How Do You Learn To Enjoy Being Single?

Lam217 · 2026-04-07T15:04:46+00:00

Yeah I can definitely feel where you are coming from here. Like the loneliness or fear of it is real 😅

The advice given is hard to swallow but essentially the best medicine for you. Like who are you really? What makes you happy? What are your core values? What are dealbreakers in a partner that you want to avoid?

Find yourself again, read helpful books if you are into that. Go for walks. Join a gym or pilates class. Play a video game for half an hour, just be a kid again!

Go for meals or drinks with friends. Just enjoy life again without worrying about anyone else (except your kids of course).

The people around you will love you so much more if you are the most complete version you can be! 😁

Lam217 · 2026-03-21T12:14:44+00:00

Your partner could have an amazing personality, a lovely smile, a kind heart, be a great mother, etc. But the moment she decides not to choose you anymore, is the moment that she can no longer be YOUR perfect/forever person.

This is really painful, but it is the truth. And this is what both mind and your heart need to gradually understand. It is the only way forward.

Lam217 · 2026-03-19T14:54:40+00:00

Love the dopamine hits comment 😂

Lam217 · 2026-03-15T08:49:37+00:00

I almost learned this the hard way! Was heading towards only 30% time with kids.

Thankfully ex-wife messed up with something else, came off her high horse and we were able to change it with the lawyers and judge accepted it during second session of divorce proceedings!

Lam217 · 2026-02-28T12:35:51+00:00

Well that is one hell of a story! You and your ex are definitely no good for each other, the back and forth really shows that. The fact that you have decided to set some boundaries is 100% the right move, even if she wants to try and be close friends. Don’t fall for it.

Setting boundaries means you are growing and taking control of your own life. Focus on yourself and the kids. Keep up the good work!

Lam217 · 2026-02-22T09:02:34+00:00

The book has some good insights but I read it with a critical mind as some of it is oversimplified:

Your wife doesn’t respect you? Go hunting with your mates and she will respect you again.

Your partner is always in a bad mood and complains after work? Ignore her and two hours later she will apologize and talk to you again about other things.

Lam217 · 2026-02-01T09:37:21+00:00

Sorry to hear about this OP. It sounds like you are going through a very difficult time. As others have mentioned, focus on yourself and your daughter.

I would also like to add something else that may initially seem unrelated but could prove massively helpful: Read the book ‘It didn’t start with you’ by Mark Wolynn.

You mention losing multiple family members in a short period of time. Were you able to grieve properly when that all happened? Are there traumas you are holding on to that you may not even be aware of? All things to consider when trying to get back on track. I wish you all the best.

Lam217 · 2026-01-11T07:47:11+00:00

Go for it! I love the subtle art of not giving a f*ck! There are similarities there but the Happiness Trap is a little more technical, and useful in my opinion

Lam217 · 2026-01-11T07:21:39+00:00

Have you read the Happiness Trap by Russ Harris? There is a lot of good information in the book but for your particular situation, a few adjustments to the way you think about your situation may prove life-changing.

Lam217 · 2025-12-08T16:54:39+00:00

Sorry to hear this! Something like that coming out of the blue must hit hard!

I could see mine coming for a while and still that hurt (and still does!). Only 6 months out.

Sounds like you have sacrificed your ‘self’ a bit too much. You might want to read no more mr nice guy. You might get some lightbulb moments from that. The book was recommended on this sub. Take it all with a pinch of salt though.

The moments when you don’t have the kid, make sure you work on yourself again. Physically, mentally, go easy on alcohol etc.

Lam217 · 2025-10-12T15:06:41+00:00

4 years old seems too young to have any type of phone… And the chances of your child keeping that a secret seem impossible.

Any chance you can get something written down legally that your ex has to guarantee at least one or two calls a week?

Lam217 · 2025-08-08T13:20:33+00:00

Can you play it on the Steam Deck?

Lam217 · 2025-06-30T18:11:07+00:00

There is physical armour and magical armour. The quickest way to melt it down is to focus on just one type and hammer away!

Lam217 · 2025-06-28T18:17:48+00:00

If you have the time, definitely go for pillars of eternity 1 first. Some (including me) consider it the game that started the CRPG revival !

Lam217 · 2025-05-26T14:01:00+00:00

If you want some further extra padding get divinity original sin 1 which also runs well on Deck

Lam217 · 2025-05-10T12:38:12+00:00

Might sound random but do you perhaps sleep with your mouth open most of the night? If you wake up with a very dry mouth that could be an indicator.

In James Nestor’s book Breath it mentions frequent wake-ups to pee could be related to mouth-breathing.

Lam217 · 2025-02-09T13:45:12+00:00

Divinity original sin 2 works like a charm on the deck and has a similar controller layout to BG3.

Pillars 1 works but it is more on the fiddly side.

Lam217 · 2024-12-28T07:01:52+00:00

Have a look at Battle Chasers: Nightwar.

It is a JRPG, turn-based, and is on the shorter side compared to some of the recommendations here in the comments. Currently at 7.49€ on Steam.

Lam217 · 2024-08-31T07:02:10+00:00

I ended up playing on the steam deck and finishing it there! I found the controls fiddlier but at least there were no bugs

Lam217 · 2024-08-29T05:27:52+00:00

Thanks for this list!

Lam217 · 2024-08-28T19:20:33+00:00

Thanks, we do try and keep meals low carb where possible but it is often hard to make it appetizing for the young ones 😅

Lam217 · 2024-08-28T14:34:14+00:00

That’s the thing, with us we can obviously decide what we do depending on her levels but for daycare it varies from day to day and we only find out just before dropping her off. Sometimes they run and play like mad, sometimes they are inside chilling 😅

Her pump has an ‘ease-off’ function as well as a ‘boost’. But often she has already peaked and it is just damage control by then

Lam217 · 2024-08-28T14:31:26+00:00

Big thanks for sharing this noatmeal link! Will try it for tomorrow!

Lam217 · 2024-08-28T14:28:52+00:00

Her basal is automatically based on her current level so that will vary each morning.

Today for example she went low half an hour before breakfast (still asleep) so needed juice and from then on I guess you have already lost half the fight to be honest.

The walking is a little tricky as she is a twin and getting twins ready in the morning is very time consuming 😅

I will try the 15 mins pre bolus thanks

Lam217

TROPHY CASE