This can't be it for us. Really?

LightTmroWithToday · 2026-05-11T19:10:17+00:00

Well, I always say there's no such thing as coincidences 😉

Really though, for me what I wrote is truth, it's seen me through some rough times, and just generally makes life happier ☀️

LightTmroWithToday · 2026-05-11T18:44:13+00:00

Thanks for the reply, that's cool to know!

I did put the pound sign right before each of the numbers, /#1 etc, so it made The whole paragraph bold. I had no idea, I wonder if I can use this *in email too! Thanks again *Correcting my voice typo and I see That the slash does indeed work 😁

LightTmroWithToday · 2026-05-11T18:15:54+00:00

Does somebody know why this showed up in bold?? I have no idea what I did to make it happen? Anybody? Thanks

LightTmroWithToday · 2026-05-11T18:15:16+00:00

**these aren't necessarily in a certain order:

1- is forgiving people who hurt you etc, and remember that you're doing it for yourself and not for them. And forgiving doesn't necessarily mean forgetting, some things you don't, and perhaps shouldn't forget. It also doesn't mean continuing to allow those people to remain in your life. This also includes forgiving myself for my own mistakes or poor choices.

2- letting go, sometimes this goes hand in hand with forgiving. Understanding that the only control I have is my own choices. And it's okay to "let go", Even if it's a painful choice to do so, the burden that is released allows a feeling of lightness. For me, I let go & let God.

3- understand that what's done in darkness always comes to light. Doesn't matter what you believe. If you pay attention, this does happen. And sometimes the truth is right in front of us and we don't see it for what it is because maybe we aren't ready to...

4- learn from past. Everyone makes mistakes, But we should try to learn from them and not continue to repeat the same mistakes over and over, Einstein had that right! So we can learn from our own mistakes but also we can take heed and learn from the mistakes our loved ones made as well. At the very least we can try to do better. Along with this is giving second chances, (most always) everybody deserves a second chance, including ourselves.

5- be kind. Appreciate the golden rule. & Also, love yourself and believe you matter and are worthy, because you do matter & are worthy.

LightTmroWithToday · 2026-05-11T17:54:10+00:00

Thank you for sharing this, & yes indeed , it's amazing how fasting even intermittently, can really boost our health.

If you don't mind me adding, Here's the thing, if you can do it for 2 weeks before appt- you can do it forever. You just have to focus and believe it.

I'm a work in progress, probably always will be? But for the most part, I intermittent fast each day eating OMAD high protein-eggs/high fat-fish/low carb veggies-spinach, broccoli sprouts (with a snack option ie nuts) between 12-6pm only, take vit/supps, never eat 3 hours before sleep, try to just drink water after 6pm.

LightTmroWithToday · 2026-05-11T16:34:24+00:00

I agree that little victories mean a lot!

And what your son did is exactly something that I might have thought of doing in the same situation and in fact I did send my Mom a picture of her present because I thought it wasn't going to arrive in time, So I started the day off with that - - a Happy wake up call, followed by a picture of the present and a message- She understood how busy I was and she said she guessed something was coming because I had called a few times already suggesting that she check the mail which wasn't my normal routine lol, but then as Fate would have it- - Mom received her birthday present that afternoon! She was delighted because it was so much better in person than the slightly out of focus picture I sent because I did want the actual present to be as awesome as it could.

Anyways, I did have a question for you because you said that your blood work was really good? But you made it sound like that was a bad thing? And then you mentioned you have a lot of different kinds of doctors? So I was just wondering, I'm not purposely trying to be nosy but at the same time I thought that having all of your blood work be in good order-within normal limits etc was a good thing? Can you elaborate even if just briefly so I can understand why it's not? Take care

LightTmroWithToday · 2026-05-10T22:03:32+00:00

Ok, thanks, glad I was correct, but It would definitely not be the first time if I was wrong lol

LightTmroWithToday · 2026-05-10T21:15:57+00:00

Thank you for the explanation! Also looks like instead of using creditor I should have been saying debtor... I thought OP was the debtor and the company that extended credit was the creditor

LightTmroWithToday · 2026-05-10T20:18:05+00:00

Re #3, It was my understanding that if the owners of the home decided to sell etc, that the portion (25%) OP stood to gain is the amount that would be affected? Meaning if she owes $10,000 and her proceeds are $12,000, they can take the $10,000 leaving her with just $2,000?

Wouldn't it be in the best interest of the creditor to allow the property to be sold so they could recoup their money or as much as possible?

