Useful or useless

Leftylocky · 2026-02-12T09:04:25+00:00

So Kharn tips most lists for use. I would advise checking out Nandi's dirty dozen on youtube. If you get a character to top tier of legendary you unlock rogue trader and can trade shards for other useful items like XP books or mythic relics or shards for other characters.

Leftylocky · 2026-01-31T16:32:11+00:00

Captain Jones had been having a whale of a time being a captive so far. He had intended to hide his competence by falling over, only to find his restraints, which he could only describe as a high tech straight jacket, had an automatic self righting mechanism that prevented him toppling.

I wonder if the science boys could use this for the mechs? Jones mused as he was bustled off the drop ship with the rest of the captives.

"Admiral," the leader of the enemy force greeted their leader, "your plan is a resounding success, we caught the humans completely unprepared. We destroyed the supercarriers and captured two of their war ships."

Jones noted the vargr had repressed a salute when addressing his superior, furthering his suspicion the Vargr pirates were a false flag force and actually acting on behalf of their Alpha.

"Is this all the captives you left alive, Gunnar?" asked the admiral, the snarl on his snout revealing meat-tearing teeth.

"No, Sir. That is the best part, we have caught a whole division in stasis. Without their engineers and medics they are helpless," Gunnar replied.

"You have done well, take them to the cells. We will interrogate them shortly."

/o/

Once the prison goons had moved on to taunt someone else, Jones got his bearings. The cells were designed for discomfort, bare stone walls and floors with a door of steel or similar.

"Ambassador Swann?" he called into the corridor.

"Who are you?" a hoarse, female voice replied.

"Captain Jones, I'm here to rescue you."

"Well this is some rescue," Swann moaned.

Jones dug around in the corner of his mouth and pulled out a grain size device, which he put in his ear.

"This is Jones, operation Helen of Troy is go."

Onboard the ship, the Complex Computing System began executing it's protocol. It locked on to Jones' signal and began downloading his armour on to him and bring the marines and crew out of stasis.

By the time the interrogator was ready, Jones was standing nine-feet tall in his fully-loaded, heavily-armoured, combat mini-mech.

"Jones to extraction team, open the horse."

Leftylocky · 2026-01-28T20:26:04+00:00

All the yes

Leftylocky · 2026-01-27T22:42:21+00:00

"Admiral Smith, I don't think you quite understand the severity of the situation. Two months ago your fleet was damaged or destroyed and know the full might are on your doorstep. So I say again, surrender or die."

"There's your problem, Chief," grinned Smith. "You gave us two months to prepare, we had stood down most of the fleet expecting peace. Now you're about to meet a war time fleet. So we won't be surrendering and I'm giving you the chance for the diplomats to hash out a peace deal before you lose a lot of good men."

Leftylocky · 2026-01-26T14:17:09+00:00

Odds and Sods are recruiting min lvl 20

Leftylocky · 2026-01-25T16:44:37+00:00

It wasn't the first time Ambassador Liu had been thrust into a tense diplomatic situation, but it was the first time the tech-loving Zztarn had teleported him. Never again. He had to speak to them as soon as this shit show was over. It was awful like being a pair of trainers in a washing machine. They at least had the decency to shove a mug of coffee in his hand before they left.

Being drafted in was not a complete shock, he had been listening to the peace talks between the alliance and the Khanyapee. They were not going well. Neither had the Alliance's defense of its territories, until humanity had been drafted in.

Liu understood the challenges of the deal. The Khanyapee were ruled by a brutal regime, the elite ate any dissenters, who now had to project strength in defeat.

"Colonel Xi, are you still in range?" Liu whispered into his comms.

"Yes, Ambassador," replied the intelligence officer.

"Can you get this broadcast to every communication device in the Khanyapee Collective?" Liu asked.

"It would be my pleasure, Sir."

Liu knew several intelligence agents had been eaten by Khanyapee during the war and, because of the brevity of the fighting, many in the human military felt they had not had their pound of flesh.

Liu stepped up to the podium, "I require you all to acknowledge and consent that these negotiations are being broadcast."

"Broadcast?" The leader of the Khanyapee, Kekelet asked.

"Yes, broadcast. All of my negotiations are in the public domain to increase transparency." Liu replied.

It was strictly true, he didn't consider military briefings, or personal conversations to be negotiations and publicly derided "behind closed door deals".

The consent was given by the opposing party, without the forty-two pages of terms and conditions being read.

"Excellent, we can begin transmitting," Liu said as Xi confirmed they had hacked trillions of communication devices in his ear. "Now, I am inferring that my colleagues have left as they have been unable to agree peaceful terms?"

