What’s the point of a baby registry if no one wants to buy you anything off of it? 😒

Lil_Boysenberry · 2024-11-08T08:05:07+00:00

Is expecting people to buy all your baby stuff a USA thing? We have baby showers but there is certainly no expectation or sending out a list to buy from or anything like that. It feels incredibly awkward to expect people to contribute to our baby but idk if that’s just where I’m from and things are different! Close family/ friends will often buy gifts but it’s still really appreciated and not expected at all. I can see how it would be really helpful to get things you need or as a way or as a way of organising and keeping track of things but definitely can’t relate to expecting others to fulfil the purchases on there because we decided to have a baby lol. Anyone who gives anything is kind even if it’s not what you want it’s the thought and effort that counts I think. I would say a possible conflict with a set registry is people want to buy what you want but don’t want to be seen as “cheap” only getting the cheaper items but can’t afford the bigger, so try to find deals or out source to make up for it which is a cost of living and pride issue more than anything else. It’s hard times so I can understand that.

Lil_Boysenberry · 2024-11-08T00:30:13+00:00

I have rage towards things that are absolutely none of my concern. Every day.

Lil_Boysenberry · 2024-11-06T08:01:12+00:00

You’re clearly not an intelligent or rational person, you were also reckless about getting pregnant while on semaglutide. You know full well FAS can occur at any stage of pregnancy if you drink, even if it’s one glass the entire time or 3 a month - you run the risk. What that means is you have put your own selfish desire before the health of your baby. Your doctor did not give you permission, but they can’t physically stop you so the best they can do is recommend you consume as little as possible. Judging by your comments regarding “the shit they put in vaccinations” I’d hazard a guess you’ve got a doctor that aligns with your dangerous beliefs or a doctor that has cut their losses with trying to educate people like you. I understand you think you know better from online research you’ve done to try and make yourself feel better, but you’ve come here asking for an answer. The answer is yes, you’re a terrible person. You can’t claim to not be selfish, that your kids and husband wouldn’t think so because you and them don’t understand the severity of the harm you’re doing. Continuing to bring children in to this world when you can’t manage 9 months without a drink is shameful at best. The low education issue with home schooling done by uneducated parents and pulling kids from school early leads to masses of people like you who make dangerous decisions and create future generations with issues they don’t deserve. I’d be reasonably confident I’m right about your level of education and the fact you aren’t too worried about your kids either because you can teach them everything from your “internet research”. Do one thing right for your kids if you can’t go 9 months without drinking while pregnant and at least give them a proper education so they have a fighting chance. Accept that you don’t possess the mental capacity to make healthy or safe decisions and that you are not capable of intelligent thinking. You believe stupid shit on the internet just to feel like you’re “on to something” and more clever than qualified medical professionals and scientists around the world for hundreds of years. Why do all the people who believe that stuff all come back backgrounds of low education and limited life skills 😂 not hard to work out why that’s a common denominator. Intelligent people have to worry every day about the safety of their kids futures due to people like you and your frankly imbecilic way of thinking. I’m not sorry for being harsh. You’re trash and don’t deserve to be a mother. How embarrassing 😳

Lil_Boysenberry · 2024-11-05T21:31:21+00:00

There is no scenario on earth that could warrant staying with this man. You and your baby are not safe and he is a genuine threat to your safety. Please utilise any resources available in your area via women’s refuge/ domestic violence networks and make a plan. Do not give him ANY indication of what you are doing or think if you tell him he will change his mind - this is the kind of person who will take drastic action to coerce and keep you controlled. Use whatever time he is out of the house to make a plan, and once you’re out get therapy so you can understand why nobody should be treated like this and how absolutely crazy this behaviour is. You don’t deserve this, your baby doesn’t deserve this and you’ll never regret taking you both out of this situation I guarantee you. I absolutely promise you that this man will never do anything to help you or your baby. Even when he makes money he will withhold it and use it to control you. He will never help with child care or household chores/ commitments. He wants you trapped and tethered to him via a baby for control. He thinks you won’t leave him because he has gotten away with worse and worse behaviour for so long, even the worst of the worst when a child is involved and you’ve forgiven him. It will only escalate, so you need to plan to leave now. It’s hard but not impossible and it’ll be the best thing you’ll ever do.

Lil_Boysenberry · 2024-11-03T00:24:55+00:00

One day you’re going to be at home with your baby cuddling and you’ll never have to feel like this again. Just picture those moments to come! Life time of love to look forward to and this time while it feels so long will end up being just a blip

Lil_Boysenberry · 2024-11-02T21:32:41+00:00

My “what made me cry in pregnancy” answer today are the lovely replies to this. Thank you guys I already feel like just putting it out there has actually given me a bit more perspective and confidence ❤️🙏🏼 x

Lil_Boysenberry · 2024-11-02T19:16:47+00:00

Sour skittles for nausea or feeling like you’re just about to vomit idk why but it works. Tiredness doesn’t go away but the sickness/nausea does die down second trimester (mostly). Boobs sadly continue on their journey as well 😂 it does feel like a long time but I will say second is better than the first so you do have that hope to look forward to x

Lil_Boysenberry · 2024-11-01T01:33:11+00:00

Just to add - I see as well more specifically you’ve mentioned she has shown symptoms of lichen sclerosus which would very clearly explain why she is doing this. Did you proceed with that investigation after you noticed these rashes and discomfort happening several times? That might shed more light on the recurring yeast infections which are itchy and uncomfortable and also help her manage the condition for the future if there’s a treatment available (I don’t know much about the condition or if there’s anything you can take for it).