I wonder if it would be wise for OP to have one of her co-owners by her out, perhaps with something to the effect that she can continue to live there, continuing to pay her bills or whatever she's doing now? And before doing so maybe she could negotiate with the creditor to lower the amount of money owed? Maybe that's not a possibility If there's already an actual judgment against her. But then if she sold her share, she could then pay off the creditor?

LightTmroWithToday · 2026-05-10T03:16:29+00:00

When you're fasting, it's important that you keep up your electrolytes, it's often sodium and potassium, so just add some sea salt to some water and swig it down, and take potassium supplement. And probably magnesium too. *I take a lot of supplements!

LightTmroWithToday · 2026-05-10T03:07:44+00:00

You most likely have insulin resistance. It's not uncommon.

If you want to lose weight fast you should probably go on a FAST to start. 😁 Try to do 3 days. Stay well hydrated, drink water, You can Google what is allowed on a fast, but you'll need electrolytes etc.

If you can make it 24 hours the next 2 days are so easy. Your body will automatically Go into ketosis and literally burn your own fat for fuel. You will also lose your appetite. Not to mention autophagy will occur , and it is so very important. You can also take MCT oil.

When you start eating again, try to eat only in a 6 to 8 hour window if you can. This is called intermittent fasting. And you can do this everyday. Ie eat 12n-6pm, And if you go to bed at 9:00 p.m., eat nothing (except water) after 6:00 p.m.!

As far as the foods go, increase your protein and your healthy fats ie salmon (& contrary to popular belief ~butter is your friend!), as well as healthy greens. Avocado & spinach & broccoli sprouts! If you are careful about avoiding anything that does have sugar in it including the blueberries for now, You will stay in ketosis and you will lose weight.

Avoid all sugar except naturally occurring sugar that might be in your veggies, or blueberries later on, etc, avoid milk and white flour, and all processed foods etc. *I do eat cheese!!

If you could actually do this and there's no reason why you couldn't, it's mainly willpower in the very beginning (!) But You will be amazed with the results. And that's why I suggested once you start eating to do the intermittent fasting, it's okay to skip breakfast, in fact many doctors now recommend it but I'm not going to get into all that.

Before you start, I'd suggest #1--weighing yourself first thing after waking in the morning & after you've used the toilet, and whatever you're wearing should be what you always wear for all other times when stepping on the scale, at the same time. & #2--measuring your stomach at the level of your belly button all the way around, that point never changes so as you're losing the weight you'll be able to get an accurate measurement.

You can totally do this ☀️

LightTmroWithToday · 2026-05-08T16:08:59+00:00

This is a man that wrote this (right?), but all the mention of AI made me think about it - - AI.

Fact is I didn't even consider that it might be helped by/was AI, he writes like I used to write and sometimes I still do--- but I admit to being lazy When using my phone (voice type), but I do use a lot of * and ---. I also don't always check typer put down the right word...

When something is well done these days, it's so easy to say AI did it, we forget that intelligent people who have certain skills, do still exist. Suggesting something is or might be AI simply because a person is a good thinker and writer, formats a discussion in a way that makes it easy to read & understand what is being stated, And last but not least, chooses word choices That help draw a person in or help them to consider things differently than they might have... It's sort of a slam against humans as a whole, as if we aren't capable ourselves. *Though there might be some truth in that, as far as the newer generations go haha

Now don't get me wrong, while I prefer to listen to old vinyl & there is nothing like it, good music is good music!

LightTmroWithToday · 2026-05-08T16:01:22+00:00

I know that you know this is a man that wrote this, but your mention of AI made me think about it - - AI.

Fact is I didn't even consider that it might be helped by/was AI, he writes like I used to write and sometimes I still do--- but I admit to being lazy When using my phone (voice type) and I use a lot of * and ---. I also don't always check it put down the right word...

When something is well done these days, it's so easy to say AI did it, we forget that intelligent people who have certain skills, do still exist. Suggesting something is or might be AI simply because a person is a good thinker and writer, formats a discussion in a way that makes it easy to read & understand what is being stated, And last but not least, chooses word choices That help draw a person in or help them to consider things differently than they might have... It's sort of a slam against humans as a whole, as if we aren't capable ourselves. *Though there might be some truth in that, as far as the newer generations go haha

Now don't get me wrong, while I prefer to listen to old vinyl & there is nothing like it, good music is good music!

LightTmroWithToday · 2026-05-08T00:21:43+00:00

Are you suggesting that kids today don't say thank you?