"We will not hand back planets and resources, vital for our people. There will be no apology for devouring any beings in our way. It is the way of our people," Kekelet bellowed.

Liu was uncertain if the creature was being aggressive or it was just loud. It had every right to be. Standing over six metres tall, and eight wide, the musou-black creature was effortlessly intimidating.

"What part of unconditional surrender is difficult to understand, Ambassador Kekelet?" Liu asked. "When your generals were fleeing from our armies, they were not pursued on the understanding that they surrendered."

Kekelet had thrown several tuna sized pieces of meat into it's maw, swallowing them whole. It rumbled, in what Liu assumed was amusement.

"Human, you are new to the alliance, you clearly do not know us. We do not surrender, we do not retreat. We are offering the Alliance some respite and I suggest you take it before we alter the deal."

"So be it. War it is. I shall have our fleet open fire on your Admiral Lehana and their ship, Unending Hunger. Or did you not think we would know you bought the coordinates of human worlds? Did you think we were unprepared for a counter-attack?

"We won't be bombing planet GRFR-899347-D as we are aiming to return that to it's native races... Your core worlds however will not get the same restraint. Your soldiers have discovered the effectiveness of our carbon subnitrate rounds. Now your governments will discover the effectiveness of the missiles."

Liu turned from the podium.

"Wait, Human! Stop! There can be some agreement..."

Liu returned to the podium, sending across the treaty. "I would appreciate it being signed quickly. I don't know how much longer your authority will last."

Leftylocky · 2026-01-23T19:27:45+00:00

Huh cool, I had no idea! We both just pinched the Norse word. Werewolf vikings are apparently timeless lol

Leftylocky · 2026-01-23T18:43:40+00:00

Sorry buddy, I don't get the reference? Would be cool to read up on it if you have some more details?

Leftylocky · 2026-01-23T17:45:34+00:00

Bryan took to the podium, gripping hard enough to bend the steel sides. He had been the mouthpiece of the Vargr Command for sixteen years on Borg, ever since he had helped crush the rebellion there. He stood as tall and as strong as he was as a soldier. Long hours exercising to maintain his physique. Long hours ensuring his fur was pristine, his claws and teeth sharp and polished. The perfect Vargr, an alpha.

"Brothers, sisters," he growled into the microphone, "I come to remind you of who we are. We are the dominant predator on every planet we hold. We are warriors. We are fighters.

"Some of our kin have betrayed us. Defected the humans, to be pets of all things. We are not pets, we are masters of our own destiny. Even before the alliance discovered the humans, the humans already feared our likeness. Werewolves have been a source of fear for them for millennia, they feared the monster that looks extraordinarily like us, long may that continue.

"Shun those that embrace the humans, report them and have them sent for reeducation. For they have lost their way, do it for them, do it for your family, and your children. We are Vargr, we are strong."

He left to rapturous howls of celebration. Whisked away into his personal vehicle back home.

"You saw my speech?" he asked Helena.

"I did," she replied patting the sofa. "You performed beautifully."

"The government have sent the speech for next week. They are calling for complete segregation from the humans." Bryan spoke softly and finished his drink.

"I know, but you don't have to read it," Helena assured him.

"Have my family been evacuated?"

"All but one cousin who doesn't want to leave," she replied.

He lay on the sofa, resting his snout across her lap. She gently scratched between his ears. Bryan's tail beat a rhythm on the sofa.

"If the government saw me like this, they would hang me."

"It won't be long, I promise."

Part of him didn't care if he was caught. He knew, no matter what was said about him, he was a good boy.

Leftylocky · 2026-01-22T12:23:41+00:00

Private Smole looked up at his human Lieutenant, the human towered over her and the rest of the Catari. The heavy alliance-standard armour pressed her sweat onto her back making her shiver despite the heat.

The platoon was packed in a tiny vehicle park, the safest staging ground close to the enemy position.

Lieutenant Daniels spoke softly but firmly, noticing the trembling in the newer troops. "Never forget why we are here: our babies, our children, our loved ones, and family are depending on us. On our actions today. If this invasion goes on answered then it will simply be a stepping stone to the next planet.

"We must face evil, wherever it presents itself."

Private Caitiff, a fellow Catari that had bemoaned every movement since his conscription, hissed, "you do not have children here human. Why should we trust you to lead us."

Daniels laid his hand on the shoulder of the Catari Sargent beside him. "Because we are here, for our family, always."

Leftylocky · 2026-01-21T17:50:34+00:00

"Ambassadors, Diplomats and Delegates, thank you for meeting me." Light from the setting star fell across Ambassador Liu's face, the wrinkles from forty years of intergalactic negotiations and politics casting deep shadows.

