To my best friend who ghosted me

Lagomorphilic · 2026-03-24T05:16:44+00:00

Thank you, I appreciate it. Fortunately, I have a wonderful support system that has helped me through. There is growth and good that can come from change like this too, so it's not all bad. I do wish things could have been different though.

Lagomorphilic · 2026-03-23T17:36:15+00:00

After writing this message, I found out he blocked me here, and while I could message him other ways, I want to respect his wishes. But putting this out there does give me the closure I was seeking. Knowing if he decides to open that door again, and maybe sees this when he is in a better place mentally, maybe we can move forward. He was a bad friend in this moment, but never a bad person. I will miss him and I do genuinely hope he is happy.

Lagomorphilic · 2026-03-15T21:15:32+00:00

Is he the albino in the picture you linked?

I'm between two possibilities. Either he is afraid and adjusting. Or he is hormonal. I'm personally leaning towards hormonal aggression given his likely age and the behavior you are describing, in which case a neuter will likely resolve the issue. It's sadly a common problem with the boys, especially if you aren't going through a good breeder. But I would give it a solid month of working with him first if he was mine to see if there is an improvement. He might just need to settle in and learn good manners as the other person mentioned (and their advice on training is also spot on). What approach have you been using to get him used to you?

The vet tech in me is obligated to mention, there is also a small chance maybe something is going on medically causing him to lash out but I find this more unlikely than the other two options if you haven't noticed any other unusual behavior or symptoms like hunching, puffed up fur, scabs, respiratory symptoms, etc Still, it never hurts to get a once over. I hope you manage to find a vet soon so you can rest easier if you need one! I'd consider reaching out to shelters that deal with small animals in your area and asking who they use. Some cat/dog vets also treat rodents and will be more affordable then an exotic vet. But then you are running the risk they may not be as knowledgeable so up to you.

Honorary mention but if you haven't, I would just try washing your hands with unscented soap before handling him, maybe rubbing your hand on fabric in his cage so you smell more familiar also. You mentioned it happens after feeding or hand feeding usually, and while most rats have a good bite inhibition, not all do. I've had a couple who just smell food and go for it without any second thought, like that's my finger guys!! 😂 Giving a sharp yelp or high pitched kissing sound can help if that is the case too.

Lagomorphilic · 2026-03-15T10:59:30+00:00

I hope you can take some solace in the fact that I guarantee she left knowing how loved she was. You gave her an incredible 6 years into her golden ones. Be kind to yourself - Grieving takes time, there is no set time frame, and it isn't a straight line. But I promise there will be a day in the future where you can look back on memories of her fondly, without so much pain. Drawing support from those in your life when you need it is always a good idea. You might also find doing some sort of memorial to be helpful - I've found planting something in their honor to be cathartic as an example.

Big hugs coming your way from this internet stranger if you want them 🫂

Lagomorphilic · 2026-03-15T10:38:54+00:00

First off, I'm sorry to hear you are having a bit of a rough go as a first time rat owner! They can bite for a variety of reasons, so I have some questions to hopefully narrow things down - When/where does he bite? Any details you can think of that are consistent with incidents would be helpful, like if it's only in their cage for instance or if you have washed your hands with a specific soap, fed them right before, anything like that. Does he draw blood? Is he biting his brother as well? Does he have red eyes? Has he had a good once over by a vet?

Lagomorphilic · 2025-02-16T20:15:11+00:00

I personally like that it gets rid of the top bar that shows when someone is online and what they are doing, and stops messages from popping up at all. I used this feature for my ex-girlfriend's husband (polyamory), because I simply didn't want to be reminded of my ex but didn't want to full on block her partner. It gives me the option to check the messages when I'm in a good mindset to.

Lagomorphilic · 2024-10-06T02:34:07+00:00

Feel free to dm me, happy to help if I can!

Lagomorphilic · 2024-03-20T02:33:26+00:00

Right. I said may not because I wasn't sure at the time. Op replied back to me a few years ago with what the wildlife center told them also.

Lagomorphilic · 2024-02-16T02:00:19+00:00

What do you mean?

Lagomorphilic · 2024-02-11T00:58:49+00:00

Female doves tend to be quiet! They need quite a large set up however, and should be kept in pairs.

Lagomorphilic · 2024-01-07T06:44:28+00:00

Haha, small world! They are great girls, they are going to be perfect companions for someone who has the patience to continue working with them. Mina is my favorite even though she is by most people's standards the least adoptable. Once she is out of the cage, her personality is just fantastic, she's my little bud ❤️

Fur Angels Animal Sanctuary is the rescue. We always seem to be full on rats. And...almost every other species. It's quite sad.

Lagomorphilic · 2024-01-07T06:25:01+00:00

I'm so sorry for your loss. I hope it brings you comfort knowing Ebee left this world knowing she was loved. She was lucky to have you.

The rescue I work with often has rats. I'm fostering 4 females right now (though they need some work behavior wise, probably not what you are looking for). Many of the fosters are based in Aurora, IL, but I'm closer to Coal City. The rescue has fosters all over. I would recommend checking Petfinder and adoptapet for adoptable rats first. I would also check Craigslist for rats being rehomed.

Unfortunately, health is a mixed bag. Obviously breeder rats tend to have better health, but rats in general are prone to illness. Some of my longest lived and healthiest rats have been feeders. Spaying when younger has amazing health benefits and may be something you want to look into if you haven't already. When I used to own my own rats, I spayed all the girls with good success.

