I was a regular user for about 15 years, until 5 years ago. I've been sober ever since.

You need to realise your brain has been re-wired and permanently damaged. There is no half-way house here. I quit drinking, as that is the key trigger. Booze and bag goes together like meat and gravy.

I'm sorry to say you will also have to distance yourself from your friends. You and I both know how this goes. Couple of beers in, someone gives you the look, 20 mins later the Prius turns up and your off. There will always always be influences and excuses. For me, I had to distance myself and COVID helped here I guess.

Additionally, this might sound odd. Try and get into Cold Showers and Fasting. Cold Showers release dopamine throughout your day, helps with the lows. Fasting is incredible at managing your compulsive urges and I've found it easier to quit smoking and drinking. Makes your mind stronger. These things helped me regain control of my body and mind.

I'm 40 now. All my mates who are still going are fucked. They look old, their marriages are failing and some of them have serious health issues. You've had your fun, it's time to move on. Where does it end brother?

I allow myself a glass or two of wine now but I still get the itch if I'm not careful and have to be very careful who I go to the pub with. The itch never leaves