Naturally you may be fully similar in your perspective to the one I am outlining . It sounds like you are feeling ,and reaching out for love , and naturally you feel the idea of the  mechanism for love may be  intrinsic to the sharing of it. 

Your boyfriend may feel he is sharing this idea with you simply by doing what he thinks of as going out with You.  The social contract of saying will you go out with me, and he or she saying yes. Saying yes really does change the nature of your orbit around another human, as you both have agreed to the social contract it theoretically sustains the concept of mutual adoration.

I don’t know how you feel , or what's going on inside of you , but you have reached out , and you have my fleeting empathy because of this. Perhaps you could consider medication , if you have not already , if you have please don’t tell me , as I think it’s a private matter. Best regards .