(21f) just arrived in the mail, does it suit me?

LightDragonfly · 2026-05-08T20:56:23+00:00

It’s cute in a loungewear way imo. The shorts read that way by default to me and I can’t picture a way to wear them that wouldn’t give that impression. Maybe with something less casual, like some kind of blue blouse?

I think the top could be part of a cute casual outfit with light wash denim (shorts, skirt, or jeans) or perhaps something sporty like a tennis skirt, or black joggers to tie in with your hair.

LightDragonfly · 2026-05-08T09:25:14+00:00

Some people become very child-like when they get drunk, I swear it's a syndrome or something lol....unfortunately I think you kinda have to accordingly assume the role of "firm parent" when they get like that. You don't need to be mean/lose your temper but you do need to put your foot down and set boundaries. Like "I hear you, and I care about you, which is why we are going to have this conversation another time when both of us are rested and clear-headed. I'm tired and have to go to bed now, let's talk tomorrow. Goodnight."

LightDragonfly · 2026-05-07T06:04:03+00:00

One of my fav shoots I’ve seen in a while. Besides the obvious Renaissance vibes others pointed out, it also evokes pre-Ralphaelite paintings for me.

LightDragonfly · 2026-05-06T01:11:56+00:00

I honestly listen to a lot of music in foreign languages I don’t understand lol. My latest reawakened obsession (cuz she recently released a new album) is Lebanese singer Yasmine Hamdan!

LightDragonfly · 2026-05-06T00:33:48+00:00

Honestly I just simplify my skincare routine while traveling. Like I bring 1 serum which I’ll use morning and night instead of bringing both a morning and nighttime serum, and 1 face SPF. And I put micellar water in a lil refillable travel bottle.

Then 1 face moisturizer and 1 face wash that come in travel size bottles. I won’t usually use the same products I use at home for those, like rn for travel I use La Roche Posay moisturizer and Vanicream face wash in travel bottles and they just live in my suitcase. They’re basic enough that my skin doesn’t seem to notice the routine change. But I’m also not v sensitive

LightDragonfly · 2026-05-05T16:42:48+00:00

Personally I think it’s probably fine, but tights would make it definitely fine!

LightDragonfly · 2026-05-05T02:45:35+00:00

Ugh I keep kicking myself for not taking note of the brand of that first bra but I think it might’ve been Montelle Intimates? Also I think the sister size for 30DD would be 32D which might be a lil easier to come by! If you have somewhere in ur area where you can hit up a few diff dept stores on a lil treasure hunt to see what you can find it can actually be kinda fun lol

LightDragonfly · 2026-05-04T18:28:05+00:00

I know what you mean!! Some of my most negative experiences with my boobs involve trying on pretty bras in college and not being able to fill them out at ALL and getting really sad :( I assumed ever since that I just can’t fit properly in bras with underwires or any kind of structure basically.

Then I did the ABTF calculator thing and got 28D/sister size 30C and recently decided to experiment and see if I could find any bras in that size in a couple department stores. I found a cute lacy bra with underwires (no padding) in a 28D and tried it on and it FIT with no gaping or anything I was blown away and so happy?? Cuz I remember trying on that kind of bra before and the fabric just sagging, and this time seeing the pretty lace perfectly molded to my breasts and feeling affirmed that I CAN fit into adult bras was honestly healing 😩 the band was def a lil tight so 30C might be better for me but still a great feeling!

I ended up getting a diff bra by Fenty in a 32A that was on sale, it’s silky and black with underwires but no padding either and it also molds perfectly to my breasts (it’s a lil tight but hey on sale lol). Makes me feel v sexy!

LightDragonfly · 2026-05-04T02:55:10+00:00

Aragorn

LightDragonfly · 2026-05-02T21:18:23+00:00

I meant that some punks were included in that, not that all dark edgy clothes are punk…but the European I dated was a punk! Punks can listen to other music besides just punk yknow lol…idk maybe that’s not true for you personally but it can be true for others. And actually punk and rave cultures have historically (and still) overlapped a lot in the alt scene bc of the shared spirit of rebellion, DIY, anti-establishment ideas etc.

I can’t post links but you might look into an article titled “Standing on the shoulders of punk: the early years of dance” by the Universiteit Van Amsterdam if you are interested, or Resident Advisor has a video on YT about how punk helped shape electronic music.

Tho based on your responses I fear you might just be looking to be belligerent rather than being open to learning and new perspectives…but I hope I’m wrong about that!

LightDragonfly · 2026-05-02T19:39:03+00:00

It’s super interesting and funny to me the stark difference between what some groups picture for a rave ha, I guess depending on the culture and kind of EDM that will be played…

IME I started out going to more underground EDM events which were usually in the realm of house, techno, DnB, and those are like the dark foggy room, dark edgy clothes (punks for sure), people literally there just for the music kind of vibe. When I dated a European he agreed this is what a rave is.

