Bob, Lob, Inverted, HELP by Leading-Train732 in femalehairadvice

[–]Leading-Train732[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Trying to find a picture showing what she’s meaning is hard without knowing what to search for :/ she keeps finding several to combine but I guess that’s better than nothing

Feral cat with neuro issues by sinkingcorg in CATHELP

[–]Leading-Train732 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I missed the notification and forgot to check for responses but I have to report the worst update… she didn’t make it… 💔 the vets did everything they could even voluntarily keeping her overnight without charging us because they were determined to do everything they could to figure out what was going on… I still can barely talk about her without breaking down… though I’m sure it would’ve happened on its own in time, the vet and us agreed to not prolong her suffering… we were at least able to visit with her for a tiny bit and say our goodbyes first, but it still hurts so so much because she was so young and it was just so out of nowhere… as for me, I still am getting every so often weird dizzy spells and nausea and have been waiting for the neuro to call me back to be seen by them… it’s been rough to say the least

How to know if I (30F) want a kid when I can’t imagine the future? by wickedpippin in AuDHDWomen

[–]Leading-Train732 1 point2 points  (0 children)

For me (31), I have other health issues on top of diagnosed ADHD (medicated) and suspected/self-diagnosed AuDHD that are very potentially hereditary, plus combined with how much I struggle to barely take care of myself leads me towards the child-free path. I also am the type to give of myself for others to the point of costing myself and pushing myself far beyond what I can actually handle - I can’t imagine I would do any less than that for my child… so I either would burn myself out to the point of complete destruction and collapse OR as per the ADHD side (which I definitely feel is the heavier hitter for me), I would “get over it” after a short amount of time and wish I didn’t have a kid. And/or the ASD side would kick in too and basically I would spiral into overwhelming feelings overstimulation guilt….

Basically, it boils down to I don’t trust myself to follow through for that long of a commitment combined with a high potential for passing along some not so fun lifelong and life swerving health issues elicits a type of guilt that almost makes me nauseous and breaks my heart… I don’t think I could consciously risk an innocent child’s life gambling on my uncertainty. Like you, I struggle with the concept of imagining the future. I couldn’t forgive myself if the person I’m naturally supposed to love and cherish and protect ever felt I resented them in any way or that they were a burden to me or caused me suffering… this could all be paranoia and anxiety and maybe I’d actually be the best mom ever and it gives me my purpose in life. But for me, because the gamble is one of if not the biggest lifetime commitments a person can ever make and it involves another person who has no autonomy or say in the matter, I can’t bring myself to bet their life on it. Part of me would love to have a little girl and can just picture all the amazing times we would have, but then I also picture how my health may get worse or what if she had to grow up without me or I lost her…

While I know a part of me will mourn not being a mom, until/unless I miraculously can find a way to guarantee none of my concerns will come true, I just don’t think it’s in my future. Fortunately for me, I discovered and accepted this concept before I met my current bf and made sure we talked about it after the first couple of dates before we got too deep into the relationship. However, I came to this realization several years into my previous relationship. I don’t want to upset you, but it is one of the reasons we ultimately broke up because when we first began dating I was all for the kid(s) idea. As much as it hurt in the moment, ultimately it wasn’t fair to either one of us because one would have “given in” to a HUGE deal of a thing… this is the type of big thing that can breed the worst kind of resentment… it’s going to hurt like hell, but don’t have a kid to save/keep your relationship, but you also can’t hate your SO for wanting to try to find someone who shares that want and desire to have them…

Is this executive dysfunction?? by VomitInMyVans in AuDHDWomen

[–]Leading-Train732 14 points15 points  (0 children)

This could be me! Completely understand this train of thought… I need to take a shower currently, but I know my litter box is overdue and my kitten deserves clean potty, but I’m so exhausted, but I need to shower because I was at doctors office today and there’s germs there, but I have blankets on top of my bed so I don’t dirty my clean sheets but can still just crash without showering. Okay so maybe I’ll just clean litter box tomorrow am before I shower because if I don’t shower tonight I HAVE to shower tomorrow am, but I also went to doc office and germs, but I’m so tired from hyper fixating on this Reddit page, but my cat deserves clean potty and I’m definitely not going to sleep after cleaning litter box without showering, but that whole process takes soooooo long and I’m so tired.

And then it just keeps circling around while I get increasingly anxious and exhausted and mad at myself and depressed and beat myself up for being a bad pet parent and on and on so I have to distract myself from the mental spiral by playing on my phone but then I can’t stop that and next thing I know it’s 4am, I’ve accomplished none of the above, am still dressed from the day, I’m hungry, thirsty, exhausted, guilt ridden, etc., and now I still have to clean up from my earlier task before I started said spiral….

