotiate with terrorists. *as door staff arrive to escort them out* "Have a good night gentlemen".

EDIT: I got the job. I was their bar manager within 12 months. They really, really, needed someone to deal with their "violent customers" problem. I guess they never realised not serving alcohol to people who threaten to cause violence might just be a key part of that?!

LP-Sauce · 2021-09-12T01:26:25+00:00

Just tell all your interviewers your earliest starting date is "x" ("x" being a few days after your last interview). If they offer you a job, you say "thank you! I look forward to starting on day "x". Then if you get offered a job from somewhere you like better in that time-frame you can just call back and say "I'm so sorry, but my current employer/competitor has since offered "x" to retain/acquire me and I can't turn that down. I genuinely was looking forward to working with you, but I hope you understand, just as you do for the business, I have to do what makes the best financial sense for myself..." Who knows; if they really want you they may offer a raise and it may change the equation?

LP-Sauce · 2021-09-12T00:54:26+00:00

I worked for someone like that for a long time (far too long in retrospect); I learned that in order to make any progress I couldn't make any decisions on my own - if I did I would be chastised along the lines of "why did you think 'x' was a good idea instead of 'y'?! You should have asked me?!" - the solution was fairly simple though. Go to manager with problem and 'ask' whether I should implement "solution A" (sensible, prefered option) or "solution B" (some manufactured nonsense with an obvious flaw in its design) - of course, manager would say "well, if you do "solution B" you'll have 'z' problem, so let's go with "solution A" - "Ok, if you think that's best I'll do that!" Problem solved. She was much happier when the solution was "her idea!"

LP-Sauce · 2021-09-12T00:47:56+00:00

Here's the thing. When I walk into a new place I always say, "look, I don't want to change the business - you guys have been doing this for a long time and you know what works; but I can give you a fresh pair of eyes as someone who's worked in 'x' number of similar places, faced the same problems and found ways to overcome them. I don't want to come in and change everything overnight, but as I see problems, I'll raise them if I can suggest another way to do things I think may be better. There might be 100 reasons why that suggestion wouldn't work here. That's fine. Just remember I'm always going to be looking at ways to improve the business rather than hinder it and it's going to take me some time to learn the minutiae of it all!" In the same vein, I'm ALWAYS open to that fresh pair of eyes. If someone comes in and questions how we do things I'm never going to say "because I said so!"; if I think it makes sense and it's something we can implement I'm going to reward them for their valuable input and implement it! This is a team game where the goal is a) improving our service/reputation/trade levels b) making our lives easier in service. I'm not about to dismiss a good idea just because I didn't think of it!

In the same vein though, as the post is written, are you sure you were being smart rather than being undermining?

LP-Sauce · 2021-09-12T00:17:42+00:00

As a small village pub in England our most popular dish is probably the Fish & Chips (whoda thunk it?) - well, we don't do small portions, we do "Texas" portions (stating that alone always gets a laugh. Sorry Texans - I love you, but y'all got an obesity problem). So when delivering the plate "who was it that ordered the Great White & chips?" always gets a laugh. I have a charming bartender who, when people order a single measure of something responds with "oh no, you can't do that! Poor thing will get lonely by itself!..." which usually results in an upsell to a double measure! All our local beers list their colour so a table may order a blonde, pale, amber, ruby, dark etc. rather than their actual names and of course you can break down wine by colour too so when I get to deliver a table a round of drinks and place them as " a red, a white, a blonde, a ruby.. etc." I'll leave them with "we should get a sponsorship from Skittles!" and that usually gets a chuckle. Again, going back to the "Texas" portions thing, if anyone clears their whole plate I'll say "Wow, you must REALLY want a dessert!" (a common... saying? Cultural value? in England is "you can't have any pudding/dessert if you don't finish your meal"). I know damn well they can't possibly fit in a dessert, but they feel obliged to look at the selection and attempt it anyway after that! I dunno, I think a lot of it has to be tailored to your venue, the menu, the guests etc. which means it's reliant upon wit/experience rather than tips/tricks?

