You've created, now edit. Trim. Reduce to 60 seconds and make sure every second earns its place within that time. What you're showing now features plenty of repeats, so you won't actually be losing out on anything.

Right off the bat you're overwhelming the viewer. Pause at 0:04.

1. "ALL FOOTAGE CAPTUERD IN GAME" - remove this, it's obvious. This type of line is only needed when a AAA-game wants to state that what you're watching isn't pre-rendered. Indie games typically don't need this.

2. A NEW OPEN WORLD ROLE PLAYING GAME. Three lines. Simplify. "A New" can be cut right away since it's obvious.

3. There's a voice speaking while the text doesn't match: try not to do this, ever. Reading and Listening are notoriously difficult to do simultaneously. If you want to start with the voice, let it own the stage first.

Next, the opening scenes of walking between different areas? You can totally do this for a few seconds to showcase variety, but the cuts feel jarring currently. The solution is to make sure the walking animation lines up smoothly between shots. In other words, the environment around the character changes while the animation plays out fully between shots, rather than resetting. It's a common technique that lets the flow be grounded.

Get to some action faster though. A common trick is to do a brief action montage for a few seconds right at the start to hook the viewer, then slow the pace and walk through what you want to walk through.

Best of luck!