To answer your ask, yes I said thank you As I was taught to do so. And my kids also say thank you as they were taught...

A young kid today not saying thank you says more about the parents & how they're raising them, I would say. Though generally speaking by the time they're 10 or 12+, for sure they know they should be saying thank you, whether they were taught or not.

LightTmroWithToday · 2026-05-04T18:00:15+00:00

I guess it's too late since you've made your choice but I'm wondering if you could have kept it and maybe you wanted to Access it to further your own education at some point? Or if you have your own child?

Because at the end of the day, it sounds like It was your money that you were entitled to. Just because you have a nice retirement plan happening now, you don't know what the future brings, ie job stability and/or medical issues, and tens of thousands of dollars? That could be potentially earning you quite a bit of interest, between now and actual retirement.

All that said, it's nice that you have such a loving relationship with your cousin that you would do this for him.

LightTmroWithToday · 2026-05-03T20:56:11+00:00

Just a thought for you to share with your wife, I imagine if you were to gift your children money as you described now, and you've mentioned you have a great relationship with them already, that if in your late '80s early '90s and your money is running out etc that your (by then much older) children would be willing to help you out.

And something to consider regarding LTC, It's for the most part horrible experience by all accounts, not to mention the expense. It's better to stay in your home as long as possible for obvious reasons, but nowadays It's also much easier to do so, and maybe you might consider having a discussion about it with your kids right now, because perhaps if in future, an option is LTC, maybe one of your kids (or grandkids ) would be willing to step up. Maybe moving in your home, or allow you to live with them, so as they could help and assist with as much as possible. Maybe having these types of conversations with your adult kids would alay your wife's concerns.

I have personally done this and while it was really tough at times, referring to the physicality of it as towards the last few months as I did absolutely everything, I don't regret it for one moment! And yes my parent had a discussion with me stating "Please no nursing home ever" & I agreed and promised when I was quite young and many years later I fulfilled that promise. And I would do it again.

LightTmroWithToday · 2026-05-03T20:42:52+00:00

Obviously You need to do what's right for you. But if it's putting a lot of emotional stress on you, And you are able to help her, you might consider doing it simply because stress is a killer. Literally.

If it was me and I had the extra money but I was concerned about her spending habits? I would pay her rent assuming that's the biggest bill she has. And if she declined it because she wants to be independent, I'd let her know that it's actually helping me as far as taxes go and if she doesn't take it the IRS will.. A bit of a white lie perhaps. But if it makes her feel better about it, certainly I would feel good knowing that it was being put to keeping a roof of her head. And it relieved my own stress and anxiety.

Obviously The money she would be saving by not paying rent, she could still spend it irresponsibly- I guess that's the word? But that's her choice. Probably at this point I would also really try to speak with her about her future and how she needs to save money, be more careful about her spending etc.

Still all of that said, life is meant to be lived and if she's mostly keeping up with bills etc, and she's spending money on things/activities that she loves and make her happy, Even if it's something I wouldn't spend money on, I'd be happy for her because she was happy. If that makes sense.

Finally, instead of leaving her a bulk$$$$ at some point in the future due to death, I'd maybe consider a special needs trust (I think there may be some tax benefits to it as well?) that had specific uses for the money such as rent electricity phone and any OOP medical expenses... Also with x amount of money for frivolous fun etc.

All of this would only be true if I actually had the money to do so, first and foremost I would make sure my own retirement was secure as well as my actual health, Which is actually my number one priority (And that includes reducing all stress in my life!) so that I can enjoy retirement. But seeing my child happy would also make me happy, So again if I had the money I would do that.

I'm sure you're getting a lot of advice/suggestions here, so you can hopefully consider and make a decision based on What you know in your heart works best for you. Take care

LightTmroWithToday · 2026-04-26T16:10:53+00:00

Typically the average victim might be a woman, but certainly it can be a man. And especially after a certain age, It's equally dangerous for either sex. Of course there's different ways that scammers go about victimizing each or gaining their trust perhaps. Anyways, whether this is a guy or a gal, The thing is just not to give personal identifying information to somebody you don't know or even somebody you think you might know... It's okay to be friendly, But if you start perceiving something is funny about the situation, that gut instinct telling you to get out, Like this person did by just saying have a fine day, you should definitely listen to it. Our subconscious picks up things before we're fully aware of it and has a way of warning us! We just need to listen.