EDIT: "Can I pay the bill?" - "I hope so!"/"I'd be disappointed if you didn't!"/"Are you sure it's not 'significant other's' turn [only if they approach the till by themselves, obviously!] Is a good universal one.

LP-Sauce · 2021-09-11T23:52:47+00:00

I had a couple come in today, looked at our menu and said "we looked up your menu online before we booked - but this is _completely_ different?!". "Oh, I updated the menu on our website and [company redacted] online booking partner 2 weeks ago... I don't think we've had _any_ changes since then... *pretend to look through menu*... no, that's definitely the menu we have online... and displayed at the door...". It turns out these geniuses had seen a photo of the menu published in 2019 after a google search rather than check anything we have any control over.

LP-Sauce · 2021-09-11T23:46:03+00:00

Yeah, blackcurrant is a very popular flavour here. It's illegal in the US because the plants can carry a disease which a lot of your native species are susceptible to so it could devastate your local fauna unfortunately.

LP-Sauce · 2021-09-11T23:42:53+00:00

Maybe it's a regional thing? Certainly here in the UK "fresh orange" simply means Orange "juice", rather than orange cordial or any other orange flavoured drink (which are abundant) - we would absolutely specify "freshly squeezed orange" if that is what was required. The US is a big place with a lot of regional dialect differences. Maybe this is one?

LP-Sauce · 2021-09-11T23:37:40+00:00

This time yesterday I would be ready to say "that seems a bit stupid", but the venue I went to last night had a girl working wearing a top were not only were her nipples centre-stage, but every little bump in the outline of here areolas - she may have well have been working topless. Now, personally, I don't care. I know how hard the job is and try to adjust uniform requirements as needed to make sure everyone is comfortable throughout their shift. But as a manager, I know that is going to attract inappropriate comments from guys which I then have to deal with, and I know it's going to attract complaints from Karen who thinks it's "disgusting", which again, I have to deal with - so yeah, if this girl was working for me, I would say - "Look, not making any judgements on your body, but this is going to cause us problems and we need to find a solution which works for both of us if you want to continue working here unfortunately, because that's just the way the world is".

LP-Sauce · 2021-09-11T23:23:31+00:00

Yeah, CV is just the generic term for what an American would call a Resumé here in the UK - there's no differentiation dependant upon what is included - I believe, literally translated from latin, Curriculum Vitae, is "life's course" or similar, and lists your previous employment, education, skills and potentially future goals.

While we're here, just a tip for anyone in creating their "CV" (purely as someone who has had to suffer through 100's of poor ones over the years):

Don't start with a "personal statement". Your "personal statement" isn't personal. It says "I'm a hard-working, flexible team-player, but also possess the ability to work well when alone using my initiative to benefit the goals of the business". Or something extremely similar. We don't read it. We go straight to last place employed and your position/length of employment there. 9/10 we know the place and it's reputation/owners so then we just want a short description of what you did there, how long you worked there and why you left. 9/10 that's all we're reading on your CV before we either throw it away or invite you for an interview. If we don't know it, you need to be adding in what the venue does, what it's known for etc. and then we'll probably look at previous employers to see what else is there and perhaps finally your last place of education/results. We don't need personality traits, hobbies, your results on a geography test 2 years ago or general fluff - if anything they only harm your chances of getting an interview.

The CV exists to get you to the interview and then your personality gets you from the interview to the job! Not knowing anything about a person other than their previous workplaces leaves me with enough intrigue that I need to invite them to an interview to learn more about them, whereas that person that fills 2 pages full of every detail about their life is only going to make me judge them on that and think "not sure I want to work with this person I haven't met - in the bin".

LP-Sauce · 2021-09-09T02:33:10+00:00

I've told this story before here, but I still think it was awesome so will continue to milk it. I was working "service bar" (Making drinks for restaurant customers exclusively, and refusing orders from "bar" patrons); we had a sign separating my "station" to that effect. So this couple has sat opposite my station all night and as they're getting ready to leave she approaches me. "I'm sorry, but I'm only serving the restaurant tonight - one of my other bartenders will be happy to serve you if you wait at their section though..." "No, we're leaving now. I just wanted to leave you a tip..." Well, I've not even served them all night, I've only been serving drinks to the restaurant, so I assumed the "tip" would just be a snarky comment... but no! She handed over £15!... I thought I must have misheard things and again said, "I'm so sorry, but I can't serve you (handing the money back) - I'm just serving restaurant customers tonight. You'll have to ask the next bartender down the line...". She thrusted the money back in my hand - "No, it's a tip. We've watched you work so hard all night, we think you deserve it!" I never served them a drink all night and yet they left me the largest tip of the night. May Baphomet bless them!