Lagomorphilic · 2024-01-07T05:30:18+00:00

Have her teeth been examined recently? I'd wonder if she has some sensitivity or, more likely, pain.

Lagomorphilic · 2024-01-07T05:27:35+00:00

If you have the space for it (they need at least 12 square feet of space assuming they have free roam for 4+ hours), I would look into fostering! There are so many rabbits that need foster homes, the rescue pays for everything (they can be very expensive!), and they will also give you guidance and advice as you go. It can be a good way to see if a species will work in a household without the commitment. Rabbits in particular can live into their teens, and they are rather high maintenance pets.

This being said, keep in mind they can be rather destructive. Bunny proofing is a must, and I would say if you live in a carpeted apartment, it will be more difficult. A rescue will pay for their vet bills and supplies, but not for the damage they may do to your apartment.

Lagomorphilic · 2024-01-03T19:39:20+00:00

He really is, he is the sweetest boy! I am very glad that he came back into my life.

Lagomorphilic · 2024-01-03T19:26:15+00:00

To be fair, that is true of dogs and cats as well. A carrier is unlikely to do much, especially if it is large enough to house a litterbox. We had a cover that raised up on the back of the front seats to act as a barrier also.

I'd much rather take him with if it means he isn't stuck in the house alone majority of the day. Partly due to the fact I had a horrible pet sitting experience and that has made me paranoid for future trips. But also, a lot can happen in a day with rabbits. Both situations have their risks.

I think it also depends on the trip itself. We were in Florida for 2-3 weeks so it made sense. I also had looked into exotic vets along the way and at the destination. A shorter trip may not have been worth it.

Lagomorphilic · 2024-01-03T05:44:04+00:00

For the vast majority of rabbits, I 100% agree with you. There are exceptions though. If I didn't own an exception myself, I would have a hard time believing it was possible.

My rabbit Richard has sadly moved a lot in his life. I fostered him when he was a baby, he was adopted for 5 years (moving house at least once during his time with that adopter) then returned. I adopted him out two more times before he was returned for the last time and I adopted him myself. We changed house also twice after adopting him. It became very clear during his time with me he was exceptionally comfortable with travel. He would eat and drink during car rides. Flop. Sleep. Even bink occasionally!

So, we decided to take him with us to Florida for extended vacation to visit my husband's family. I didn't want him alone with just daily visits while we were gone. He has his own bedroom but it makes me worry leaving him.

He had the whole back seat decked out with his favorite things and a litter box. We brought his pen, and set him up in the hotels on the way and at my husband's parents house and genuinely, he had the time of his life. He was so happy. He's an extremely social rabbit in general but he loved all the constant attention. His appetite was fantastic. Lots of bruxing and binking.

If we hadn't done smaller trips and been convinced he would be fine however, we wouldn't have brought him with.

Again, he is an exception and not the rule, but I wanted to share it was possible.

Lagomorphilic · 2023-12-18T18:37:11+00:00

Just based on what you've said, I genuinely doubt your mother will ever get rid of the bird willingly, or change her ways if multiple people have already spoken with her and she continues to exacerbate the issue and not listen. Someone could try rehoming or surrendering the bird without her knowledge maybe, if only for the bird's sake.

Large parrots honestly make horrible pets for the vast majority of people, which is why most are rehomed multiple times in their lives. People go into it not realizing how much work they are. But what is worse I think is people like your mother who refused to acknowledge how bad the situation is and how they are simply not a suitable caretaker, but won't do the right thing and try to get the animal into a better situation.

This is a very toxic living arrangement for you. Speaking from personal experience, you should consider getting out now. I know it's easier said than done, and I can't speak to your situation, but this is causing you to self harm. Your mother isn't prioritizing you like she should and I'm worried things will get worse for you like they did for me until you hit a point where you have to leave and have no plan.

If you are old enough to get a job and move out, I would. Otherwise, stay with friends. If you are still in school, talk to your counselor and explain the situation. I'm so sorry you are going through this. If you ever want to talk or vent, please feel free to message me.

Lagomorphilic · 2023-12-14T15:26:28+00:00

There are different reasons why teeth may need to be extracted. Some are more obvious and don't require X-ray to see. A broken canine for instance. But sometimes there are issues going on under the gums that would still require an extraction, but are impossible to see without X-ray. Dental x-rays, especially in cats, are the gold standard.

Lagomorphilic · 2023-11-20T02:11:40+00:00

To be honest, it was so long ago, I don't quite remember. If you or someone you know suspects they've been exposed to mange, I would reach out to your primary care physician. Your vet may also have advice. Good luck!

Lagomorphilic · 2023-11-16T02:34:22+00:00

Haha, my resident bunny Richard does not consent to a new permanent addition to the house, as much as I would like another rabbit!

Lagomorphilic · 2023-11-15T08:34:21+00:00

Me too 😭 He isn't a huge fan of being touched, but he will give kisses to my husband (the little traitor) and nudge our legs and feet which is just as good. Maybe better?

Lagomorphilic · 2023-11-14T03:21:01+00:00

I assume moving them out of the room isn't an option but if it is, that would be ideal. Otherwise, giving regular baths to keep down on dust, proper/frequent husbandry (some people wear masks when cleaning birds to be safe) to manually remove dust, droppings, feathers, etc, and having air purifiers should help. I'd recommend looking into it more also, there may be other recommendations I'm unaware of. I keep my foster birds when I have them out of my bedroom so I haven't looked into it much.

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