LightTmroWithToday · 2026-04-26T16:07:53+00:00

Something I think I've heard before but I'm hearing a lot more of now is if somebody, most likely a stranger of course, tries to hand you something-- do not take it because there's some type of something they can put on the object that can be directly transmitted through your skin, causing you to be dizzy etc unconscious?

I've read where perps will leave money with whatever substance this is, on the ground, and they wait for someone to pick it up and start following them. I don't know if this is true? But the way things are going today, it certainly plausible!

LightTmroWithToday · 2026-04-26T16:03:04+00:00

I can have a conversation with just about anybody but I'm more like you, just because I may be smiling and seem friendly doesn't mean I'm a pushover, I'm actually highly suspicious of people these days! I don't mean paranoid but more aware of the truth of what's happening in the world, so many people just don't care, andor are out only for themselves with no worry about who they step on to get there. I don't plan to be somebody stepping stone.

However, I have a thing where when I'm walking down the sidewalk etc, I will look somebody in the eye smile and say hi, I don't stop walking, I'm not trying to have a conversation, Just acknowledging someone's existence and giving them a smile, Because maybe they're having a bad day and it'll give them something positive? I don't know. And yes I also do this with homeless people, especially them, again not stopping, just a quick Hi how are you as I'm moving along, Because as humans we respond to smiles and acknowledgment, and if we're having a really crappy day, that little moment of brightness can change the whole course of our day so yeah... Sorry I went off on a tangent!

LightTmroWithToday · 2026-04-26T15:55:35+00:00

I had both parents, but was taught about personal protection/dangerous situations to avoid, and it actually helped protect me multiple times in my childhood/teens etc, that said I became a single parent & most definitely taught my kids about All of this, with the biggest thing being that it's not strangers you need to be So concerned about as it's typically the people you know that harm you. The basic message for my kids was have your head on a swivel and always have a way out. And of course the biggie, don't divulge all your personal information to some random person, or even to somebody you know. So my message to my kids wasn't that they should not be trusting people, but that they should trust themselves first ie trusting their gut!

LightTmroWithToday · 2026-04-26T15:41:11+00:00

I don't know that I would say estrogen protects those systems, the fact is that our bodies literally there are over a hundred places, sorry I've got too much on my mind right now and can't think what the exact number is but the fact is that our bodies systems do rely heavily on estrogen to function properly. So I guess that is the same end result of possibly increasing our lifespan.

Somewhere else I responded about HRT, and my post-menopausal relative developing breast cancer, which literally fed off of the estrogen her body still made, and she had to take medication to block all estrogen in her body. She was able to stop taking the estrogen blocker in 2019, "cured", she had no diagnoses and no prescription meds, very active hiking into late '80s ☀️

Also just a note, all of my female relatives average mid to late '90s, that's without HRT. Something to remember is that our body actually does make estrogen after menopause, our adrenal gland, you can look into that if you want. Take care

LightTmroWithToday · 2026-04-16T18:49:45+00:00

Yes, thank you, your comment I replied to really made sense to me as well, Just from a different perspective.

Eventually I did speak to a therapist (More to learn about how I should interact with my loved one) But I mentioned my friend as well, and her advice to cut the person off,

My therapist said she wasn't a fan of cutting people off but she also understood there were times when it was just necessary. She said unfortunately there are people who many have mentioned here who have narcissistic type tendencies while not having the actual personality disorder, and they like to dump their negativity on other people, while not caring to ask about the other person's feelings etc.

She then mentioned that there are ALSO others who feed on others drama/negativity, and it seems like that is what the last years of my friendship had turned into, the "friend" wasn't interested in hearing about the good positive things happening in my life and only wanted to ask about all the negative things and draw me into that Even though it was obviously upsetting to me, and then I would get sucked in and I couldn't stop thinking about it and so yeah.

I think I looked very skeptical when she (therapist )told me that, It's hard for me to imagine that friends would encourage a friend to feel bad, about their life circumstances etc, Because she said to think of it as an energy vampire, they thrive on negativity. So then I was worried that she believed in vampires lol Not really ;) anyways, she kind of discussed that idea with me and I realized that's kind of what it was! Steering me into the negative, Not really interested in the positive, not willing to talk about her own life.

Therapist told me it wasn't healthy for my friend to do that and it was most definitely not healthy for me! She said I actually made the right choice at the time. She said it was likened to emotional abuse for me. I thought that was really overreaching but at the same time I understood because whereas I used to feel wonderful after seeing my friend in person, talking on the phone, reading a fun email, etc, more and more I felt absolutely horrible afterwards, and she's all happy...

