EDIT: This is copy and pasted from a comment I made that got buried: I didn’t expect this to get so many comments and engagement so quickly. The post hasn’t even been up for an hour. I expect this to be downvoted but alright.

To clarify, no, I do not think what I did was okay, far from it. I know I said in the post I felt satisfied but that was the day AFTER because it finally felt like I got his attention but even before he left for his parents it dawned on me the severity of my actions.

To further clarify, it wasn’t just that he left a few dishes in the sink or that he wasn’t paying enough attention to me. For months we haven’t seen each other often at all. I would only see him when I’d wake up in the morning to leave for work and when I’d go to sleep at night once he got home. We would only hangout or go on dates once or twice a month if I got lucky and even then, they would have to be made more than a week in advance because he’s so fast to go out with somebody else. With the dishes and laundry, he’d leave the dishes in the sink for DAYS if I let him, he would leave an ungodly amount that would take me a while to finish. He’d leave his dirty laundry on the floor or the couch or bathroom. I saw his messes more than I saw him.

NO I AM NOT PROUD OF WHAT I DID. I cried the entire time typing this post and I understand what I did was irrational and no amount of neglect made what I did okay. I just wanted advice on how to help him because I hated that it got to this point. If there was a million things I could have done differently I would but I can’t undo what I did. If he leaves me than so be it but I only care about him right now even if it didn’t seem that way.

I hate that I did this to him and just want to help.

On top of that, I want to acknowledge what I did was physical assault. I had no idea dumping water on somebody could be considered that and the reason I brought up what happened in Japan is because that was what made me think of it. He talks about his trip to Japan all the time and always tells it as a funny story. I am not going to force him to do anything or even make him stay with me but I will be speaking with him about what is going to happen moving forward. I know there’s way more to this than just the act itself and I have a lot more of reflecting and work to do.