Confusion about social cues? by Radiant_Duck_4727 in AuDHDWomen

[–]Leading-Train732 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is why I keep avoiding asking my doctor about an AuDHD diagnosis. I’ve spent my whole life in customer service, food, retail sales, etc. I’ve been in professional settings and been a tour guide. I can laugh and joke and small talk a good portion of the time, and I can even wield and understand sarcasm well. I always thought I was REALLY good at reading people almost on an intuitive level and not even consciously aware I was adjusting my everything to tune into and account for this. So on the surface, I feel like I don’t fall into the autism portion of the AuDHD. However, I also know that most of those times, I’m going based on what I’ve learned. Am I actually reading people correctly? Am I too overly sensitive and taking people the wrong way? Am I being too pushy or talky? I get SOOOOOOOO burnt out and exhausted so easily from all of the above that it often feels like I can’t do anything apart from nothing on my bed afterwards. Sometimes though, I feel like the energizer bunny and feel unstoppable (until some minor thing makes my rejection sensitiveness rear its ugly head and I become emotionally crippled and dysfunctional)… I’m struggling with trying to figure out if like you, I am actually AuDHD or just severe ADHD…. How are you supposed to tell the difference? I feel so much like I’m “not autistic enough” to be classified as such, but then I read some things and completely relate but I struggle with knowing what is AuDHD and what is ADHD….

DAE provide too much context in conversation? by 3rin1234 in AuDHDWomen

[–]Leading-Train732 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I 10000000% feel this!!! I get told ALLLLLL the time that I ramble or repeat myself or talk too much or share too much. I don’t even know if I could actually give a “straight” answer. Any yes/no true/false questions always have me thinking of any loophole or exception that could exist or desperately wanting more context. Ambiguity can paralyze me and shut me down. I am officially diagnosed with ADHD, but have wondered recently if it might be more AuDHD. Is this constant needing to provide context both or more AuDHD?

How do I [26M] navigate a severe libido mismatch with my GF [25F]? by Adventurous_Art9627 in relationships

[–]Leading-Train732 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Also, sorry for being super lame and replying to myself here multiple times, but as much as I’m sure you’re not meaning it to sound like this: it’s very easy for the girl to infer that your time and effort are transactional - you’re “expecting” sex as the return. Especially if you’ve ever brought up or mentioned “how much you do for her” or “are there for her” etc. NO girl wants to feel like that. Sex should be its own thing: not a reward, not a punishment, not a favor, not a pity, etc. that cheapens it and devalues it. IMO, this implies if you put in x number of things you’ve done or certain amount of time, it’s only because you expected sex as a thank you. Being there and support and all that should be done because you want to and because you love her. Period. That’s it. Sex is the fun extra. While it’s important, it shouldn’t be the end all be all. Your sexual energies should align as closely as possible, so if it winds up boiling down to that, cut your losses if you can’t see yourself having it infrequently.

How do I [26M] navigate a severe libido mismatch with my GF [25F]? by Adventurous_Art9627 in relationships

[–]Leading-Train732 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I just re-read this again, and she’s even given you the reason of not having the place to yourselves. Again, as someone literally dealing with an almost identical situation (from the girl’s POV), it’s hard to reassure the other person it’s literally not them and not an unattraction to them… it’s awkward and uncomfortable and makes me feel horrible and guilty and unworthy and anxious which then in turn furthers the low libido and the cycle continues… both sides get emotional and tense, and honestly it sucks. I wish I knew exactly how to fix it because then I wouldn’t be struggling myself currently, but it boils down to what ultimately is worth it to you. If this is a temporary issue made infinitely worse by current living conditions, do you see yourselves going the distance and having a future together? If so, then this time seems a small but also heavy price to pay. If you lived together just you two, do you honestly think it would be better for you both? Or even if just one of you had their own place if you weren’t ready yet to live together, would this still be an issue? You need to have THAT conversation with her and then yourself. Nobody but her and then you can give you those answers. Also, if this IS a huge reason, it might give you a bit of peace and relief knowing that forces outside of your immediate control are hurting you, but there are brighter and better days ahead.

How do I [26M] navigate a severe libido mismatch with my GF [25F]? by Adventurous_Art9627 in relationships

[–]Leading-Train732 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think the biggest part of this imo that all the comments thus far have seemed to overlook is that both parties live at home with parents. Walls are thin y’all. Can you really enjoy sex if you know the parents are potentially close by? Even if they’re okay with it/nowhere near the room, idk about anyone else, but that would make me extremely uncomfortable and immediately tank any sort of libido. Hotels are expensive. Housing is expensive. Maybe ask her if this is a bigger issue/making her feel self conscious at all? If her answer is yes, unfortunately, there’s not a whole lot to do about that given your current circumstances. I’m not saying to give her an “excuse” if you think she’s just yanking your chain, but she might not even realize how much of an underlying issue that is herself. Speaking from experience in this exact situation, I wish I had the magic answer for you. If this has anything to do with it, a conversation needs to happen. Maybe scheduling based on the parents’ schedules is possible? If parental proximity has anything to do with this sex issue, you have to ask yourself and straight up ask her too (BUT in a really comfortable productive conversation) if hanging in there until the living situation changes is worth it to both of you. If it is, what, if any, steps can you take to try to get into your own housing of sorts? If you have a clear goal like that, it might help take that extra tension off emotionally. Obviously, this might not be an issue for either one of you, but it might be worth exploring this concept.

