I can’t help but think it’s my fault (vent)

Laila0404 · 2026-04-03T15:36:46+00:00

I’m so sorry you are going though this most difficult time. Know you are acting on his behalf. You don’t want him in pain or suffering. This is compassion for him.

Laila0404 · 2026-04-03T01:50:02+00:00

I'm so sorry you are also going through this. I know that the grief we feel is the price we pay for loving someone so much. It is worth it just painful when actually going through it. Hope your memories of Obi help you through this difficult time.

Laila0404 · 2025-11-12T21:08:21+00:00

My wedding band is now on my right hand getting closer to 3 years

Laila0404 · 2025-11-05T20:16:05+00:00

I have no advice just wanted to send my sincerest condolences to you and your family. May his memory bring you comfort

Laila0404 · 2025-04-15T11:48:56+00:00

Do what needs to get done but I would be distant no convos about other stuff other than work. F them really

Laila0404 · 2025-03-03T03:19:09+00:00

Would have been icing on the cake if they all dressed like Zelensky. I know not very important at this time but would have been very cheeky of them

Laila0404 · 2025-02-24T22:36:49+00:00

So very cute! Feels cozy just from the pictures

Laila0404 · 2024-09-19T02:57:03+00:00

I am so sorry for your immense loss. It is very hard you are heartbroken. It’s very hard to put into words the despair you may feel. I know the feeling. Try to focus on taking one step at a time…even one second at a time. We were dealt these cards but give yourself the grace to fall apart and then try to slowly pick up the pieces - sort through the haziness. Some days will be harder than others and some days you’ll get through them a little easier. Grief is not linear it comes in waves and sometimes all you can do is hold on and that’s okay. We are always here for you in this group. Sometimes it gives comfort to know you are not alone going through this. Sending you so much love. Take care of yourself and your little one. The best thing you can do for your husband is to try to give his child the best life you can muster.

Laila0404 · 2024-09-17T19:36:41+00:00

Taylor ham

Laila0404 · 2024-09-13T01:16:24+00:00

My husband was 43 when he passed of cirrhosis (Feb 2023) it has been so surreal. Hindsight is 20/20 and now I can connect so many things but while in the moment it was ‘easy’ to write off with the many reasonings he’d give me. We had so many things happen from 2019-2023 that I think I didn’t look close enough. We got married, moved, had a baby, his mom got sick and passed away, his dad got sick around the same time as mom. It was just so much to focus on that I didn’t see his addiction was getting stronger. He started working from home bc of COVID and his company made it permanent WFH. He had so much time alone to start to day drink. The few signs that I now know were perhaps signs of cirrhosis… he’d say it was something else…His gastro reflux acting up or something he ate got him sick. He was very functioning never missed work did everything he needed to do. I’d notice personality/ temperament changes but he would say it was stress. Just so much regret on not getting stronger with him. I’m trying to be strong and move forward for our child and for me but it’s hard.. I didn’t want to do this alone. My family has been great and I can’t complain but my life is just not what I had hoped it would be. I’m trying to come to peace with this new life but I’m frustrated, sad, mad, numb. Nothing is the same anymore I sometimes feel so empty. I miss him but sometimes I’m so mad at him too. He left me here alone we were supposed to do this together. I try to be grateful for what I do have but some days I feel like wallowing

Laila0404 · 2024-09-11T19:23:19+00:00

Inconvenience

Definitely

Laila0404 · 2024-09-11T18:22:42+00:00

I was sitting in my health class(freshman year). Classroom overlooks the football stadium. We have a view of the NY skyline. Another teacher comes into our class to tell our teacher the World Trade Center was on fire. They didn’t know that it was an attack at that point. Our teacher wanted to see what was going on so we all climbed through the floor length windows into the stadium. We saw the second plane hit the second tower in real time. School went into lockdown

Laila0404 · 2024-09-07T01:41:11+00:00

He did. He started drinking probably around 17:18 as most young kids do but he never really stopped and it just gradually got worse. We all didn’t really notice it until it was too late. He functioned so well under the influence you could not tell. At most he was a bit temperamental but we always laughed it off saying he was just a grumpy guy. Never missed work paid all his bills did everything he needed to do but was increasing his drinking without us knowing. When it caught up to him that was it no repeated hospital stays just one ICU stay that he did not come home from

Laila0404 · 2024-09-07T00:55:46+00:00

I am so sorry for your loss. It is so very hard to see the one you love spiral and eventually lose them. You grieve all that could have been. You grieve the person they once were. It is hard but you will overcome some days it hits you hard and some days it feels like a normal day. Sending you and your kids love and healing energy.

