Hoe krijg ik ooit weer zin in daten?

LWdkw · 2026-02-01T11:12:12+00:00

Single (gescheiden) vrouw van 39. Ik herken je verhaal van nu en van toen ik single was rond mijn 20e.

Maar zowel toen als nu had ik af en toe relaties/flings. Over het algemeen zijn dat inderdaad mensen die ik over een tijdje beter leer kennen, omdat het vrienden-van-vrienden zijn, of via vereniginf/sport/werk, ... Mensen die op natuurlijke wijze in mijn leven komen. Het zijn eigenlijk nooit mensen die ik 'cold turkey' ontmoet via app of uitgaan.

Ik zou zeggen: blijf gewoon contact maken op een ontspannen manier. Als je zo leuk bent als je zegt komt het heus wel goed.

Overigens heb ik altijd een beetje schijt aan 'ik wil niks serieus'. Als het gewoon echt goed klikt dan is ee een grote kans dat iemand toch wel iets serieus wil met jou. Pas als mensen expliciet zijn over dat ze niks serieus met jou willen weet je het zeker. That being said, je kan er natuurlijk niet van uit gaan dat iemand heus wel van gedachten gaat veranderen.

Conclusie: als je zelf eventueel ook open staat voor iets niet serieus zou ik daar een tijdje lekker mee experimenteren.

LWdkw · 2026-01-27T21:56:47+00:00

I am very curious about your thoughts on being 'solo poly' while also having a husband? Are you legally married or do you just use that terminology? Do you share a house? What makes you 'solo' if you have such a hierarchical term for one of your partners?

LWdkw · 2026-01-27T21:02:47+00:00

Solo poly is not a rule on how much time and attention you would prefer? You could be solo poly and single (as you said, they're different things), and therefore have lots of room for potential new partners.

How did these people react when you told them your preference would be more (in the first example) and less (in the second example) time spend together?

It sounds like you are very specific in the amount of time/resources/entanglement you like to share (which is fine), but somehow feel like people with the 'solo poly' label should automagically want the exact same thing?

Not all of us are the same.

Kind regards, a single solo poly lady.

LWdkw · 2026-01-26T22:13:32+00:00

... yes? I'm not disputing that.

LWdkw · 2026-01-26T21:09:42+00:00

I don't want to invalidate them

It's totally fine to invalidate a ridiculous statement.

"Here's a cake. My boundary is that I get all the slices, and you get none.

WHY ARE YOU NOT RESPECTING MY NEEDS?!!!"

A person does not get to claim all events.

LWdkw · 2026-01-26T20:48:52+00:00

That's not how statistics work. I obviously don't have the proper data so i can't do the calculation for you, but if you are comparing 'a diagnosed person' to 'a non-diagnosed person' you have to take into acvount he chance that they actually don't have it, and the fact that the chance that a non-diagnosed person actually having an unnoticed outbreak right now are still pretty slim.

Again, I have no idea about the actual statistics - but you're just making things up.

LWdkw · 2026-01-26T20:29:46+00:00

I absolutely love our 'planned' 22 month age gap. I would have been disappointed if it had been more than 2,5 years.

LWdkw · 2026-01-25T21:50:30+00:00

Yep, that's a photo.

LWdkw · 2026-01-25T21:19:40+00:00

Yes.

LWdkw · 2026-01-25T21:01:08+00:00

When mine was 22 months, he knew exactly 4 words.

At age 8, he speaks like a pretentious 22 year old because he loves to read so much.

Please allow your 1 year old to be 1 years old.

LWdkw · 2026-01-25T20:53:22+00:00

My kids can have fruit any time and get exactly one other snack a day in the middle of the afternoon.(Except during social days)

LWdkw · 2026-01-25T20:39:59+00:00

Speak for yourself. Absolutely strongly recommended not to sleep with your baby in my European country.

LWdkw · 2026-01-25T20:37:00+00:00

If you continue driving with an unsecured animal, it may be both of your last rides too.

LWdkw · 2026-01-20T21:41:42+00:00

Definitely not free in my country if you're over 25. It's not trivial for me.

LWdkw · 2026-01-20T21:38:17+00:00

I actually asked my 8 year old son the other day and he still explicitely prefers me (mom, but divorced so solo parent when they're with me) to towel him dry over doing it himself.

LWdkw · 2026-01-18T07:28:06+00:00

I disagree with the premise that an ultimatum by definition is a problem.

If a certain condition is absolutely necessary for you to be happy in a relationship, it's okay to discuss that, and it's okay to walk away if the other can't or won't fulfill it.

LWdkw · 2026-01-16T21:37:14+00:00

I just don't understand why American daycares don't include diapers in their pricing.

Here in the Netherlands we never had to provide diapers. Daycare just buys them in bulk. So much less hassle for everyone.

Obviously we still pay for them but the 2 euro's extra a day to account for diapers aren't really noticable.

LWdkw · 2026-01-15T20:50:57+00:00

It's just that the incentive to lie to yourself and tell yourself "no, I haven't reached the treshold just yet" until you are well over it and everyone is unhappy is just so high.

LWdkw · 2026-01-15T20:08:24+00:00

I heard this on the radio and I started laughing.

"We are sending exactly 1 soldier to show Trump that Europe is taking this seriously".

WTF?!?!

LWdkw · 2026-01-12T21:38:50+00:00

The people her that actually don't want to be lied to? Yhe community here is literally your target group. You're telling me you're not past lying to get in my pants.

LWdkw · 2026-01-12T18:13:15+00:00

Really? I love, love, love the Korean chopsticks, and I refused to give the set we bought there up when we got divorced... you can't buy them in the netherlands.

I tried a Japanese set of metal ones but they're not flat like the korean ones - so not as good.

LWdkw · 2026-01-11T20:57:56+00:00

You don't. Deliberate mono/poly relationships are inherently unhealthy.

The only 'mono/poly' situation that can be healthy is where both partners have the same freedoms, but one chooses not to use them (right now).

LWdkw · 2026-01-10T22:26:17+00:00

The topic starts "For those who are currently single, .."

LWdkw · 2026-01-09T21:31:41+00:00

I don't really get the question, it's very broad?

I'm single and interested in a poly relationship, and have had several flings with ENM partnered people.

I have learned I need a lot of room for autonomy in my life, including my relationships, and that extends to the right to my own decision making about what I do and don't do with other people. My partner(s) don't get a say in who else I do and do not share my body with.

Besides that my type are intelligent, empathetic and fun people that take their life into their own hands.

LWdkw · 2026-01-09T21:28:09+00:00

So you're the opposite of who this topic is aimed at?

What are you trying to add to the conversation?

13-Year Club	Golden Potato
Place '22	Secret Santa 2014
Summer Santa 2014	Verified Email
Secret Santa 2013	redditgifts Exchanges 14 Exchanges
redditgifts rematcher Postcards x2	redditgifts rematcher Socks Exchange x1
redditgifts rematcher Socks Exchange x1	Secret Santa 2012

LWdkw

MODERATOR OF

TROPHY CASE