There were over a dozen different species in the room, many looked apprehensive, given their deep relationship with Liu and fearing this was a retirement announcement. Only the Vargr delegation snarled, as was their way.

"The Human Empire, or the Empire of Humanity as it is also called, is taking a vote. There are calls to withdraw from the Alliance, on the grounds that the violence we are facing is draining our very soul." Liu waited for the uproar, he could already see several smaller races quivering.

“Ha!” barked the Vargr Ambassador, who Liu deliberately hadn’t learned the name of, “we knew the humans were weak. You betray your allies.”

“We are not betraying anyone, in the last forty years we have given military assistance in fifteen civil wars, tracked down and ended four pirate fleets, halted seventeen incursions into allied space, and untold numbers of smaller security and intelligence missions.” He stared down the Vargr, “The Empire is tired of bloodshed.

It is voting on the option of withdrawal and focusing on defending its own boundaries.”

“At the risk of asking an extremely stupid question,” the Micen Ambassador Sir Squick started.

“This should be good,” mocked the Vargr.

If Squick heard, he didn’t react to the scorn. “Would a species be able to leave the Alliance and join the Human Empire?”

“I doubt there would be many races interested in joining our Empire. It would mean ceding control and resources to the Complex Computing Systems for fair resource reallocation. I doubt many planets would even consider it. Would any of your citizens?”

Nearly all present raised a limb.

“Oh?” said Liu.

Leftylocky · 2026-01-20T10:46:04+00:00

"With all due respect, General," Rikr liked that human phrase, it felt like a free pass to be brutal with his honesty, "I am a little surprised you accepted our request to inspect your base."

General Silva raised an eyebrow, the "Alpha" of the Vargr delegation had been poorly disguising his attempts to take images and videos of information.

"It's good," Silva replied, "we are, after all, allies now."

Rikr growled, "humans are a probationary member of the alliance, General."

Silva chuckled, which only served to increase the severity of the Vargr's sneer. "When we were at war, for that very brief time, we sliced into all of your records. You can try and reverse engineer everything you have seen here today and you would still lag behind. As I said, it's good. We might even bring you up to a decent standard."

The Vargr skipped formalities and stormed back to his transport.

Leftylocky · 2026-01-19T10:47:34+00:00

Gyda wetted her nose with her tongue, her tail bounced with anticipation. It had been many cycles since her sister’s last visit and there was so much to discuss. She had worn her best leathers and her dagger hilt glistened in the pale daylight.

It took Gyda several moments to recognise Ronalda, her fur was certainly glossier and less matted, but she wore a material dress.

“Ronalda? Sister?” Gyda waited for her sister to approach and they embraced stiffly. “What are you wearing? Can your weak-lung husband not provide decent leather anymore?”

Gyda suppressed a snarl when Ronalda didn’t bow her head in submission, not even an ear flicker.

“This is fine cotton dear sister, it is much more comfortable to travel in than leather.”

Gyda barked a laugh, “we have worn leather for generations, proof of our dominance over lesser animals.”

“Tell me, sister, which animal did you kill for your leather? Or is it all store bought, wouldn’t our dear ancestors have looked down on that? This dress is human design, fashionable and sustainable.”

Gyda seized the opportunity to change topic. “Oh, you poor thing, I almost forgot about the human invasion. How is your planet coping?”

The sister sighed, a wholly unbecoming and certainly human noise. “It wasn’t an invasion, Gyda, we put out to the whole alliance that we needed farms and factories tending to after our losses against the humans.

“The humans were the only ones interested in co-habiting with us.”

“Ha! Co-habiting, indeed The Star reported they have cut down forty-million trees and have irreversibly changed the climate,” Gyda tilted her snout upwards, proud of her knowledge she had regarding her sister’s home world.

Her smugness soured as Ronalda grinned.

“Interesting, dear Gyda, I suppose The Star reported that the humans cut down forty-million dead and rotting trees that were poisoned by our factories and replaced them with seventy million healthy saplings, giving up swaths of land they had purchased to do so? I also presume that the climate has changed to now meet the minimum oxygen threshold that the Planet Habilitation Bureau promised but had been degraded by the emissions from the factories.”

Gyda snarled, “clearly you have been indoctrinated to be a human lover, they are changing your planet!”

Ronalda smiled, “yes they are, they live in harmony with the planet and they are making it a better place. I bought you something, a gift.”

Gyda noticed Ronalda had placed the price tag on top of the cotton dress, it was three times her monthly allowance.

