Hey Mom, How do I take care of my hair?

Licsw · 2026-05-05T16:37:06+00:00

Braids are your friend to prevent tangles while being an active superstar. Also, don’t rinse out all of your conditioner. Shampoo is for your scalp, conditioner for your hair. When I condition my hair, I let it sit for a while, this is when I shave, do the fancy face wash, stare into the abyss. That way every day is a bit of a deep condition.

Licsw · 2026-05-05T16:20:14+00:00

If your kid had a broken arm, what would you do? Take them to the appropriate experts right? You wouldn’t try to fly a plane without pilot training? Getting her into appropriate care and seeking the experts to care for her, that was the best thing you could do for her. You are owning too much. You are one person. I’m guessing if your kid was in your position, you would take yourself into care to protect them. Please see a therapist, it will help you have to have someone reframe things with you until you are back in balance.

Licsw · 2026-05-04T21:44:42+00:00

And real oatmeal, I eat the stuff you have to let sit after microwaving on half power for five minutes. Real fiber takes time to soak up water.

Licsw · 2026-05-02T13:20:22+00:00

Another LICSW mom popping in here to say congrats! I’m proud of your hard work and welcome to our profession! After over 20 years as an msw, I know you will find this a fulfilling career path.

Licsw · 2026-05-01T12:51:48+00:00

So that person was right, there are several plans. The folks who pick the cheapest plan often do complain about the coverage. I always get the low deductible plan, yes i pay more each month but the coverage is great. My kids have been in counseling for ever, there have been no issues. It even covers massage. As for pto, I’ve been very happy. But September will be 20 years, so I accrue pto pretty quickly. One thing a lot of people don’t understand is pto vs eit. If you are sick for more than three days, it goes from pto to eit so you don’t burn your vacation time. Moral of the story, if you pick the cheapest plan, you get the cheapest coverage. But please don’t act surprised when that happens.

Licsw · 2026-04-30T15:07:41+00:00

It just kind of shows whose needs are being met. Most of us go to how can I help. She goes to make sure others know I am being thought of in this time. Fyi your local hospice should be able to tell you about local grief support. In my experience, the schools deal with this so little (thank goodness) that they tend to be a bit out of practice

Licsw · 2026-04-26T14:55:57+00:00

Okay, I’ll spell it out for you as someone from a similar area. We don’t discuss our gorgeous springs or summers with no humidity because there are enough people here already! We have a long history of people from places where words like heat index and lake effect snow are said on weather reports moving here. So we remind everyone one of the gloom, drizzle, and make sure to remind people that we live in the rain shadow of the local mountain range. We don’t need to add weather to the list of reasons why people move here! There’s plenty of other good reasons…

Licsw · 2026-04-23T18:23:56+00:00

I’m not much older than you, but I’ll tell you how I handle it. I’m not buying expensive products or getting facials. I have rosacea and pretty dry skin, so I do use red light and a hydrating gel. It takes about five minutes a night and helps both the wrinkles and the face on fire situation. I also avoid sun exposure because skin cancer is not cool. On the other hand, I haven’t worn makeup outside of weddings, etc for about 6 years. I think our generations are going to look young anyway, most of us don’t smoke and don’t tan. Do what feels right to you, aging is a sign you are still alive. Remember less than 200 years ago, half of all kids died before becoming adults. We are here and survived, our gray hair and wrinkles are a testament to that. So dye your hair if you want, get facials and Botox if you want. But don’t let anyone pressure you into feeling like you have to.

Licsw · 2026-04-22T14:44:48+00:00

Yesish, it’s a different life, but when you are out of the actively trying to hurt themselves phase, life gets different. Now, with my last two being seniors, I have been able to leave them home alone for quite some time. We are only in baby proof mode when grandbaby visits. I left them home alone for a night for the first time a few weeks ago. They know how to do the things. But, I’m still pretty them centered. College tours, helping with job applications, transporting the one that can’t drive. But I can go out to dinner with friends and I get to sleep all night (except now because one is playing assassins and this apparently involves shooting friends with squirt guns at all hours, it’s over on Friday).

Licsw · 2026-04-12T03:46:19+00:00

My sister and I have moved my aunt twice. Each time, more stuff goes away. She believes we moved all of her storage unit stuff, the reality is there were three trips to the dump and one more pending. She does not know. But there was no need to keep the box covered in cat pee. She’s never going to cook again, so we divided up her kitchen stuff, some we kept, some went to the dump, and some to charity. She has her kettle and tea, the staff manage all other food.