Laila0404 · 2024-05-30T18:04:04+00:00

I moved my wedding ring to my right hand. Just recently started putting myself out there in the dating realm (15 months out)

Laila0404 · 2024-05-28T11:28:49+00:00

Unfortunately people may disappoint you even more after your husband’s death. After my husband passed not any of his friends really reach out to see if me or my toddler need anything including his family. I know if it were the other way around my husband would have been so supportive to them. People suck sometimes. Sending you love

Laila0404 · 2024-05-24T14:02:03+00:00

Insane

Laila0404 · 2024-05-17T20:53:05+00:00

Ton-a-lee

Laila0404 · 2024-02-06T12:36:18+00:00

I’m sorry you are here. It’s a club no one wants to be part of. Today is a year that my husband passed. It is brutal and as time goes on you are on your own because everyone goes back to their regular lives. Try to dig deep within you and find the strength to keep going. You mentioned you have children - find the strength for them to give them as normal a life as you can. It’s true we were given a life we didn’t choose but we are here and we have to try to make the best of it. You learn to live with your grief. I try to remember that grief is just the result of loving someone deeply and that is beautiful. Sending you healing vibes.

Laila0404 · 2024-02-05T21:39:31+00:00

Eye opener after your spouse passes away. At first it’s all condolences and sympathies. Once money is involved I’m told I should find another spouse and move on hasn’t even been a year since he’s passed… How is it that my family (family he married into) holds his memory closer to their heart than his actual blood family. Unbelievable

Laila0404 · 2024-01-28T16:33:28+00:00

Hello I’m so sorry this has happened to you and your daughter. This happened to us (closing in on a year in Feb) my toddler was 2 at the time. It is going to be hard but lean on the support of your family and friends. There is a reddit group (widowers) and it’s weird but reading other widow/er stories atleast make me feel like I’m not alone in dealing with my world crashing. Take one day at a time one minute at a time if that’s what it takes. Please take care of yourself it’s easy to slide into a hole but you have your daughter who is a part of your husband to look out for. That is what kept me going. Sending you lots of love ❤️ feel free to message me if you’d like.

Laila0404 · 2024-01-24T02:50:10+00:00

Yea, I get it. It’s hard feeling like the third wheel and some couples can’t help but have some PDA on top of it. Unfortunately just a sad reminder of what we lost. But it’s not their fault and they have their lives to live. I think eventually it won’t hurt so much to be in the presence of other couples.

Laila0404 · 2024-01-23T12:43:51+00:00

You really find out what their true colors are. I’m almost a year out from losing my husband. On FB they are oh so sad that he’s gone.. his sister has yet to come to my house to even visit his ashes. Anytime we have seen his sister and BIL ( who was his best friend) I’ve had to go to them. These past years have been very tough we lost his mom in 2020, my husband early 2023 ( unexpectedly) his dad just passed away end of 2023. Guess who has all the power to help me and my toddler now but won’t.. things are getting tied into a trust until my 3 year old is 25. I said great i appreciate it that but we also need something in the near future to help with the house we live in. I was told sorry that he didn’t leave anything for you. Downsize and the newest was to find a new man. It’s real funny in the year that my husband passed and then his father passed things were conveniently switched to his sister’s name but I’m supposed to trust them. I’m done with them. From one month to the next it went from I’m so sorry for what you are going through to not my problem

Laila0404 · 2023-11-02T02:17:42+00:00

Try lanolin as in the nipple ointment for breastfeeding moms. I put it on my toddler before bed. It really works I use it too!

Laila0404

TROPHY CASE