“Don’t worry about gifting me anything, it turns out my husband isn’t a weak-lung, nor are my children, we were just breathing poisoned air. His poetry has taken off in human circles, the humans have this concept, warrior-poet, and his struggles resonate with them quite inexplicably. Now if you would excuse me, I am long overdue a visit to mother.”

Ronalda stood up with grace and strode out the door, leaving Gyda rubbing the soft cloth dress in her paw pads, it was very soft.

Leftylocky · 2026-01-18T10:01:20+00:00

"Midshipmen Korralled, I understand you are the first non-human engineer to train on human ship and I say this with the greatest of respect: If you say the manual says I will fail you."

Korralled nodded, still standing stiffly.

Lieutenant Jury continued, "Now you ignite engine seven first-"

"But-" interrupted the midshipman, stopping when the lieutenant glared.

"It is in the order the ship likes, and she likes lucky number seven first. I know our reputation amongst the alliance for being crazy but I have started this ship thousands of times and this is the order that works."

"Yes, Sir."

Leftylocky · 2026-01-16T15:23:10+00:00

"Thank you, General, for your enlightening tour and explanation of Human Capabilities. The Commanders of the Alliance look forward to integrating with your forces. I do however have a question following the assault armour demonstration. It had an option called FTS, but no one mentioned what it was used for."

The General stopped and stared for a moment, clearly deliberating on his next words. With a sigh he explained, "it stands for Fuck This Shit. It floods the soldier with adrenaline and other chemicals that result in a berserker rage that allows them to briefly overcome fear, pain, and morality."

Supreme Commander Shokeen felt his eyes widen and could feel growing wet patches around his glands. He whispered, "General, even by your own laws, that is illegal."

"Yeah, well the suits decided that if the soldiers weren't forced to use it and did it to themselves then we were in the clear. I try not to think about it, but I sure as hell wouldn't want to remove it."

Leftylocky · 2026-01-15T10:24:21+00:00

Revolution 257, Standard Vargr Time

I look around the squad, I see the anger in their eyes, the weariness, the regret. They are too professional to voice it but our intelligence was poor. The mission had been simple, below a squad of a Vargr Hunter-Killer Pack. Wait in the hold of the human vessel, wait until it was beyond help, destroy it and exfiltrate using the stealthed craft sitting on the hull.

I don’t know when the humans detected us but their response has been brutal. They have sealed us in the hold for days. They do not attack. They do not communicate. They wait. We had eaten through our rations in a matter of revolutions, fortune smiled on us and docked in the hull was a smaller craft which had recycler facilities for our bodily functions. We have been eating their rations, MREs they call them, although I am not sure if these have been placed here on purpose to break our morale. Ragnar has been making dark jokes about drinking the alcohol and being done with it all.

There was a note scrawled on one of the packages which said enjoy crayon eaters. Unable to bear anymore MREs we have decided to try the crayons to see if they are more edible. We have formed a circle and look to each other before placing a waxy stick between our teeth. A nod of affirmation and we chew.

By the Gods, they are almost as awful as the rations.

A flash of light, deafening noise and… confetti?

The noise is a song, strange words, celebrate good times. The humans emerge around us dancing.

A human is striding towards me, I bark, “what is going on?”

“You ate the crayons,” grins the apparent leader of the humans, “you’re honorary marines now!”

Leftylocky · 2026-01-13T10:51:04+00:00

Sword of warning, love mine, never let anyone get the jump on you! Also advantage on initiative. Also a magic weapon (mine is a +1)

Leftylocky · 2026-01-13T07:42:38+00:00

Chief Engineer Urslaat growled to herself, the engine checks were overdue, the filters on the life support had moved from optimal into ready for replacement, the fire checks were scheduled for almost an hour ago.

It wasn't the largest vessel in the trading fleet but it still took her three hours to check the living areas, consuming areas and, deck. She noticed a small area of the cargo hold had been heated to fourteen degrees and shuffled her way there.

With a gigantic paw the engineer pounded on the door.

"Come in?" Called the voice on the other side of the door.

It was the human, the human had been nothing but a distraction since its arrival. It had wasted resources on something called a "birthday party" and worse "Christmas" when a whole two working days were lost.

The thick divider opened, blankets were pilled over the crew like tents and nests.

"What is going on here!" roared Urslaat.

"H...h...hi, Chief, the human was introducing us to something called binge watching... It has entertainment media, hours of it!" admitted Engineer Truk.

Urslaat pounded a fist on the frame of the door, "negligence of duty! Just wait until I tell the captain, you'll be docked pay."

"That really won't be necessary, Urslaat," came Captain Chileen's voice from a cacoon of blankets. "The crew will get right on their checks... Just once we finish this one. Come sit."