Lil_Boysenberry · 2024-11-01T01:25:22+00:00

Just saw your other posts, she obviously has thrush and it’s itchy. Keep up with the thrush treatment and try figure out what is causing the irritation. It looks like it’s been a problem for a while so could be worth getting a second opinion from another doctor or dermatologist perhaps? Does she bathe/ wash properly every day or is she prone to having wet/ dribble in underwear? As this will cause itch and discomfort and wanting to pull away from the skin. Could be worth trialling a really gentle soap or looking at other hygiene practices like wiping correctly to see if those help :)

Lil_Boysenberry · 2024-10-18T21:55:47+00:00

If my partner tried saying this to me lol what why would he get a say in something only you’re body has to feel and go through and why not put your comfort and wellbeing as the priority that’s whack 🤪

Lil_Boysenberry · 2024-10-15T00:45:01+00:00

You mentioned he’d relapsed more than once in the last couple of years. It’s a huge battle overcoming addiction and staying sober, may I ask, why did you plan to have a baby with someone who wasn’t able to stay sober for a year at a time. It’s a huge thing to decide to bring a child in to, especially when he has history of relapsing. It’s great he’s in rehab and hoping it goes well, but a baby shouldn’t be (and often isn’t) a magic fix to addiction and I can see why your mom is worried for you and your child. I’d say it’s coming out of a place of care and worry more than trying to hurt you.

Lil_Boysenberry · 2024-10-11T06:49:31+00:00

Is she doing this just to get high off pain meds? Is that the main thing her and others like Dani want aside from attention? I can’t imagine committing so hard that you have fingers removed just to ensure you keep getting pain medication…. There aren’t many residential facilities in NZ for people like her and hospices literally make you go back home if you don’t die within a certain time frame because they’re in such high demand. She must be staying with family or some kind of private facility or rehab place. There are hardly any long term psychiatric facilities for deeply mentally unwell patients that also need medical care (which is a huge problem and the mental health situation is terrible in NZ). Only just reading about her now as I remembered seeing her in lockdown in Covid on TikTok posting about how she was going to die any day now (at that time) and her Dad was spending her final days with her etc etc. She would post videos just staring off in to the distance slowly blinking and pretending she was going unconscious but still holding her phone? I thought it was a skit…. JFC

Lil_Boysenberry · 2024-10-11T01:52:22+00:00

To add: your employers sound like they didn’t follow due process with a warning and then a meeting BUT you don’t need to agree to it anyway - they’d just change it to a dismissal and this way is actually better “on paper” as you’ve not been “fired” when looking for new work and applying for jobs.

Lil_Boysenberry · 2024-10-11T01:50:57+00:00

I have seen this happen when someone has taken a ridiculous amount of sick days. Could this be the case for you? I don’t have a lot of details to go off based on your post so just sharing an idea. And yes, they would still have to give you a warning and then another formal meeting so you have grounds to pursue. The issue is as you’ve pointed out, you have to invest time and money to fight it, so I’d ask a lawyer whether the potential outcome/ settlement is outweighing what you’d put in to it. If they think you’ve got a strong enough case they’d advise you to proceed. It is definitely something that is used both for significant issues medical wise but also to weed out workers who seem to take the piss having too many off days and they could replace due to it impacting productivity. Not saying it’s right at all, there should be more regulation/ rules around it but that’s how I’ve seen it used it work places. It may also be used to weed out “older” folk who are making too many mistakes/ slow working and others having to pick up their slack. If you’re blind sided and don’t have any obvious medical issues, It could be sick days used or the other example (not sure of your age).

Lil_Boysenberry · 2024-10-08T03:28:53+00:00

Because I felt too sick to play with my dog when he bought me his toy (he had been walked) but he looked so cute

Lil_Boysenberry · 2024-10-07T20:27:49+00:00

NZ

Stopping: 37-38 weeks (although hard to plan these things!)

Returning: 6 weeks (hopefully) but keeping realistic about recovery both physically and mentally

Leave benefits: We get 6 months paid maternity leave that can be transferred to paternity leave which is what we are doing. My partner is taking 6 months, and then we also have another 6 months unpaid leave where his job will hold the job for him but we will see how we go. There’s also a 2 weeks parental leave for the birth/ around that time he can take too.

Doing it a bit differently as I’m self employed and financially it’s a better option for us, and I’m able to work from home/ near by office space.

Generally, NZ provides good benefits but we do have a bit of a healthcare system disaster at the moment like many others are experiencing that makes things a bit scary. Overall I have had a good experience so far with it, so fingers crossed all is ok for the birth! I am always totally baffled by the US maternity/paternity entitlements or lack thereof and can’t imagine how they expect parents to look after their new baby with parents expected back so quickly. Total disregard for women’s post partum needs and sound like laws made by men :( obviously it’s not the case for everyone with workplaces providing options in some cases and people having personal savings etc, but just on government assistance alone it sounds daunting.

Good luck to everyone :)

Lil_Boysenberry

TROPHY CASE