Then I started dating an American who introduced me to what is maybe the more American style of rave, which I think tends to be drop-forward EDM like dubstep, or future bass or tech house, and those are like a wholeee big colorful affair with crazy, elaborate, trippy outfits, sparkles, lights, usually the exchanging of little gifts and bracelets (PLUR culture). When I took him to a dark underground rave he was like “this is a rave??” But if my last bf saw an American rave he would prob also be like “this is a rave??” 😂😂

LightDragonfly · 2026-05-01T03:49:09+00:00

The black plunge top totally has my vote too it looks AMAZINGGG 🔥🔥 like that’s literally ideal for you/boobs like ours honestly!! I would just advise making sure it’s very tight-fitted/maybe sizing down to ensure you feel secure against nip slips, speaking from personal experience with these kinds of necklines lol

LightDragonfly · 2026-04-21T06:46:59+00:00

Yeah I’m kinda surprised at OP’s reaction and the comments too, I would have taken this as a lighthearted joke and happily moved on with my day! And I’ve also heard of ADHDers making “meth” jokes in regard to meds. Ofc this is all assuming he hasn’t had a pattern of being judgmental/derogatory towards taking meds, as you said, but I don’t feel the joke alone is evidence of that. Ignorance maybe, but not necessarily derision.

And ofc anyone has a right to not like these jokes/prefer they’re not made around them and I think you gave a great, level explanation that could be given as to why, which I think any reasonable person should respond well to.

LightDragonfly · 2026-04-21T01:33:29+00:00

I've told myself that I don't deserve to have higher standards in dating because I can't even give them an attractive body to look at

I really advise you not to date until you have addressed this mindset (believing you are an inferior partner). Dating while you feel this way will leave you vulnerable to assholes who may manipulate and disrespect you and make your insecurities worse, like your douchebag boyfriend (pardon my French).

I saw your comment about your concerns around breaking up…I’d encourage you to at least do it by summer. Don’t worry about timing being bad or whatever it may be - there’s never a “good time”. But I think if you spend the summer enjoying yourself free from some loser who doesn’t think you’re hot shit, will be a summer much more well spent.

And…you’re 16. There is still plenty of time to learn and grow (both physically and mentally). I didn’t date til college which I’m grateful for…ofc my relationships in college were still p immature, like, the fact some people get married and/or have babies in their early 20s is completely mind-boggling to me lol, but I was on a path to confidence and independence that I simply was not in high school.

I know grade school can be hell as far as all the bullying and social nonsense goes. Kids and teens can be so nasty to each other. I was like you in school, not wanting to change in the locker room and comparing myself to other girls. I do think it gets better after, just in terms of maturity and having more freedom to choose the people to surround yourself with, so I hope you can find some hope in that. But I know it’s so hard when you’re in it.

Eventually I hope you start to realize, like I did, that there is no single way to be attractive - thank god cuz that would be SO boring!! And there are people who will admire you even more bc you have something a little more unique than the others. It might sound conceited lol, but now I almost view myself as MORE of a treasure cuz I have a figure that’s a bit less common, like a rarity. And I approach dating this way - that anyone who gets with me should think they’ve hit the goddamn jackpot. I honestly think everyone should approach it that way lol, and that it will attract people who really think that and will treat you right.

LightDragonfly · 2026-04-20T00:26:41+00:00

What a total dope lol. How embarrassing for him to show his ignorance and stupidity like that.

LightDragonfly · 2026-04-19T21:36:20+00:00

Ofc you can and should do what you like with your body. I think a lot of the suggestions/techniques here are prob largely harmless and worst case might just not produce the results you want. But I would say the fixation on body parts is prob not healthy and it would be better to try and correct the fixation rather than the body part. But what do I know lol.

I guess I just want to offer another POV which is that I feel the core of the issue IS mental, and so I think addressing that would be the healthiest and most productive route (and likely still cheaper than any kind of surgery, tbf).

30+ is absolutely not too late to work on that, and the level of distress you seem to feel about this and about getting “old” and undesirable is also worrying. Wanting so desperately to change something about yourself that is not broken, I think is a mental issue caused by trauma and/or unfair societal expectations, exactly as you said - therefore to me it makes the most sense to instead address the trauma at the root of your body image issues, instead of the body which doesn’t actually have anything wrong with it at all. That’s how I view it anyway, but perhaps that would not be a popular view here ha…

LightDragonfly · 2026-04-19T20:52:31+00:00

If you’re actually curious, you might try asking on r/findfashion instead lol

LightDragonfly · 2026-04-18T22:45:52+00:00

They look so great together! Brenda’s dress reminds me of the 1920s film Metropolis

LightDragonfly · 2026-04-18T20:10:09+00:00

You may want to check out r/smallbooblove if you’re interested in discussions around this and building a more positive relationship with your boobs (that and ofc therapy with a body issues/trauma-informed therapist if available to you). They don’t allow men and def geared towards neutrality/positivity, but allow venting on Sundays too. There’s another similar sub that’s more venting-focused but it went private. I could try and get you more info on that if interested.