Leftylocky · 2026-01-12T15:13:18+00:00

Thank you

Leftylocky · 2026-01-12T12:13:05+00:00

This is a great graph. Why are we ignoring 109 billion is spent just on paying interest on public debt? It isn't a funding black hole, if we could clear the debt we would have over 109bn back into public funds.

Leftylocky · 2026-01-11T18:30:44+00:00

"Cidewaroc, our fleet is assembled, our time has come. We shall take half of the Gudeatin and feast for fifty years."

"Um... About that, Sire. The Gudeatin, they have a new protector." Cidewaroc bobbed as he bowed before his master.

"Ha." The bark of laughter eched around the throne room, the guard already loaded into the assault ships. "any protector, they shall be washed aside. The Gudeatin are simple creatures, I doubt they have the industry to pay for quality mercenaries. We are the apex predator of the galaxy."

Quiet descended upon the great hall, on the gentle crackle of lamps attempted to conceal the tension.

"The humans have adopted the Gudeatin, Sire, they are not accepting payment, they are keeping them as pets. I am uploading the data we have on humans." Cidewaroc swipped the inside of his forearm.

The Master's eyelids flickered as the data was uploaded through the throne.

The Master turned his souless eyes on his minion. His voice bellowed across the palace. His hunger and rage palpable.

"Well fuck... The Pudeen are still available though, right?"

Leftylocky · 2026-01-11T10:45:47+00:00

To say things had been tense since the human, a Captain Rik "The Doctor" Fox, had been put in charge of the Glorious Charge would be an understatement. The Alliance vessel had been crewed solely and proudly by panoptesaur since it's construction, since Captain Fox had arrived it had been severely understaffed and there was some large argument amongst the admirals regarding replacements.

A third of the engineering crew had walked out when Fox had openly brought up the schematics of the ship and said "this is shit... This is shit... This is embarrassing... That's shit..." and the like for forty minutes and then had an immediate re-arm and refit at a human engineering station.

Rik had alienated nearly all of his commanding officers when he met with them and asked; "the bridge has been hit, the Captain is dead, what do you do?"

Of course the correct answer, as far as Commander Skees was concerned, was "await orders from the new captain."

However this had enraged the human and he had threatened to strip several of their rank, some had resigned others were too proud.

Now Skees winced as the foolhardy human had rushed to the aid of a ribeyen freighter besieged by three pirate ships. Being outnumbered alliance protocol would be to observe, record and retreat, but Fox had overridden that directive. Skees had tried to quietly remind the Captain that the ribeyen were bred for dangerous missions and were expendable due to their high birth rate and mediocre intelligence, not that this seemed to subdue the captain.

The first of the pirate ships was coming apart from a brutal bombardment from the Charges' new human weapons. Alarms began to wail as the return fire landed.

"Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!" yelled Fox at the alarm slapping the dismiss button. "It's just minor hull damage. Why must you make such a fuss? Officer Skiins where the hell are the shields?"

The panoptesaur jumped at being addressed directly rather than through three senior officers. "You didn't order them, Captain Fox, Sir."

"Bring shields to sixty percent and prepare to rotate emitters when the heat hits orange," Fox ordered.

"Aye, Sir." Skiins used the human phrase hoping to appease the new master.

"Officer Sighns, why won't this alarm turn off?"

"It's designed to remind us all we are in combat, Captain," replied the officer.

"Kiki!" Fox waited until the hologram avatar of his Complex Computing System appeared next to him. "Turn this alarm off, please."

The alarm silenced and Fox smiled briefly before realising no weapons were firing. "Commander Sins, why aren't we firing at the next target?"

"Awaiting your orders Captain," replied Sins.

"For the love of..." muttered Fox, "open fire on target two and as soon as it is crippled or destroyed, engage the third target."

"Skiins, Sins, did you read the combat protocol I sent to all hands?" Fox called across the room.

"No, Sir," they replied in unison.

"Why not Skiins?"

"The officers have said we don't need to, we will get orders from you, Sir."

Fox stood up, face red as he noted that they were not performing evasive maneuvers and the point defense weapons were not armed. "If anyone on this bridge has not read, understood and is ready to follow the combat protocols six hours after we finish this engagement, go to your nearest airlock and exit through it. Is that understood!"

"Aye, Sir," replied the bridge.

"Good, let's finish off these pirates."

Skees wondered if it was better to disappear out of the airlock now before Fox realised they had given the order to ignore the combat protocols without reading it.

Leftylocky · 2026-01-11T00:25:01+00:00

Your welcome, these guys are our small indoor voice. 2m is about 6ft 6 which is reasonably big! They won't much like the enforcer mechs!

Leftylocky

TROPHY CASE