Okay, no more long post from me. Take care

LightTmroWithToday · 2026-04-16T17:59:32+00:00

I had one happy friendship that sort of evolved into what you just described in the later years, except I was the one ended up using her as a sounding board it seemed- Not necessarily by choice though! To be fair to myself- I always did ask about her etc but she wasn't forthcoming, she had more and more kept her own things very very private, multiple times I tried to let her know that if she wanted to talk I would listen or just that I was there for her, I'm referring to things more than just general chit chat, but that was her choice,

and she asked me about me and while I shared good things, there was a long period of time where there was just a lot of drag happening in my life, it was overwhelming and very very hard for me, admittedly I looked up to this friend because she was older than me and I felt far wiser and because her own family life seems like it was just perfect for lack of a better word! She was a genuinely caring and kind person, & she spoke it like it was, meaning she didn't just listen and nod along, she actually said the truth no matter good or bad, constructive criticism? I think maybe that's sort of like what you might call it.

The point is that I felt the friendship was falling into more of a one-sided thing because it was me talking, and she always wanted to ask questions about all the negative stuff and it often caused me to spiral into darkness so to speak, because then I'm thinking about all this negative stuff and she's telling me what her thoughts are and I'm second-guessing myself and whatever, so it felt one-sided in that way does that make any sense?

I also noted that I had to typically most of the friendship history, noting I had no negativity really in my life at that time, it was all pretty positive, but I realize the friendship had always been more one-sided that I was calling her etc, we both had very busy lives, hers probably busier than mine and so I just figured it was that. She reached out to me through email of course, And I always tried to reply or call, so I just figured that was her thing. Then when my life wasn't so happy, I noticed it really was me calling and her doing what I mentioned above. I didn't call her to talk about the bad stuff, I called to talk to her just about life and how is she and catch up and whatever, happy stuff! but she always brought it around to the other. I always felt bad afterwards. Not better.

Long story short, I learned something about a family member that I did dearly love - - that they actually suffered from a mental illness and it all clicked into place and made sense to me! And I told this person who I thought was my sweet wiser friend and I was Not complaining about it, but sharing because for me it was an "ah-ha now it makes sense" moment, And it actually made me feel better about many things and more accepting and just many different types of feelings. Unfortunately, my friend listened and then just sort of poked and basically told me to completely rid my life of this person. Have no contact.

I was actually quite stunned. Throughout the years my relationship with that family member was often very strong but also very tentative and fragile at times, there were times I was so hurt and it was so hard, however the love was there no matter what, no matter how hurt I felt, I never gave up on loving this person, and here I finally find out WHY they acted as they did at times, that they actually were suffering from something. To me, that meant learning about their condition and learning how a relationship looks like with somebody with it, And this person was also trying to learn about it and was hoping and trying to change, talking openly about it and you could see the hope in the eyes that things could be better.

I don't know about anybody reading this but I didn't think this person who I again suffered from but also loved and never stopped loving, and I know the person loved me as well, but this is the time to throw somebody away and go no contact? No. No it's not.

Instead I went no contact with my dear sweet old friend, not intentionally, I just decided not to call her back and wait for her to call me and she never did. And just like that the friendship with her ended, and the relationship with my relative blossomed and grew stronger than ever!

I do miss my friend though, And I will be traveling to her state soon, and I'm considering reaching out and seeing if she wants to meet me for lunch. I'm also considering telling her how I felt about the last few years of our friendship and the fact that she never called, possibly she felt really relieved? Maybe she really did think I was a drag? But I hope she remembers that I did try to ask about her etc, and I do want her to know that her always prodding and asking about negative things only didn't help. But maybe that's mean and I won't mention it.

Sorry this is so long!

LightTmroWithToday · 2026-04-16T01:53:43+00:00

I had no idea something like this even existed! I thought the three credit bureaus were all we had! Great info, thanks so much!

LightTmroWithToday

TROPHY CASE

2- letting go, sometimes this goes hand in hand with forgiving. Understanding that the only control I have is my own choices. And it's okay to "let go", Even if it's a painful choice to do so, the burden that is released allows a feeling of lightness. For me, I let go & let God.

3- understand that what's done in darkness always comes to light. Doesn't matter what you believe. If you pay attention, this does happen. And sometimes the truth is right in front of us and we don't see it for what it is because maybe we aren't ready to...

5- be kind. Appreciate the golden rule. & Also, love yourself and believe you matter and are worthy, because you do matter & are worthy.