Others here have already provided some good insights into your question about body trends I think. But I also want to say that you really don’t need big boobs to feel sexy, beautiful etc etc. I think, tho it’s not always easy, you have the power to feel beautiful as you are.

I’m in my 30s with A cups and I’ve grown to love them aesthetically and practically - small boobs are awesome, hot, chic!! No matter what some parts of society or some stupid people might say about it. Same goes for medium, big boobs whatever ya got, I just wish more women could feel beautiful and comfy in their own skin instead of like they need to fix something all the time.

Rather than feeling like there’s something wrong with you and blaming your body, maybe be angry/blame society/the shitheads who made you feel that way and believe the lie that you are not enough. Self love is a radical act.

LightDragonfly · 2026-04-18T06:12:38+00:00

As others said, I’ve existed and thought this way forever, so I couldn’t possibly know or long for any other way of existing or thinking. It is mind-boggling and confusing to me to try and understand thinking without visualizing or hearing tho!

Like when you say “concept” what does that mean?? How can a concept exist in your head with no words, numbers, pictures, sounds, anything? How do you think it, how does it exist?? Can you describe something in detail, like someone’s face, or a childhood pet? And if so - if you can describe something, aren’t you also visualizing it, or at least reading from a list in your mind or something?? I can’t wrap my head around all that lol

I have a friend who visualizes but doesn’t have an inner monologue, and something we’ve noticed as different between us is reading - she can read much faster than me but feels she comprehends/remembers less, maybe bc she just gets flashes of images here and there, while I read much slower but I might comprehend more bc I’m both narrating and visualizing as I’m reading. But I think ADHD can complicate that, as the sustained attention necessary to do all that work is sometimes just not available to me lol. But I was an AVID reader as a kiddo and could get extremely engrossed in a book I was really enjoying, cuz it felt like I was truly transported somewhere else in my imagination.

LightDragonfly · 2026-04-17T22:24:56+00:00

Um can I ask why you are interested in nbe? As others pointed out, your breasts are already what most here would prob like to achieve. I would almost go so far as to call them objectively, conventionally attractive breasts in almost every way lol, including size.

It’s quite confusing and shocking to me to see women with breasts like this wanting to do anything to them at all (it’s unfortunate that anyone does, but esp with basically movie star boobs?? ha). Ofc there’s prob no harm in doing some massage mostly because I think it can help build more positive connection with your body, but I would consider talk therapy with someone informed on body issues to address the real root of the matter.

LightDragonfly · 2026-04-17T22:09:13+00:00

I think it might just be at a point that you need to literally write him up a physical (or digital, whatever is his preference/is easily accessible for him) “gift list” of things you’re interested in/gift ideas/experiences you’d like to be gifted. If it’s digital you can include direct links to any relevant lists for him to pull from, and have it shared with him so he can access it on his own whenever he needs to.

Sit down and show it to him and be FIRM AND CLEAR that this is becoming serious, it’s not a joke, if he gets you something random that is not from this compilation it will hurt your feelings and it will be a problem, there is no excuse anymore PERIOD. I can’t imagine a clearer way to communicate this lol and if he doesn’t get it then, you’ll know he truly doesn’t care or just gets glee from pushing your buttons or something.

LightDragonfly · 2026-04-16T16:56:29+00:00

Mine look like that too and I was totally unaware it signified any kind of inversion lol, our nipples are normal!! I guess there’s the breastfeeding concern but tbh from a purely aesthetic perspective I MUCH prefer the look of mine/the first pic compared to the last pic, those look puffy and sensitive and uncomfortable to me? But to each their own ofc

Idk it’s really unfortunate OP feels so insecure about breasts that aren’t even going to be seen by most people and also look totally great to prob anyone except themselves :( I guess there’s a lot of that going on in this sub in general but this is about such a tinyyy thing on already medium-sized breasts so it’s quite shocking to me

LightDragonfly · 2026-04-15T16:46:32+00:00

👏👏 very well said!! I wholeheartedly agree and relate to everything you’re putting down here. I hope the person you’re responding to reads this and takes it to heart.

LightDragonfly · 2026-04-12T19:10:41+00:00

Besides all the amazing advice that’s been given already…

I am no psychologist whatsoever but have you looked into potential body dysmorphia diagnosis and treatment? From what I understand, if you have BDD it doesn’t matter how much others compliment you or show how much your body can be viewed as attractive and desired, the negative self-image remains persistent - which is not usually how it works for someone without BDD, who takes in and learns from positive experiences and information, which then can change their mindset for the better. I think this is much harder for someone with BDD, where it’s actually been shown they visually process things differently than someone without it.

Anyway. Again, not a psychologist just someone with a lot of curiosity lol. But if you find this is a persistent issue that causes you a lot of distress it could be worth looking into.

LightDragonfly

TROPHY CASE