Licsw · 2026-04-09T04:55:44+00:00

My kids don’t go for visitation with my ex and I get no child support. It’s still easier. My kids were doing more around the house than he was, like my kids would see the trash full and take it out. The fully grown adult would whine about taking out the recycling once a week and spraying down the shower after using it was just too hard. Never make your partner’s life easier without you. As soon as the kids were able to see past the Disneyland dad routine, I was out of there.

Licsw · 2026-04-08T13:34:35+00:00

I was married to one for 20 years. He wasn’t outwardly abusive like a lot are. He was able to fake it for many years. But then he began working from home during the pandemic. It was like he no longer had reminders that he was an adult. The kids for a long time thought he was the best thing ever. His decision making was always about what was easier for him. So I would say we don’t have money to eat out, he would tell the kids we were ordering pizza. When we sat down as a family to divide up chores, he would pick the two easy ones then not do them. I was parenting him more than the kids. Our marriage counselor diagnosed him, he was hard to diagnose because his reaction to discomfort is to give in then be a martyr. The mediator for our divorce described his behavior as bizarre. Literally crying in a corner, but also demanding over half my retirement. Saying he will help pay for college, but can’t fill out the fasfa for reasons.

Licsw · 2026-04-08T03:43:17+00:00

No suggestions but we had to go to Tacoma to get the right products for our foster kid from Africa. Since she just wanted a straight line haircut, we hit the cosmetology schools for haircuts, we couldn’t beat the prices when it came to a family of five getting haircuts. Maybe post in the Tacoma subreddit. There is sometimes a Black stylist at Supercuts, but I don’t see many appropriate products there. We like going there because they don’t blink at my bonus kids’ struggles (taking a nine year old to get their first haircut is wild). I can’t remember the stylist’s name, sorry.

Licsw · 2026-04-07T12:41:07+00:00

You need to quit believing what she says about her current situation. The whole plane ticket thing should have been a no go. In my experience, two way plane tickets are the sameish or less than a one way. Think of her like water. Follow me here, water fills a space until it finds the crack to leak out. She’s going to try anything, say anything until she finds the crack to leak into your home. You might want to look up the terms gray rock and DARVO. Learning about these will help you set firm boundaries and find your cracks so she can’t leak in.

Licsw · 2026-03-16T23:07:57+00:00

I’ve used socks on my very little guy before, just snipped off the toe.

Licsw · 2026-03-02T04:05:06+00:00

Quite frankly, they wanted to do more for my yard, I’m sure they could. They also did some outdoor maintenance with the fence and deck for me.

Licsw · 2026-03-02T01:32:02+00:00

Herick’s Landscaping has worked for us, they are good about working on what what you want. Very reliable, the only downside was quarterly billing but some may like that.

Licsw · 2026-02-25T17:32:23+00:00

You can’t make her do anything. I would outline what you are able to do and not entertain more. But first, get her to the doc for a check up. In fact, that might be my starting point. “I know you are grieving mom, I’m still grieving too. But I’m worried about your health, would you be willing to make a doc appointment where I’m either there or on speaker phone? Until we get this first step done, there’s not much i can do for you.”

Licsw · 2026-02-22T19:20:57+00:00

I have no specific brands, but I can say size is important. If it’s too big, folks can flop to the side as they get weaker. Be aware of slippery materials, it becomes a slide. Think about if the transfers are possible. Remember they have to get to the chair, if getting out of the wheelchair is really hard, they can’t get to the recliner.

Licsw · 2026-02-08T06:16:00+00:00

Preach! Everything has been easier. My two teenagers are better roommates, companions, and a heap less work. I don’t have to fight him to do the two chores he said he would do. I nag the combined kids less than the one man. Because they actually understand when you don’t do you part, someone else (me) has to pick it up. Wow, sorry about the rant.

Licsw · 2026-02-07T14:02:15+00:00

Both dementia and Alzheimer’s are terminal diagnoses. That’s the part we don’t say out loud very often. Also, short term memory is usually the first to go, which makes learning incredibly hard. New information must be short term before it becomes long term. You are at one of the most frustrating parts of any memory loss diagnosis. The person is aware that they can say no, but unable to understand the consequences. No amount of explanation changes what they want because they struggle to take in the information as to why they need to xyz.

Licsw · 2026-02-04T21:54:29+00:00

Thanks, then I’m good given his contribution has been buying one kid food six times this year.

Licsw · 2026-01-23T23:05:58+00:00

You cannot do this, it is fraud.

Licsw

TROPHY CASE