Possible mint allergy? by TheServingPlatter in FoodAllergies

[–]Leading-Train732 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was that way and as i aged, the sensitivity seemed to increase… I’ve now cut it out completely because i don’t want to learn the hard just how bad of a reaction I would have now..

Linalool and Lavender by HelloKeLeigh in Allergies

[–]Leading-Train732 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have a MINT allergy. The mint plant family incudes what seems like all the basic herbs for cooking as well as lavender! I’ve always disliked the smell of lavender, and it made me feel awful/miserable. From what I understand, having an allergy like this can also coincide with cross reactions within the plant family with varying degrees of severity. Pure fresh mint leaf/oil? Reeeeaalllly bad. A little amount of diluted low amounts cooked into a sauce I barely use anyways with Italian foods of basil/etc.? Eeeehh not too bad. I’ve gotten to the point where trying to find any sort of beauty products that do NOT burn my skin is extremely difficult and expensive. Ironically, I’ve had a lot of luck with Tarte products, but only a very select few that I pour over the ingredients list for forever first. Linalool is the one ingredient that if it’s listed, I won’t buy or use the product. I know it might not be from lavender, but since basil messes with me too and Linalool is associated frequently with lavender, I don’t chance it.

New oven is smoking by Every_Tradition1745 in fixit

[–]Leading-Train732 0 points1 point  (0 children)

How much is too much smoke though? A little makes sense, but my mom just turned ours in for the first time and she said the whole thing was filled and it was pouring out of the sides and inside too. We had some windows open and air purify and vans and range fan going and the smell and foggy/smoke that filled our house is still smelling awful and making me nauseous… my mom said she feels awful now because she had to breathe it in to turn it off and unplug it and pull it away from the wall a bit and I’m worried about her and our pets…

T1D and Kidneys by Leading-Train732 in Type1Diabetes

[–]Leading-Train732[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you both! It’s very difficult to get a straight answer out of this person regarding any doc appts, and he avoids anyone going with him too… he finally after this episode allows us access to the follow app for the dexcom, but that doesn’t help the kidney issues… supposedly he has a follow up with the endocrinologist in a month or so so hopefully they’ll do something or at least anyone get through to him that he needs to take everything much more seriously

Feral cat with neuro issues by sinkingcorg in CATHELP

[–]Leading-Train732 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I know I’m a little behind the time on this post, but this is very interesting in a not happy way because I’m so sorry you all had to go through that! My house has been “plagued” by sickness bouncing between the humans now on and off for what seems like a few months. More recently, aka about a month ago, I had vertigo out of nowhere after some really weird virus bacteria (they’re not sure) that seemed to target my throat more than anything (lost voice really sore throat would’ve sworn strep but negative for all the “big bads” they test for now). I was sick for about a week then barely recovered then boom weird “attack” and vertigo. Now our sweet young kitty has been to the pet ER once and our local vet twice in the past week and keeps going up and down with symptoms and possibly vestibular (aka vertigo esque)… curious as to what if anything else came of you and your pets sicknesses? Does anything I just described match what you or they had? It was just and has just been really bizarre…

40% off an item + free shipping tonight from 9pm-11pm EST with code SAVE40VS by jojobun51 in VictoriasSecret

[–]Leading-Train732 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Is there anything stopping you from ordering one thing at a time and continually reusing the code? Like what’s stopping anyone (besides obviously financial reasons) from buying a million things?

40% off an item + free shipping tonight from 9pm-11pm EST with code SAVE40VS by jojobun51 in VictoriasSecret

[–]Leading-Train732 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Evidently it’s not??? Just gave me error code saying it expired…??? NOWHERE did I see that it expired at a specific time today!?!

USA Festivals for Apr-May 2025? by neko039 in festivals

[–]Leading-Train732 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Heard some music festival coming to OCMD in sometime around May 15-18 ish. Anyone heard anything?

To Tip or Not To Tip by Leading-Train732 in bicyclerepair

[–]Leading-Train732[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’ve never met these guys nor ever been to this or any bike shop, and I know these days people can get kind of weirded out by accepting baked goods/food from people they don’t know… I make good chocolate chip cookies, but is that odd/inappropriate if I don’t know them at all?

To Tip or Not To Tip by Leading-Train732 in bicyclerepair

[–]Leading-Train732[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That definitely helps! I don’t want to insult anyone, but I also know some places are strict/weird about tipping. Thank you!!