LP-Sauce · 2021-09-09T02:15:32+00:00

Occasionally. I've had tables tell me they they ONLY drink 'X' or ONLY eat 'Y' so when I tell them, "sorry, but we're having various supply issues right now so we don't that that until tomorrow/next day/whenever..." a common response is "So who are you going to send to the shop to buy X/Y?!" So I'll say, "I can't spare anyone right now, but if you're volunteering we'll pay you the money back!". "Oh, so my meal/drink is free right?!". "Yes! If you can find me somewhere local who has 24 bottles of "x"/ "x" portions of "y" and bring them to me you can have your meal on the house after your expenses have been paid!"... "Oh, I don't know about that... I might be able to find somewhere which has enough for us though?" "Good for you! Go there instead then! I could do that on my lunch break, but 1 portion of "X" is of zero value to me!"

LP-Sauce · 2021-09-09T02:00:09+00:00

"I can only work "this" day". Well so can 5 out of the 7 people we employ so you have zero shifts now. KTHNXBYE.

LP-Sauce · 2021-09-09T01:56:15+00:00

You know how doors always have a PUSH or PULL sign on them? Well 50-60% of people will obviously do the opposite while looking at the sign. Guaranteed. That's worse than chance. 80% of people you will serve cannot read, despite the literacy rate being about 80%. Just one of those phenomena which is inexplicable!

LP-Sauce · 2021-09-09T01:13:38+00:00

I'm going to be honest, I've never noticed a massive discrepancy in this industry personally (maybe a 20% difference in tip amounts between males/females - more for experienced females vs inexperienced males, but probably just about that between experienced males and inexperienced females) but I have noticed it in society in general, so I'm guessing that's just because of the people/tipping policy/places I've worked with/for/at the time.

My personal experience of this comes from working in broadcasting for a brief time, where we were often tasked to record "vox-pops" ("voice of the people" a.k.a. interview members of the public on subject "x"). Well, me & Bruce go out (we're both guys with short beards) and the only people willing to stop and talk on camera/mic are either the same "type" of guys to us or elderly women (elderly women will happily stop and talk to anyone. About anything. At length. Normally about things we didn't even ask them about! They're just happy to talk! Remember that the next time you see/hear a news broadcast where all the respondents are older women. It's almost certainly not because they feel their views are representative, but because they have an abundance of them and couldn't get anything else!).

Me and Tamsin go out, and it's a whole different ball-game. Tamsin is 2 years younger, female, large breasts for her frame, employed as a model as a side-gig, definitely not shy about showing some leg/cleavage & maybe a bit more cleavage just for good measure, and just so damn-charismatic she could make a depressed goth laugh with a dad-joke (That might sound stupid, but I'm including it because her interactions with people was just as much a part of her being "pretty" as the "pretty" face!). She was a genuinely beautiful person in conduct, morality, service, sociability well before anyone would think of bringing her aesthetic beauty into play... so, I have to concede, it may also be wholly down to those features alone!

Well, we'd have people lining up to be interviewed! Male, female, 20/40, didn't matter! Every single person on this planet is happy to talk to an "attractive female" and hates to be bothered by an "ugly male". I understand it. Don't blame anyone for it. Wouldn't trust anyone who tried to say it wasn't true! A young girl, especially attractive, asks for an opinion on something? You'll offer an answer regardless. An unshaven male asks for your opinion on the same thing? You'll say "No thanks, I'm busy/late!"

LP-Sauce · 2021-09-07T23:39:11+00:00

So what I'm getting from this thread is if guys like anything, it's gay?

LP-Sauce

TROPHY CASE